Would this be creepy?

[siamesecat2965]

BG: We lived in town A from the time I was almost 4, until I was 9, when we moved one town over, to town B  I still have friends from when we lived in town A, and am friends with them both in real life, and on Facebook.  I saw over the weekend, one of my friends from that group became friends with a woman, who I think was the daughter of our next door neighbors in Town A. She was in HS when we moved in, so quite a bit older, but I sent MY friend a message, asking if she was the person I thought she was, and she is. end BG

Would it be creepy to send her a message, just saying hi, and so on? I don't recall much, but I do remember her mom giving me her Nancy Drew books when I was about 6, which was my intro to them. Or if it were you, would you think it cool someone from the past was contacting you? If she doesn't respond, no biggie, but i've found, esp on FB, people are generally receptive to stuff like that.

[Morticia]

Nothing wrong with saying Hello, if her profile allows it. If it doesn't, that's all you need to know.

[bah12]

I don't think it's creepy.  Are you wanting to connect with her as friends or just send a message saying "Hi, I remember you!"?

I think sending her a friend request with a message that notes how you know her is just fine.  I also think it's fine, even absent a friend request, to send her a message and say hi and note your mutual connection and how it's a reminder that it's a small world.  I got a note like that once from someone who noticed a connection I had on FB and I didn't find it creepy at all.

[siamesecat2965]

I don't think it's creepy.  Are you wanting to connect with her as friends or just send a message saying "Hi, I remember you!"?

I think sending her a friend request with a message that notes how you know her is just fine.  I also think it's fine, even absent a friend request, to send her a message and say hi and note your mutual connection and how it's a reminder that it's a small world.  I got a note like that once from someone who noticed a connection I had on FB and I didn't find it creepy at all.

I was just planning on sending a message, like i said, due to the age difference we weren't exactly friends, but I did want to say hi, I remember you, isn't it a small world? if she wants to send me a friend request, i will certainly accept, but I wasn't planning on sending her one, just wanted  to do what you said above.

i figured I'd ask since I'm sure someone, somewhere, might find it weird. THe other funny thing I remember is that her brother drove an ice cream truck one summer, which, to a 6 or 7 year old, having the ice cream man next door was COOL.

[TootsNYC]

This is actually one of the things I like about Facebook.

I say send her a note. Mention the Nancy Drew books.

It's what happens AFTER this "hello" that determines whether it's creepy.

[siamesecat2965]

This is actually one of the things I like about Facebook.

I say send her a note. Mention the Nancy Drew books.

It's what happens AFTER this "hello" that determines whether it's creepy.

Good point! I'm totally ok if she chooses not to respond. when I have some time, I'll put together my message.

[SheltieMom]

I had the same thing happen not too long ago. When I was a kid, my family used to reserve the local high school gym occasionally and get together and play volleyball or basketball. My mother's youngest sister had a SIL my age and we got to be good friends. When my aunt and the friend's brother divorced, and then he passed away at a very young age, I lost contact with her. A couple of months ago, I noticed a comment from someone with the same name on one of my cousin's status (Cousin is on my dad's side, no relation to the aunt and uncle). I checked her friends list, and found my aunt's granddaughter, so I figured it had to be the same person. I sent her a message and a friend request, and she was as delighted as I was to catch up with each other.

[Penguin_ar]

It's fine, but keep the first message short, just explaining who you are and a couple of sentences of an update.  If she responds, you can start telling her stories from back then or asking questions etc.

[Sign Of The Times]

"It's fine, but keep the first message short, just explaining who you are and a couple of sentences of an update.  If she responds, you can start telling her stories from back then or asking questions etc."

Exactly what the Penguin said. (I'm not sure how to quote whole posts.)

[pinkiu]

I have a different perspective. If this was someone who really wasn't a friend in real life, why try to connect? I actually find it odd when people I really was not friends with 20 or 30 years ago friend me. Recently, one woman friended me because she used to ride the school bus with me. We were not friends, only acquaintances. Instead of accepting her friending, I first had to ask who she was and how I knew her. I just don't get why you would want someone who you don't know now to have access to your posts and who you are now? 

[Sign Of The Times]

I have a different perspective. If this was someone who really wasn't a friend in real life, why try to connect? I actually find it odd when people I really was not friends with 20 or 30 years ago friend me. Recently, one woman friended me because she used to ride the school bus with me. We were not friends, only acquaintances. Instead of accepting her friending, I first had to ask who she was and how I knew her. I just don't get why you would want someone who you don't know now to have access to your posts and who you are now?

Objectively, some of that is just FB logic. If SchoolBusFriend and you have enough mutual friends, FB pops up the suggestion on your page and also hers. She may click because she remembers you, but not because she actively tried to seek you out. Not necessarily a reason to accept the request, I realize.

And yay, I can quote!

[Mad Goat Woman]

I don't think it'd be creepy at all-- I found one of my best friends from childhood on facebook, PM'd her to ask if she was the same person I remembered, and our friendship picked up again afterwards.

[NotTheNarcissist]

OP did you do this? I was wondering how it turned out. I recently attempted something very similar & the person was happy to reconnect with me. Hope yours was also positive.