General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Stingy co-worker

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Annoyed in America:
I work in a small office.  Sometimes one of us will bring in purchased goodies, enough so everyone gets one.  Said goodies are not cheap.  One person NEVER reciprocates.  He will always take one (or more), sometime say a quiet thanks (not always).  I find it rude that in 5 years he has never once brought in or given a single treat.  Treats are brought in about every other week.  Is it okay to bring in treats and distribute them to everyone else and leave him out?

bonyk:
I think it would be.  What you could do is start a sign-up sheet to 'organize' who is bringing in treats  and encourage him to choose a week.  He may just be clueless, and need a little push to participate.

lady_disdain:
Yes, it would be, as long as the treats are being brought in for the office. While he may not be bringing in treats, are you sure he isn't reciprocating in other ways (voluntarily doing the heavy lifting, changing the water bottle at the cooler, etc)? Ok, I may be an optimist.

The best way to go around this would be to organize a breakfast club, a tea party, snack society or whatever, where the members rotate bringing in treats. Then, it is clearly spelled out what the expectations are and the rules for participating?

Annoyed in America:
A little clarification here...He doesn't do any heavy lifting (in fact he avoids doing anything not specific to his job).  He won't speak up when supplies are needed, but will wait until they are completely gone and right after supplies were ordered and delivered to mention "Oh BTW we are out of ...."  I am 32 years older than him and I frequently have to actually lift heavy supplies.  He can sit there and watch someone struggle and not get out of his chair or offer to help. 
On a side note he has money...He lives with his parents, pays no rent, has no bills whatsoever.  I think he puts his money in the bank and watches the balance grow.  He spends it on nothing. No girlfriend, very few friends.
When going through doors he never holds them open for women, he pushes through first.  I guess I am weary of his stingyness in every facet of his personality.

peaches:

--- Quote from: Annoyed in America on January 05, 2013, 07:33:41 AM ---I Is it okay to bring in treats and distribute them to everyone else and leave him out?

--- End quote ---

I wouldn't do this in a workplace. It could create hard feelings and drama, and in my experience, bosses hate drama.

What you're describing is voluntary. The employer didn't assign this duty (bringing treats) to employees, and may consider it trivial and unnecessary. 

I agree that the behavior of this one employee is annoying. He is taking advantage. But you don't have to bring treats if you don't want to.

Iím not saying that good manners, cooperation and teamwork are not important in the workplace. They are, and I believe most employers appreciate these qualities. What employers donít appreciate is one employee pointing out the bad manners of another.

I would weigh the benefits versus the hazards of making an issue of this.

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