My DD, 17, was to go on her first overnight Anime' convention with a good friend "G" whom she's know for several years. G organized the event, booked a hotel room and handpicked HER friends to occupy it with parental approval (DD did not know the other girls but G's mom assured me they were responsible and friendly). As a result, DD spent this past year saving money, making her cos-play, studying for panels and scheduling events so the 3 days would be jam packed with activities from morning into late evening.
The night before the convention, 364 days after initiating this venture, G called DD and said she wasn't going. With DD in tears I called the girl who said she felt "religiously convicted" against going. Mind you, she's attended dozens of other Anime' events. I even drove her and DD back and forth to one last year (2 hours round trip, once in morning then again to pick them up in the evening - Whew!!! Hence the hotel room this year). I said I respected her convictions but keeping your commitments when time, effort, money and emotions have been invested, was important as well. I ended the conversation telling her that DD would have to back out of the hotel agreement/attending because she didn't know the other girls. She was relying on G to introduce her and be a companion for the event. Her mom called me immediately after and tried to defend her daughter. I just stated we were blindsided at the last minute, disappointed and would do what we could to salvage the situation.
As of right now I am frustrated, angry and am driving DD back and forth so she can meet up w/ other friends during the day. It was 4 hours of driving again. How do I go forward with relations with this mom and G? Am I overreacting? Is this an issue that should result in a cut direct? (We've had one other flake-out in the past, but it was mild. This feels nuclear!)