Mom's 18-point rules for son and iphone

[Sharnita]

He seems pretty cheerful when asked for his take on the whole thing so he does not seem to find it nasty at all.

[Yvaine]

He seems pretty cheerful when asked for his take on the whole thing so he does not seem to find it nasty at all.

I bet it'll be taken away if he's not cheerful about it on TV and he knows it! 

[Sharnita]

He'll probably be locked in the cellar and starved into submission. That usually is the next step.

[Yvaine]

He'll probably be locked in the cellar and starved into submission. That usually is the next step.

 

I assume you're joking, but if not, that's just silly hyperbole. It's no leap to guess that someone with that many rules for the phone might confiscate it if she thought the kid was acting ungrateful. It's a huge leap from that to starvation.

Though, realistically, I don't know if she even plans to enforce any of these rules or if they're just posted to get attention!

[jmarvellous]

I find it pretentious and silly that the mom and kid are using this for publicity (or more likely that the mom is using this plus using her unable-to-protest kid for publicity).

As far as the rules, it's not rude for parents to set parameters for their kids! But it does befuddle me that they'd set the 7:30 cutoff for a teen, and I really hate her framing encouragement to play word games and listen to new music as "rules." Those aren't rules, they're dictates of taste. If you want your kid to listen to hip or unusual music, you play it when he's in the room or something; you don't tell him, "You can't listen to 'Gangnam Style,' 'Call Me Maybe' and never look up any new music" unless you want him to rebel by doing exactly that.

I also hate that she assumes he's going to mess up or break the phone or her rules. It's so disrespectful to set out with the assumption that your child is no good, and it doesn't inspire him to be BETTER.

[Hmmmmm]

I find it pretentious and silly that the mom and kid are using this for publicity (or more likely that the mom is using this plus using her unable-to-protest kid for publicity).

As far as the rules, it's not rude for parents to set parameters for their kids! But it does befuddle me that they'd set the 7:30 cutoff for a teen, and I really hate her framing encouragement to play word games and listen to new music as "rules." Those aren't rules, they're dictates of taste. If you want your kid to listen to hip or unusual music, you play it when he's in the room or something; you don't tell him, "You can't listen to 'Gangnam Style,' 'Call Me Maybe' and never look up any new music" unless you want him to rebel by doing exactly that.

I also hate that she assumes he's going to mess up or break the phone or her rules. It's so disrespectful to set out with the assumption that your child is no good, and it doesn't inspire him to be BETTER.

I'm surprised so many people are reacting to the 7:30 for a kid in 6th or 7th grade.  We don't know their house rules.  It could simply be that 7:30 is when they set aside for family time and homework.
Or it could be that they don't want electronics to take over their lives so they've decided that personal electronic devices are put away for everyone in the family, including parents.

Kids have survived for centuries without the ability to immediately communicate with their friends at all times.  This boy is not going to be stunted for life because he has to stop messing with his cell phone after 7:30.

Having a Cell phone, a car, and a laptop are still privileges that my teens enjoy because I allow them.  They are not inalienable rights just because they became teenagers in Western Society.

[jmarvellous]

Wow, I just said I find it befuddling -- as in surprising and arbitrary. No one's saying you can't set surprising and arbitrary rules for your kids.

[Yvaine]

Wow, I just said I find it befuddling -- as in surprising and arbitrary. No one's saying you can't set surprising and arbitrary rules for your kids.

Yeah, this.

It might well be some more intricate aspect of their family scheduling that she didn't elaborate upon in her post, who knows? It just surprised me because my parents were really strict and I could still call people until nine. The schoolwork was blocked in much earlier! 

[SiotehCat]

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

Do they not trust their child to just turn the phone off at 7:30? Why does he have to hand it over? If they don't trust their child to do something as simple as turn the phone off at a certain time, can they trust their child to follow all the other rules?

[Hmmmmm]

Wow, I just said I find it befuddling -- as in surprising and arbitrary. No one's saying you can't set surprising and arbitrary rules for your kids.

But why do you see it as arbitrary?  To me an arbitrary rule is based on a whim or impulse, but not based on reason or policy. 

And I wasn't replying to you only, there were others who also commented about the time. 

[GreenEyedHawk]

The "Wonder without Googling" one seems really silly to me.  Why would you not want your kid to learn new stuff by looking it up when he has questions?  I do that for everything from stuff like "how does an internal combustion engine work" to "Hmm, I've come across a word I don't know the meaning of, I should look that up".  I don't feel anyone is worse off for learning new things and finding answers to their questions.

[Sharnita]

Well, to be fair, there are other ways to look things up.  It isn't like before the advent of Google we would wonder "how does an internal combustion engine work" only to realize "I guess it will remain a mystery". 

[thedudeabides]

I guess people will attention-whore about anything these days.

[Jules1980]

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

Do they not trust their child to just turn the phone off at 7:30? Why does he have to hand it over? If they don't trust their child to do something as simple as turn the phone off at a certain time, can they trust their child to follow all the other rules?

I have to say, kids aren't the best judge of that.  Where I work, we prohibit cell phone usage once the sleep tests have started.  This is because the electrical current from the phones interferes with the test.  We are very up front about this and why this policy is in place and still the number of teens/preteens and young adults who think we can't tell that they still have their phones on and try to text or web surf under the blankets where they think we can't see them is astounding.  We've had to actually go in and physically take the phones away to stop them.  As far as posting all this to her blog though, attention @#$*() BIG TIME,

[AngelBarchild]

Whose name is on the contract? That's who owns the phone.

Well, yes.  I think that's the point a lot of people are making - an iphone that has the mother's name on the contract and this many rules about the use is actually the mother's iphone that she lets her son use.

That's fine and in fact possibly even sensible for a 13 year old, but I think it makes for a lousy Christmas present - I've never had a gift that allows me 'X amount of use of my item, but if you don't use it the way I want you to, I'll take it back' and if someone offered something to me on these terms, I'd decline.

If the person making the so called gift then announced their rules in public, I'd be furious.

Every gift I give my child has these rules. I don't think I could effectively parent if I couldn't take anything away from my child.
I think you are looking at this from an adult perspective. If an adult was given a gift with strings attached to it, that would be rude, but I don't know anyone who would give a 13 year old a phone/computer/game system with no restrictions.