General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

The Christmas party 'jab' (VERY long)

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June24:

--- Quote from: rashea on January 07, 2013, 03:30:05 PM ---
--- Quote from: oceanus on January 07, 2013, 12:18:00 PM ---Aaahhhh, I forgot to mention something in my initial post.  Sharon said that Katie has a habit of walking by her (Sharon’s desk) and grabbing a pen, post-it, candy, etc – whatever she wants or needs at that moment - and rarely even acknowledges Sharon.   She figured the only reason Katie even asked if she could have candy was because an outsider was with her.

So, the “Hello, btw” was meant as a reminder that’s it’s appropriate to be civil prior to grabbing something off a co-worker’s desk.  (I didn’t get the feeling that Sharon is territorial about her candy or that she uses it as a way to get people to talk to her.  Not at all.)

--- End quote ---

So, it was done to scold/teach her, and it was done in front of an outsider. Yeah, Sharon screwed up. If it bothered her that Katie didn't talk to her, she needed to address that privately. And then Katie was a snot right back. Now they need to drop it, and it doesn't sound like Sharon has. She needs to own that she was rude, and then move on. She doesn't need to be best friends, but she should be polite. I think Katie realized she went too far at the party and tried to improve things with the "nice outfit" comment.

--- End quote ---
I completely disagree. I think Sharon's comment was pretty mild in response to Katie's rudeness. It's not Sharon's job to help Katie save face in front of "outsiders". If Katie doesn't want to be reminded that it's appropriate to address people as human beings instead of treating them as candy and supply dispensers, maybe she should be more polite. Holding a grudge over a very mild comment and lashing out two weeks later was really ugly, and makes Katie look much, MUCH worse than Sharon. I think that being coldly polite and professional toward Katie is fine in the future. Katie needs to learn that if you lash out at people, you can't expect that to be completely forgotten the moment you compliment their outfit.

rashea:

--- Quote from: June24 on January 12, 2013, 11:42:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: rashea on January 07, 2013, 03:30:05 PM ---
--- Quote from: oceanus on January 07, 2013, 12:18:00 PM ---Aaahhhh, I forgot to mention something in my initial post.  Sharon said that Katie has a habit of walking by her (Sharon’s desk) and grabbing a pen, post-it, candy, etc – whatever she wants or needs at that moment - and rarely even acknowledges Sharon.   She figured the only reason Katie even asked if she could have candy was because an outsider was with her.

So, the “Hello, btw” was meant as a reminder that’s it’s appropriate to be civil prior to grabbing something off a co-worker’s desk.  (I didn’t get the feeling that Sharon is territorial about her candy or that she uses it as a way to get people to talk to her.  Not at all.)

--- End quote ---

So, it was done to scold/teach her, and it was done in front of an outsider. Yeah, Sharon screwed up. If it bothered her that Katie didn't talk to her, she needed to address that privately. And then Katie was a snot right back. Now they need to drop it, and it doesn't sound like Sharon has. She needs to own that she was rude, and then move on. She doesn't need to be best friends, but she should be polite. I think Katie realized she went too far at the party and tried to improve things with the "nice outfit" comment.

--- End quote ---
I completely disagree. I think Sharon's comment was pretty mild in response to Katie's rudeness. It's not Sharon's job to help Katie save face in front of "outsiders". If Katie doesn't want to be reminded that it's appropriate to address people as human beings instead of treating them as candy and supply dispensers, maybe she should be more polite. Holding a grudge over a very mild comment and lashing out two weeks later was really ugly, and makes Katie look much, MUCH worse than Sharon. I think that being coldly polite and professional toward Katie is fine in the future. Katie needs to learn that if you lash out at people, you can't expect that to be completely forgotten the moment you compliment their outfit.

--- End quote ---

No where did I say that Katie was appropriate. But, we know Sharon's intent was to scold. Katie's probably was. I don't disagree that Katie looks bad, but in the end I don't think it matters at this point. They need to both grow up and stop acting like preschoolers.

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