Author Topic: Please don't tickle me  (Read 5311 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #15 on: January 07, 2013, 10:59:07 PM »
I'm one that's extremely ticklish as well, and while I don't mind it as a consensual playful thing between myself and DH or myself and the kids, I always remind them "Leave the feet alone" because they're so sensitive that it hurts when they are tickled and my first reaction is to kick and I do NOT want to hurt them.

But me getting furious if they don't listen is enough to discourage them, but that's my kids not another adult.

I just don't tell people I'm ticklish and if someone tries I move.  I made the mistake once of mentioning I was ticklish and one woman used to sneak up on me and poke me in the sides while I was working. (she was the daughter of a woman in the nursing home) Letting out a high pitched "EEEK!" is not all that professional.  FWIW, the admission of being ticklish came up in conversation as she was telling a story. I asked her not to do it again and she didn't thankfully.

The last time I got tickled by someone I'm not related to was last year when a friend accidentally tickled me.  She was holding a shirt up to me to see if it would fit around me (I was pregnant) and her nails lightly got me in the sides, making me jump and squeak. Since she's not a tickler and doesn't like to be tickled, she was careful not to do it again from then on.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

CakeEater

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #16 on: January 07, 2013, 11:11:55 PM »
I don't even tickle my kids unless they ask me to. I find it bizarre that someone would tickle another adult who has expressed a dislike for this behaviour.

Get really angry. I think that's completely appropriate for this kind of situation.

Palladium

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #17 on: January 08, 2013, 12:13:24 AM »
I totally understand how you feel, I'm also extremely ticklish, and I did get ambushed by people several times in school, to the point where I couldn't breathe. I never really found a way of stopping it.

Now that I'm an adult I haven't found it to be much of a problem, most people seem to know that it's not appropriate to do that. The last person who tried it was an ex of my sister who just had to tickle me once he found out how sensitive I was. He came up behind me and went for my ribs, but unfortunately for him several years of martial arts training kicked in and I elbowed him hard in the gut (I swear it was instinctive and not intentional). But he never tried it again. >:D

Jeremy

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #18 on: January 08, 2013, 05:08:31 AM »
I totally understand how you feel, I'm also extremely ticklish, and I did get ambushed by people several times in school, to the point where I couldn't breathe. I never really found a way of stopping it.

Now that I'm an adult I haven't found it to be much of a problem, most people seem to know that it's not appropriate to do that. The last person who tried it was an ex of my sister who just had to tickle me once he found out how sensitive I was. He came up behind me and went for my ribs, but unfortunately for him several years of martial arts training kicked in and I elbowed him hard in the gut (I swear it was instinctive and not intentional). But he never tried it again. >:D

Not long after I started going out with my wife I learned the hard way never to do anything like that to her!  You could have heard her scream at the other end of the country, and the bruises to my ribs lasted for a couple of weeks.  :D  A good way to stop people doing this is to scream rather than laugh, then send them away with a flea in their ear.  When they see how annoyed you are it should convince them that they should keep their hands to themselves.  It worked on me!  ;D

Tini

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #19 on: January 08, 2013, 11:14:17 AM »
My best friend's ex used to do this thing where he tickled their little girl way too long to the point that she'd cry or nearly wee herself. Do I need to mention that he was a controlling person of uncertain parentage and a bully in many other ways? So glad he's her ex now.
I mean, what kind of guy humiliates their kid for fun?

cheyne

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #20 on: January 08, 2013, 11:57:59 AM »
How is this even a problem for an adult?  If your partner is tickling you, you tell them to stop and they don't, you have a partner problem not a tickling problem.  I don't understand where an adult would have another adult that is not an intimate partner tickling them.


MrTango

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2013, 12:02:38 PM »
How is this even a problem for an adult?  If your partner is tickling you, you tell them to stop and they don't, you have a partner problem not a tickling problem.  I don't understand where an adult would have another adult that is not an intimate partner tickling them.

Agreed.  If someone puts their hands on you without your consent, it's an assault, and therefore beyond the scope of etiquette/politeness.

Auntie Mame

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #22 on: January 08, 2013, 12:52:41 PM »
I hate, hate, hate HATE being tickled.  My skin is super sensitive and when someone tickled me it hurts, it hurts a lot.  When I was a child I used to get yelled at by my parents for screaming in pain when some jerk would think it was funny to tickle me.  I was being "over dramatic".  No, I was screaming for help because some jerk was hurting me.  I don't tickle my friend's kids, I have too many horrible memories of tickling to ever inflict that torture on a child.

Now I'm an adult and I make the rules about my body.  people who tickle me get one, and only one, very firm and very serious warning about they are never, EVER to do that again.  Period.  If they think it's funny to try and tickle me after I had my preferences clear, they get what they get and I will ask them "Now, will you respect my boundaries?" (thankfully very few people feel the need to push the no tickle rule since the people I am friends with are adults who respect boundaries". 

Don't be gentle with your initial warning.  You don't have to yell or curse, but don't smile or laugh it off either. Look people straight in the eyes and say firmly "Do not ever tickle me again, this is your warning".  I find people back off from tickling after that.
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Sophia

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #23 on: January 08, 2013, 01:47:52 PM »
I can't imagine one person walking up to another person and tickling them if it wasn't absolutely welcome.   It is such an intimate thing. 

I will tickle my 2-year-old, but even then I stop frequently.  Once every blue moon she will say "No", and I stop immediately. My husband's older sister thought it was great fun to tickle him until he pee'd on himself.  So, today, for some odd reason, he hates it.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #24 on: January 08, 2013, 06:48:59 PM »
I can't imagine tickling anyone I don't know well.  It does seem like a very familiar thing to do.  Basically if I wouldn't kiss a person on the cheek I wouldn't even consider tickling them.

The only adult I'll tickle is DH.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

gmatoy

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #25 on: January 08, 2013, 08:45:18 PM »
I was hit by a car as a child. Broke all the ribs on one side from the car hitting me. Broke all the ribs on the other side from me hitting the pavement. Touch my ribs and I go into serious protect myself at all costs defensive mode. It triggers pain receptors that I forget I even have.

Elfmama

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Re: Please don't tickle me
« Reply #26 on: January 08, 2013, 11:39:28 PM »
I don't even tickle my kids unless they ask me to. I find it bizarre that someone would tickle another adult who has expressed a dislike for this behaviour.

Get really angry. I think that's completely appropriate for this kind of situation.
That's what I had to do to DH.  He kept tickling me even when I asked him not to and told him that I hated it.  "But you laugh, so you must really enjoy it!" (That may be the reason that people don't believe the OP.)

One time he tickled me until I couldn't get any breath and passed out.  When I came to I went volcanic on him.  I think I may have said that I would leave him if he ever did it again, but since this was 35+ years in the past, I don't remember now. I DO remember a lot of in-his-face yelling.   :-[   But he never tickled me again.

Yes, get mad and/or smack someone 'involuntarily.'  They WERE warned, after all.
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