The Christmas party 'jab' (VERY long)

[Deetee]

I think they both sound immature and petty and grudge holding.

It sounds like one of those stories that kids would run tattling to their mom and mom says "I don't care who started it. You both play nicely or don't play together"

[TurtleDove]

I think they both sound immature and petty and grudge holding.

Agreed.  As I read this thread, I couldn't fathom what sort of career these two have where they would be so focused on office drama.  They both should have handled themselves differently.  They both should have simply ignored what they perceived as slights from the other.  If I were in management and heard about this I would find both silly and immature.

[Tabby Uprising]

I think they both sound immature and petty and grudge holding.

It sounds like one of those stories that kids would run tattling to their mom and mom says "I don't care who started it. You both play nicely or don't play together"

I really have to agree with you and Turtledove on this.  Sloppy etiquette on both sides.  Move on and leave it in the past. 

Also - why does it matter that Katie enjoys talking about hair/fashion and her never ending quest for Mr. Right?  Was that just to illustrate the women have different interests, aren't friends and don't otherwise socialize?  What does it matter if she talks about hair and fashion anymore than it would matter if she enjoyed talking about hedgehogs and popular mechanics?

[TootsNYC]

Since Sharon was the one who shared this info w/ the OP, I think this info clues us in the Sharon thinks Katie is immature, which would explain why Sharon thought it was her place to "teach Katie some manners" by correcting her about the whole "greet me first before you take my candy that I always put out and always share" thing.

So I'm glad it was there--it explains a lot.

Doesn't make Sharon right. But it explains why she thinks she was. Because, you know, SHE is a grownup, and Katie is flighty and immature.

[Tabby Uprising]

Since Sharon was the one who shared this info w/ the OP, I think this info clues us in the Sharon thinks Katie is immature, which would explain why Sharon thought it was her place to "teach Katie some manners" by correcting her about the whole "greet me first before you take my candy that I always put out and always share" thing.

So I'm glad it was there--it explains a lot.

Doesn't make Sharon right. But it explains why she thinks she was. Because, you know, SHE is a grownup, and Katie is flighty and immature.

Ahhh, thank you.  Makes sense!

[Roe]

Since Sharon was the one who shared this info w/ the OP, I think this info clues us in the Sharon thinks Katie is immature, which would explain why Sharon thought it was her place to "teach Katie some manners" by correcting her about the whole "greet me first before you take my candy that I always put out and always share" thing.

So I'm glad it was there--it explains a lot.

Doesn't make Sharon right. But it explains why she thinks she was. Because, you know, SHE is a grownup, and Katie is flighty and immature.

Yep!  And this is why, IME, Sharon "started it."  Yes, I know it doesn't matter who started it but in my opinion, Sharon doesn't get a free pass.  She's not able to shrug it off and act all innocent as if she doesn't know what Katie is referring to.

[Yvaine]

Katie absolutely DID give a "by your leave" (which means, specifically, "May I?")

She asked "can I have one?"

That's a "by your leave."

She just didn't say "Hi, Sharon," first.

It is pretty rude to walk up to someone and ask for something without even acknowledging their existence.

I think it depends on whether they'd already seen each other that day. I mean, in our office we'll say hi or good morning the first time we see someone during the day, but after that, if we see each other again, we might just launch right into what we're intending to talk about without another greeting ritual.

[kckgirl]

I think they both failed. Sharon sounded like she was scolding Katie. Katie was snide at the party. Both of them need to knock it off.

I agree with this.

[AngelBarchild]

I think they both sound immature and petty and grudge holding.

It sounds like one of those stories that kids would run tattling to their mom and mom says "I don't care who started it. You both play nicely or don't play together"

My thoughts exactly. It just seems like two people being snippy with each other. Kind of eye roll worthy really.

[Starchasm]

I don't think Sharon handled the initial instance perfectly, but I can see how something like that could just slip out if you were irritated someone already had their hand in your candy and "asked" for it before even saying hi. (I say "asked" because if she stuck her hand in first she clearly didn't expect to be told no).

Katie, on the other hand, held onto a one-time snarky comment for weeks and chose to whip out a barb at a party while surrounded by co-workers.

Yes, Sharon didn't act perfectly, but Katie had her response pre-planned and is holding a grudge.  I think Sharon said the right thing to the Office Manager.  Katie is looking very immature to me.

[June24]

Aaahhhh, I forgot to mention something in my initial post.  Sharon said that Katie has a habit of walking by her (Sharon’s desk) and grabbing a pen, post-it, candy, etc – whatever she wants or needs at that moment - and rarely even acknowledges Sharon.   She figured the only reason Katie even asked if she could have candy was because an outsider was with her.

So, the “Hello, btw” was meant as a reminder that’s it’s appropriate to be civil prior to grabbing something off a co-worker’s desk.  (I didn’t get the feeling that Sharon is territorial about her candy or that she uses it as a way to get people to talk to her.  Not at all.)

So, it was done to scold/teach her, and it was done in front of an outsider. Yeah, Sharon screwed up. If it bothered her that Katie didn't talk to her, she needed to address that privately. And then Katie was a snot right back. Now they need to drop it, and it doesn't sound like Sharon has. She needs to own that she was rude, and then move on. She doesn't need to be best friends, but she should be polite. I think Katie realized she went too far at the party and tried to improve things with the "nice outfit" comment.

I completely disagree. I think Sharon's comment was pretty mild in response to Katie's rudeness. It's not Sharon's job to help Katie save face in front of "outsiders". If Katie doesn't want to be reminded that it's appropriate to address people as human beings instead of treating them as candy and supply dispensers, maybe she should be more polite. Holding a grudge over a very mild comment and lashing out two weeks later was really ugly, and makes Katie look much, MUCH worse than Sharon. I think that being coldly polite and professional toward Katie is fine in the future. Katie needs to learn that if you lash out at people, you can't expect that to be completely forgotten the moment you compliment their outfit.

[rashea]

Aaahhhh, I forgot to mention something in my initial post.  Sharon said that Katie has a habit of walking by her (Sharon’s desk) and grabbing a pen, post-it, candy, etc – whatever she wants or needs at that moment - and rarely even acknowledges Sharon.   She figured the only reason Katie even asked if she could have candy was because an outsider was with her.

So, the “Hello, btw” was meant as a reminder that’s it’s appropriate to be civil prior to grabbing something off a co-worker’s desk.  (I didn’t get the feeling that Sharon is territorial about her candy or that she uses it as a way to get people to talk to her.  Not at all.)

So, it was done to scold/teach her, and it was done in front of an outsider. Yeah, Sharon screwed up. If it bothered her that Katie didn't talk to her, she needed to address that privately. And then Katie was a snot right back. Now they need to drop it, and it doesn't sound like Sharon has. She needs to own that she was rude, and then move on. She doesn't need to be best friends, but she should be polite. I think Katie realized she went too far at the party and tried to improve things with the "nice outfit" comment.

I completely disagree. I think Sharon's comment was pretty mild in response to Katie's rudeness. It's not Sharon's job to help Katie save face in front of "outsiders". If Katie doesn't want to be reminded that it's appropriate to address people as human beings instead of treating them as candy and supply dispensers, maybe she should be more polite. Holding a grudge over a very mild comment and lashing out two weeks later was really ugly, and makes Katie look much, MUCH worse than Sharon. I think that being coldly polite and professional toward Katie is fine in the future. Katie needs to learn that if you lash out at people, you can't expect that to be completely forgotten the moment you compliment their outfit.

No where did I say that Katie was appropriate. But, we know Sharon's intent was to scold. Katie's probably was. I don't disagree that Katie looks bad, but in the end I don't think it matters at this point. They need to both grow up and stop acting like preschoolers.