Author Topic: Stingy co-worker  (Read 9075 times)

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oceanus

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #30 on: January 06, 2013, 10:09:10 PM »
Quote
but I do have a direct influence on his raises and bonus'

???

What does that have to do with the issue of "treats"?
You said yourself he's a good worker, so just what is it you're getting at?

Yvaine

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #31 on: January 06, 2013, 10:18:11 PM »
Stay out of it.

I can't really understand being annoyed about one person not caring to bring in treats -- and I've never tallied who does and doesn't bring things in in my workplace, honestly. It seems very petty to count who does and doesn't bring things in, and how often. BUT since you do care, please keep it to yourself. There could be a dozen reasons he doesn't want to or doesn't think to bring in treats to share with his co-workers. It's in no way an obligation of an employee.

And your concerns about his not helping you when you think he ought sound pretty sexist/ageist, actually. It's hardly more of his responsibility to perform your job duties because he's a young man than it would be if he was a woman five years your senior. I would keep these to yourself unless he's doing something directly negative that affects your work and his, and if you think he's actually not doing well at his job, tell his supervisor -- don't tell him directly.
ere.

Bottom line...no more office treats.  Since it is a small office tallying isn't necessary, since he NEVER has brought in a single thing and it is painfully obvious to the other 3 people there. And I am above him in the office hierarchy and in a position to make office policy.  He doesn't perform any of my office duties, but I do have a direct influence on his raises and bonus'.  THE END.

It sounds rather like you're considering retaliating against him professionally. Please tell me I'm misreading--this would be an overreaction to his being clueless about a voluntary social thing that isn't related to his work performance.

oceanus

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #32 on: January 06, 2013, 10:39:48 PM »
Unfortunately people sometimes get quite offended and bent out of shape when someone doesn’t attach the importance to trivial peripherial “fitting in” issues that they do.  It’s a shame, because there are better ways to handle this. Raises and bonuses based on cookies and brownies – that’s a new one. :D  If OP is planning such a “policy”, hope she has a plan to handle the repercussions.

Sharnita

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #33 on: January 07, 2013, 06:38:08 AM »
Unfortunately, raises and bonuses based on cookies and such probably isn't all that new.  And while an employee theoretically has recourse proving that decision have been based on those kids of things is harder than one might realize.  Then waiting for the slow wheels of justice to turn and hoping htat they turn in your favor ...

If there are duties in his job description he is not doing on a regular basis then of course that should be addressed.  Hidden, unspoken expectations that he is being judged on and put on double secret probation speaks to a lack of focus on what is truly important.  The treats people brought in were something to make people happy and to lighten the mood, not a yardstick or test.

zoidberg

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #34 on: January 07, 2013, 07:49:37 AM »
As someone who worked in HR: If I ever got wind of one of the managers making decisions of raises and bonuses based on people bringing in treats or not, there would be hell to pay. It might happen, especially in small offices, but it's incredibly unprofessional.

pharmagal

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #35 on: January 07, 2013, 07:50:59 AM »
Bottom line...no more office treats.  Since it is a small office tallying isn't necessary, since he NEVER has brought in a single thing and it is painfully obvious to the other 3 people there. And I am above him in the office hierarchy and in a position to make office policy.  He doesn't perform any of my office duties, but I do have a direct influence on his raises and bonus'.  THE END.

That rates up there as one of the most unprofessional things I have seen.

Raises and bonuses dependant on bringing in treats and doing things out side of his job description?  When I believe you previously stated that he performs his job well? 

A workplace shouldn't be high school.  Nor should it be a popularity contest. If I were him, and I caught I whiff of what you think you can do, I'd be straight on the phone to an employment lawyer.

And as for how much money he does or doesn't have, it is absolutely none of your business what he chooses to do with the money he has earned.  For all you know he could be donating it all to a charity.  Or saving to pay cash for a house.  How dare you?

Giggity

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #36 on: January 07, 2013, 07:53:35 AM »
Is it in his job description to bring cookies?

If not, you can't base any job decisions on his failing to do something he doesn't have to do.
Words mean things.

Yvaine

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #37 on: January 07, 2013, 08:06:16 AM »
Unfortunately, raises and bonuses based on cookies and such probably isn't all that new.  And while an employee theoretically has recourse proving that decision have been based on those kids of things is harder than one might realize.  Then waiting for the slow wheels of justice to turn and hoping htat they turn in your favor ...

True. I think I just always naively thought that the bosses, even to themselves, told themselves it was really for some trumped-up work reason and didn't flat-out admit it was over cookies.

TheBardess

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #38 on: January 07, 2013, 08:28:27 AM »
Bottom line...no more office treats.  Since it is a small office tallying isn't necessary, since he NEVER has brought in a single thing and it is painfully obvious to the other 3 people there. And I am above him in the office hierarchy and in a position to make office policy.  He doesn't perform any of my office duties, but I do have a direct influence on his raises and bonus'.  THE END.

That rates up there as one of the most unprofessional things I have seen.

Raises and bonuses dependant on bringing in treats and doing things out side of his job description?  When I believe you previously stated that he performs his job well? 

A workplace shouldn't be high school.  Nor should it be a popularity contest. If I were him, and I caught I whiff of what you think you can do, I'd be straight on the phone to an employment lawyer.

And as for how much money he does or doesn't have, it is absolutely none of your business what he chooses to do with the money he has earned.  For all you know he could be donating it all to a charity.  Or saving to pay cash for a house.  How dare you?

I absolutely agree with what pharmagal said. Every word.

OP, I'm going to be brutally honest here- this is one of the pettiest threads I have ever seen. You seem to be carrying an inordinate amount of anger towards your co-worker for not doing a completely voluntary action. Would it be nice if he occasionally brought in treats to the office? Sure. But he is under absolutely no obligation to do so. Bringing in goodies is a voluntary action. Nobody has to do it. It's a nice thing to do, and it would be nice if your co-worker reciprocated, but this is not something that is required or essential. It really doesn't matter why he doesn't do it. The fact is, he doesn't have to, for whatever reason he choose not to, and penalizing him for not doing something that is totally voluntary and not at all related to his work duties is petty, vindictive, and just plain wrong.

And as other posters have said- his financial affairs are none of your business. None. Frankly, if this is the kind of pettiness, scrutiny, and grubby score-keeping that goes on in your office, I cannot say it is a place I would care to work. Middle and high school were bad enough the first time around, thanks.
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bopper

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #39 on: January 07, 2013, 09:47:47 AM »
I agree with whoever said a broad hint would be best.
"Cow-irker, do you have a favorite kind of (cookie, bagel, breakfast treat)?  Maybe you could bring in some next week."


Dalek

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #40 on: January 07, 2013, 10:00:14 AM »
OP:
Please don't retaliate by affecting your coworker's livelihood. That is just cruel. Yeah, I get his stinginess is irritating but I think you either need to eliminate office treats if they're causing drama or just tell him it's his turn to bring something.
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gorplady

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #41 on: January 07, 2013, 10:02:59 AM »
Bottom line...no more office treats.  Since it is a small office tallying isn't necessary, since he NEVER has brought in a single thing and it is painfully obvious to the other 3 people there. And I am above him in the office hierarchy and in a position to make office policy.  He doesn't perform any of my office duties, but I do have a direct influence on his raises and bonus'.  THE END.

That rates up there as one of the most unprofessional things I have seen.

Raises and bonuses dependant on bringing in treats and doing things out side of his job description?  When I believe you previously stated that he performs his job well? 

A workplace shouldn't be high school.  Nor should it be a popularity contest. If I were him, and I caught I whiff of what you think you can do, I'd be straight on the phone to an employment lawyer.

And as for how much money he does or doesn't have, it is absolutely none of your business what he chooses to do with the money he has earned.  For all you know he could be donating it all to a charity.  Or saving to pay cash for a house.  How dare you?

I absolutely agree with what pharmagal said. Every word.

OP, I'm going to be brutally honest here- this is one of the pettiest threads I have ever seen. You seem to be carrying an inordinate amount of anger towards your co-worker for not doing a completely voluntary action. Would it be nice if he occasionally brought in treats to the office? Sure. But he is under absolutely no obligation to do so. Bringing in goodies is a voluntary action. Nobody has to do it. It's a nice thing to do, and it would be nice if your co-worker reciprocated, but this is not something that is required or essential. It really doesn't matter why he doesn't do it. The fact is, he doesn't have to, for whatever reason he choose not to, and penalizing him for not doing something that is totally voluntary and not at all related to his work duties is petty, vindictive, and just plain wrong.

And as other posters have said- his financial affairs are none of your business. None. Frankly, if this is the kind of pettiness, scrutiny, and grubby score-keeping that goes on in your office, I cannot say it is a place I would care to work. Middle and high school were bad enough the first time around, thanks.

I have to agree with TheBardess here.

Lynnv

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #42 on: January 07, 2013, 10:08:01 AM »
Bottom line...no more office treats.  Since it is a small office tallying isn't necessary, since he NEVER has brought in a single thing and it is painfully obvious to the other 3 people there. And I am above him in the office hierarchy and in a position to make office policy.  He doesn't perform any of my office duties, but I do have a direct influence on his raises and bonus'.  THE END.

That rates up there as one of the most unprofessional things I have seen.

Raises and bonuses dependant on bringing in treats and doing things out side of his job description?  When I believe you previously stated that he performs his job well? 

A workplace shouldn't be high school.  Nor should it be a popularity contest. If I were him, and I caught I whiff of what you think you can do, I'd be straight on the phone to an employment lawyer.

And as for how much money he does or doesn't have, it is absolutely none of your business what he chooses to do with the money he has earned.  For all you know he could be donating it all to a charity.  Or saving to pay cash for a house.  How dare you?

I absolutely agree with what pharmagal said. Every word.

OP, I'm going to be brutally honest here- this is one of the pettiest threads I have ever seen. You seem to be carrying an inordinate amount of anger towards your co-worker for not doing a completely voluntary action. Would it be nice if he occasionally brought in treats to the office? Sure. But he is under absolutely no obligation to do so. Bringing in goodies is a voluntary action. Nobody has to do it. It's a nice thing to do, and it would be nice if your co-worker reciprocated, but this is not something that is required or essential. It really doesn't matter why he doesn't do it. The fact is, he doesn't have to, for whatever reason he choose not to, and penalizing him for not doing something that is totally voluntary and not at all related to his work duties is petty, vindictive, and just plain wrong.

And as other posters have said- his financial affairs are none of your business. None. Frankly, if this is the kind of pettiness, scrutiny, and grubby score-keeping that goes on in your office, I cannot say it is a place I would care to work. Middle and high school were bad enough the first time around, thanks.

I agree as well.  If you have a problem with him professionally, then bring it up to him.  Don't save it up and blindside him at review/raise time.  If you are his supervisor, it is part of your job to let him know when he is not doing his and how he can do better.  Not helping your employees to improve and only counseling them by giving a bad review and a bad raise is a hallmark of an unprofessional and just plain bad supervisor, IMO. 

You said he doesn't offer to help with heavy lifting-ask him for help and let him know that, especially in a small office, he may sometimes need to help with things outside of his job description.  He doesn't let people know when supplies are out-tell him that it is part of his job and he needs to do so.  If he fails to help when help is asked for or fails to note when he uses the last of something after you have made clear it is part of his job, then it certainly fair to base part of your review on these things.

Counseling him on job issues is something that you should be doing on an ongoing basis and should be part of his review.  However, basing his raise and review on the fact that he fails to spend his own money on what you consider appropriate (treats for you) is petty, mean and wrong.  And I am with the PP who said that they are glad not to work in a place where this kind of pettiness is so ingrained that you think it is right to base his raise and review on it.
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IDriveADodgeStratus

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #43 on: January 07, 2013, 10:11:34 AM »
Bottom line...no more office treats.  Since it is a small office tallying isn't necessary, since he NEVER has brought in a single thing and it is painfully obvious to the other 3 people there. And I am above him in the office hierarchy and in a position to make office policy.  He doesn't perform any of my office duties, but I do have a direct influence on his raises and bonus'.  THE END.

That rates up there as one of the most unprofessional things I have seen.

Raises and bonuses dependant on bringing in treats and doing things out side of his job description?  When I believe you previously stated that he performs his job well? 

A workplace shouldn't be high school.  Nor should it be a popularity contest. If I were him, and I caught I whiff of what you think you can do, I'd be straight on the phone to an employment lawyer.

And as for how much money he does or doesn't have, it is absolutely none of your business what he chooses to do with the money he has earned.  For all you know he could be donating it all to a charity.  Or saving to pay cash for a house.  How dare you?

I absolutely agree with what pharmagal said. Every word.

OP, I'm going to be brutally honest here- this is one of the pettiest threads I have ever seen. You seem to be carrying an inordinate amount of anger towards your co-worker for not doing a completely voluntary action. Would it be nice if he occasionally brought in treats to the office? Sure. But he is under absolutely no obligation to do so. Bringing in goodies is a voluntary action. Nobody has to do it. It's a nice thing to do, and it would be nice if your co-worker reciprocated, but this is not something that is required or essential. It really doesn't matter why he doesn't do it. The fact is, he doesn't have to, for whatever reason he choose not to, and penalizing him for not doing something that is totally voluntary and not at all related to his work duties is petty, vindictive, and just plain wrong.

And as other posters have said- his financial affairs are none of your business. None. Frankly, if this is the kind of pettiness, scrutiny, and grubby score-keeping that goes on in your office, I cannot say it is a place I would care to work. Middle and high school were bad enough the first time around, thanks.

I'm just gonna agree with all this and follow it up with a slow clap.

oceanus

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Re: Stingy co-worker
« Reply #44 on: January 07, 2013, 10:14:43 AM »
The Bardess said:
Quote
[snip]OP, I'm going to be brutally honest here- this is one of the pettiest threads I have ever seen. You seem to be carrying an inordinate amount of anger towards your co-worker for not doing a completely voluntary action.[snip]

Yes indeed, and I’m wondering why OP even posted the thread. 

Situation reminds me of a job I had back in the day when people regularly went out together at lunch on Fridays and got drunk.  The supervisor went with them.  Well, I didn’t care what they did at lunch; I had no desire to join them.  I ran errands and did my own thing.  They also regularly socialized at each other’s houses, and I did attend once but it was all mean-spirited gossip and more drinking.  So once was enough for me.  These were unpleasant people, and I had no desire to bring them into my personal life.

I was really resented for that.  One co-worker even went to big boss and complained, but was told he would have to accept it.   I couldn’t wait to get out of that place.

Next time someone brings in treats (if that ever happens), the guy should immediately grab them all, eat a few, and take the rest to a homeless shelter.  ;)

Brownies and cookie policy.  Gimme a break.  ::)