Merry Christmas and A Happy Eternity

[gramma dishes]

My husband's parents did this.  They bought two next to theirs -- a grave site for my husband and one for 'his wife'.  (He was a kid at the time.  We hadn't met yet.  He had no wife.)

Those two sites shall remain unoccupied.  We both wish to be cremated and scattered. 

Did you parents stop to think about what if you get married, have kids, and/or want something other than in-ground burial?

[CakeEater]

I disagree.

But I'm willing to agree to do so mutually.

Okey-dokey. 

[BarensMom]

Many cemeteries now "double-deck" their burial plots, so the first one to go is buried 9 feet down, then the other is buried the standard 6 feet.  So if the OP and her spouse want to be buried there, it's ready when they are. 

[peachykeen]

I worked at a cemetery for 12 years. Yes a plot can be resold and in our cemetery the prices were whatever you could get for it (secondary sales were private and not controlled by our offices).
Ashes can be buried in a regular burial plot if you wish. I also think it's a regional thing. We are in the deep South (USA) and it is important where your family is buried for some people.
I personally have bought a niche in a columbarium at the cemetery where I worked where my ashes will reside.
Now, I grew up in the midwest and my parent bought several adjoining plots when we were children. I don't think any of us children will be buried there but we were very grateful that Mom and Dad took care of the arrangements including their plots well ahead of time. A while back I believe my brother tried to sell the extra plots and was told about the rules at that cemetery. He was told that you could only sell the plots at the price that was originally paid. The price my parents paid in the 1950's was much lower than my brother had hoped to get for them.
I think a burial plot is an unusual gift but, as others have said, you have options to use it or not.

[Daffydilly]

I'm imagining a thank you note in the shape of a tombstone.

"Here lies my thanks,
for future burial plans.
And I'm gravely struck
at where I'll rest."

[Ladybugs]

You could write something like "now thanks to you, under shady trees Ill lie, with you by my side...signed your (eternally grateful) daughter...

[MariaE]

I'm presuming that the OP's parents know her well enough to know whether she wants to be buried or scattered or sent into space.   After all, that's kind of one of those things you're going to need to tell someone about ahead of time if you want it done.

Why would you presume that? My parents don't have a clue what I want. It's just not the type of thing we talk about.

[Elisabunny]

Yo, ho, ho
What a comforting thing to know:
There's a pre-arranged spot
In the family plot
Where my royal bones will go!


Yes, I did start singing this when we got home from buying the multiperson plot that includes YS's.  I think I was slightly hysterical at the time.

[bloo]

I'm presuming that the OP's parents know her well enough to know whether she wants to be buried or scattered or sent into space.   After all, that's kind of one of those things you're going to need to tell someone about ahead of time if you want it done.

Why would you presume that? My parents don't have a clue what I want. It's just not the type of thing we talk about.

I suppose that I presumed the same thing: that if the parents bought it for them, that they already had some idea of the OP's wishes.

My parents (dad, for some reason) are so tickled with theirs that we all drive by and visit it when we go to visit them. Seriously

To the rest of us, it's funny and it was a good thing because it opened up a discussion of what my wishes are.

While this gift seems impractical for me because DH & I desire cremation, I have to admit that I've been wondering what to do with my ashes. I could just make that my next-of-kin's problem. My desire is cremation and then for my next-of-kin to spread the ashes wherever has the greatest meaning for him (or them, whoever). However, it has recently come to my attention that the state I live in has laws about the disposition of ashes. I do not want to be in an urn, carted around, but when I'm dead I won't be around to be all snitty about it.

A gift like what was given to the OP would eliminate that concern.

At any rate, the suggested 'thank-you's' given by Elisabunny and others - even tongue-in-cheek - are excellent!

[Ladybugs]

Bloo....in regards to your thoughts above that "when I'm in an urn, I don't want to be carted around, but then ill be dead and won't be able to be all snitty about it"....maybe this leads into a whole other area here to discuss "etiquette for the afterlife" lol

When I'm dead and six feet under
How polite would it be
For me to complain
Bout not being under a tree?

How will we address issues that come up in the afterlife, maybe we can have an afterlife etiquette forum to discuss when haunting a person is appropriate versus just resolving the issue thru st Peter,or whatever chain of command there is?  I guess for now I have my plate full worrying about the here and now, but still, its an idea

[AuntieA]

Elisabunny - love the "Slipper and the Rose" reference! 

[Flora Louise]

Thanks everyone, for your thoughts. I didn't think the topic would take on the very serious issues brought up here.

As for me, I am not at all offended by my folks' gift. They were just trying to take care of me and if I were to unload it at some point they wouldn't be hurt. We have never discussed the idea seriously, but I do want to be interred so there was no problem there.

[DottyG]

Go walk on it. Trust me, it's a weird feeling!

[Diane AKA Traska]

I can only say that for me, personally, I'd be ticked off.  I not only want to be cremated, I'm vehemently opposed to, as George Carlin once said, storing all your dead people in one part of town.  If that's what someone else wants, that's fantastic for them, but for me personally it would be akin to getting me drug paraphernalia... not only is it something I have no interest in, it's actually anathema to my desires.

But then, everyone who's actually close to me knows this.

[Sharnita]

To me it seems like it could be really manipulative. Discussing "what do you want and where do you see that taking place" is a fine discussion but it doesn't lend itself to surprising somebody with a Christmas gift. If this plot is sprung on me does that make me the keeoer of everybody ekse's plots? What if I move away, am I still desigbated visitor and tender? Does that oasson to my kids when I'm gone?