Stingy co-worker

[yokozbornak]

Now I'm beginning to understand why he might not want to bring treats.

[oceanus]

Um hmm.  OP's attitude and remarks are revealing. 

[Redneck Gravy]

I work in a small office.  Sometimes one of us will bring in purchased goodies, enough so everyone gets one.  Said goodies are not cheap.  One person NEVER reciprocates.  He will always take one (or more), sometime say a quiet thanks (not always).  I find it rude that in 5 years he has never once brought in or given a single treat.  Treats are brought in about every other week.  Is it okay to bring in treats and distribute them to everyone else and leave him out?

If in the past five years if someone hasn't mentioned this to him I would find more fault with the staff than with the employee! 

Good gravy - doesn't anyone there mentor? 

[Girlie]

Can we keep medical diagnoses out of this?

Sorry, I wasn't trying to diagnose anyone. I was merely trying to offer the suggestion that there are sometimes reasons that we are unaware of (and that are none of our business) why someone doesn't act in a way that we determine as socially "acceptable."
No offense meant.

[EMuir]

I bring in treats to work but I have no expectation of others reciprocating.  Maybe the other three people in the office feel pressured to keep bringing in treats because there seems to be some expectation from the OP that everyone should?  In that case, maybe the "no treats" policy would be best for everyone after all.

[Red1979]

Rule #1 of gift giving:  You give a gift with no expectation of return.  (In this case the "treats").  If you can't give a gift without expecting something in return its no longer a gift, but a business transacation and you either need to not give the item or spell out all of the terms clearly.

Rule #1 of work:  You judge employees on their *work* performance.  Use any other personal criteria (like giving/not giving treats) and you are setting yourself and your entire company up for legal repercussions.  (Setting aside of course, the morality of docking someone the raise/bonus they've earned for petty non-work issues.)

[bbgirl]

Your post and attitude are both extremely petty and unbecoming of someone who says they are a professional.  It's much easier to look outward to nitpick the faults of others than it is to look inward at ourselves and diagnose what may be the root of the problem. 

Perhaps this coworker doesn't like to bring treats in to people who routinely judge him and look down on him and thereby is displaying the behaviors you've outlined. Maybe you're an unpleasant person to work under...based on your OP and follow up I can deduce that as the case.

Base his raises and bonuses on work related issues..and since you've said he performs those then rise above the pettiness and forget the rest.  To do otherwise is a big statement on who you are as a person, and frankly, I hope it's a lot nicer than what you've shown here.

[Moray]

Rule #1 of gift giving:  You give a gift with no expectation of return.  (In this case the "treats").  If you can't give a gift without expecting something in return its no longer a gift, but a business transacation and you either need to not give the item or spell out all of the terms clearly.

Rule #1 of work:  You judge employees on their *work* performance.  Use any other personal criteria (like giving/not giving treats) and you are setting yourself and your entire company up for legal repercussions.  (Setting aside of course, the morality of docking someone the raise/bonus they've earned for petty non-work issues.)

Well said!

OP, I strongly encourage you to rethink your proposed actions and the motivation behind them.

[cass2591]

OP, if this was on the level you quite likely weren't getting the answer you wanted. Thread locked.