Trusty e-hellions, I need your input.
LordL has a number of relatives that he hasn't seen in a very long time (at least 15 years) and has no present relationship
with, including several aunts and cousins. His parents keep in closer touch with these relatives than he does. Apparently, his parents visited them over the summer and spilled the beans about the wedding - date, location, etc. - under the assumption we intended to invite all of them. We found out about this weeks later when MIL said "oh by the way, Cousin So-and-so is already planning who they will carpool with to your wedding! I told all of them about it and they're really excited to come." Our response was basically
Since then LordL has wavered back and forth about what to do. I don't think he would have chosen to invite these people and he is definitely Not Amused that his mother did so without asking first. He visibly cringes every time I bring up that section of the guest list and mention we need to decide if we're actually inviting them or not. We had initially agreed that we would not invite anyone to the wedding who would be a virtual stranger to us, because we both feel like a wedding is too crazy already to be dealing with introductions to "new" groups - it makes both of us really socially anxious and that's not what we want on our wedding day. On the other hand, it's not a ton of people - probably 10-12 - and budget wise we can probably accommodate that.
I've mentioned that maybe he could try to rekindle his relationship
with these relatives between now and the wedding and he seemed lukewarm on the idea. He has trouble just keeping up with the family he is currently in touch with (they live scattered across the region and aren't good at answering calls/email) that I think the idea of trying to form new relationships
sounds like work to him.
Personally I don't have a horse in this race, but I think LordL would feel better knowing what the etiquette approved way of uninviting them is, or if there simply isn't one and he needs to just graciously invite them. Would it be his mother's responsibility to call and explain her mistake, or ours? Or is there no polite way to rescind an unauthorized verbal invite?