Damage done during a sleepover.

[Hillia]

Reminds me of those Family Circus cartoons where there's always a little ghost named Not Me or Ida Know when the parents are trying to get to the bottom of something.

[Lynn2000]

You do come up with brilliant out of the box ideas, so I'm on the fence with this one.  The other thing is I don't think any of the children would have done the stuff that had happened.  They might play tricksters sometimes, but they wouldn't mess with your house (hopefully). 

Count me as someone else who finds her reply odd. At least she didn't get angry... ? The part I don't like is what I've left above. She says she thought you were playing a trick on the kids, okay, fair enough I guess, but then when you tell her it wasn't you, she's like "I'm on the fence with this one"? Does she still seriously think you might have done it, and are just extending the joke to her? And then she goes on to say she doesn't think it could be any of the kids... so who would that leave? I was assuming her "ghost" comments were joking, but if she doesn't think it was the kids or you... what's her idea?

I think I would reply to let her know that indeed, it happened, I don't know who did it, and I'm upset about it. Also, I noticed in your email to her you didn't say you were suspending the sleepovers until this is resolved. If that's indeed what you've decided to do (which I personally think is a good idea), I would be sure to tell her that in your reply. Maybe that would make her take it a bit more seriously, and finally get her to realize you're not just playing some prank on everyone. PP have suggested good phrasing for that--I think one was, "We won't be doing anymore sleepovers for the time being, as the kids can't seem to behave when they're together." That doesn't point out any one kid, or her kids, as those at fault. From the timeline of events you posted earlier, I can see why you thought it was the nephew, though!

Maybe I'm being silly with this, but she talked about ghosts a lot in her email, and I think you said the 6-year-old just came up with this ghost fear suddenly. It really makes me wonder if they've been talking about ghosts at her house a lot lately for some reason, and that gave someone (nephew?) the idea to prank your son with a ghost story and some "ghost" evidence. Maybe he talked to your son about ghosts, then was going to produce the evidence but your son fell asleep first. Red marker scribblings on the countertop could be someone's simulation of "writing in blood," mwhahahahaha...

Some of the other stuff, I still wonder if one of the pets could have done it. Obviously it was one of the pets who threw up; that might have had nothing to do with anything else, except someone made a lame attempt to "clean it up" with the soap. Could one of the pets have gotten into the pistachios and found they didn't agree with them?

[Sharnita]

You said the 11 yo tells fantastical stories, almost to the point of lying. My guess  is that  he believes every word  and that his mom is his source material.

[Isisnin]

 oopsie, your DH is wise.  Don't bother to respond.

When the cousins sleep over again, you could tell them that that behavior is not to be repeated - clean up after oneself, property is not to be damaged, and don't mess with food as people can get sick.

Instead of a long vacation with the cousins, y'all could day-cation to parks, etc. nearby a couple times.

Reminds me of those Family Circus cartoons where there's always a little ghost named Not Me or Ida Know when the parents are trying to get to the bottom of something.

I've missed Not Me and Ida Know!  That's where they are - ex-SIL's house!!

[oopsie]

oopsie, your DH is wise.  Don't bother to respond.

I agree. I just don't see the point. We are at an impasse. I could no more convince her that it was one of the kids that did it than she could convince me it was a ghost.

[lady_disdain]

You said the 11 yo tells fantastical stories, almost to the point of lying. My guess  is that  he believes every word  and that his mom is his source material.

Yup and it explains why the OP's son is now worried about ghosts in his house.

[Talley]

Coming late to this thread, but I have to say the reply from cousins' mom strikes me as weird... 

Now, I do believe in ghosts, but... I'm kind of scratching my head here. Does the mom usually believe in ghosts? Has something like this come up before? I am kind of wondering if perhaps such things have, in fact, happened at her house, and she has explained them away as 'ghosts', because she doesn't think that any of her kids would do such a thing? Other than that, I've got nothing. 

[oopsie]

Coming late to this thread, but I have to say the reply from cousins' mom strikes me as weird... 

Now, I do believe in ghosts, but... I'm kind of scratching my head here. Does the mom usually believe in ghosts? Has something like this come up before? I am kind of wondering if perhaps such things have, in fact, happened at her house, and she has explained them away as 'ghosts', because she doesn't think that any of her kids would do such a thing? Other than that, I've got nothing. 

Based on her reply to me and giving me the 411 on types of ghosts, I would guess that she does. She also said "You know, because I have extensive knowledge of this" I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or ironic or dead serious. It's not something we've ever discussed before.

[HorseFreak]

I had a friend when I was 9 years old who was a pathological liar. Her mother completely ignored her fantastic stories about keeping her pregnant hamster in the minivan and had no response when I asked if she was really going to charge me to use the bathroom as her daughter had informed me. These were just the tip of the iceberg and I honestly don't think the mom cared all that much or believed her princess was doing/saying all these crazy things.

Personally, I would just suspend sleepovers for now as I doubt mom will ever admit that her kids are anything but angels. You probably will never get a confession out of any of them. Heck, my brother took 20 years to finally own up to cutting off the cat's whiskers when we were kids!

[Snooks]

Very strange reply, I'm with everyone else, just disengage with her and stop sleepovers.

[oopsie]

I had a friend when I was 9 years old who was a pathological liar. Her mother completely ignored her fantastic stories about keeping her pregnant hamster in the minivan and had no response when I asked if she was really going to charge me to use the bathroom as her daughter had informed me. These were just the tip of the iceberg and I honestly don't think the mom cared all that much or believed her princess was doing/saying all these crazy things.

Personally, I would just suspend sleepovers for now as I doubt mom will ever admit that her kids are anything but angels. You probably will never get a confession out of any of them. Heck, my brother took 20 years to finally own up to cutting off the cat's whiskers when we were kids!

This describes nephew to a T. He once told me all about their trip to play mini golf and he rode a Bowser ride from Super Mario Bros and was describing it in complete detail with sound effects to boot. I turned to one of his sisters and asked "when did you guys go to play mini golf?" and she replied "we didn't. None of that actually happened."

[Talley]

Coming late to this thread, but I have to say the reply from cousins' mom strikes me as weird... 

Now, I do believe in ghosts, but... I'm kind of scratching my head here. Does the mom usually believe in ghosts? Has something like this come up before? I am kind of wondering if perhaps such things have, in fact, happened at her house, and she has explained them away as 'ghosts', because she doesn't think that any of her kids would do such a thing? Other than that, I've got nothing. 

Based on her reply to me and giving me the 411 on types of ghosts, I would guess that she does. She also said "You know, because I have extensive knowledge of this" I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or ironic or dead serious. It's not something we've ever discussed before.

Since she wrote that she has knowledge of ghostly activities, I would be tempted to ask her if something like this has happened at her house before. But I am not sure that this would be a good idea. This might be a can of worms that better stay closed.

On the other hand, if you found out that stuff like this has happened at the mom's house (and while the kids were at home) - how big are the odds that both your places are 'haunted' like this?

It might be best, though, not to reply and just not do sleepovers anymore...

[zyrs]

Coming in a little late, but this gives you the perfect reason for canceling the vacation together;  "What with the price of ghost-proofing the house, the trip we planned isn't feasible anymore.  Plus, we wouldn't want it following us to another location and causing problems for other people.  That would be rude of us."

edited to change a poltergeist into a ghost.

[oopsie]

Coming in a little late, but this gives you the perfect reason for canceling the vacation together;  "What with the price of ghost-proofing the house, the trip we planned isn't feasible anymore.  Plus, we wouldn't want it following us to another location and causing problems for other people.  That would be rude of us."
edited to change a poltergeist into a ghost.

I love it! Could I really do this or would I burn in e-hell? 

[sevenday]

I think the only thing you CAN do is just quietly drop it.  The next time a sleepover opportunity comes, either have it at THEIR house, or sit the kids down - ALL of them! - and say, "Look, what happened last time - you remember, the pistachios, the magic marker, etc - WILL NOT repeat itself this time, or there will be no more sleepovers at all."  If someone goes "But it was a ghost," you can just say, "Well then you guys had better keep a close eye out for this ghost, and if you see it, tell them to knock it off." 

For your six year old, gently point out that he's been living here however long, and there was no sign of this ghost until that sleepover, which means that the 'ghost' is one of the three cousins, most likely the boy for the reasons you've described already.  If he asks why the cousin would lie and say it's a ghost, explain that the cousin was afraid of getting in trouble so he wouldn't admit that he did it, just like he (The six year old) might lie if he accidentally broke something.  You could turn it into a life lesson about lying and such.