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Outsiders latching onto inside jokes *clarification post #68*

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LazyDaisy:
I agree too. If it bothers someone that an inside joke may be picked up by an "outsider" it is up to the "insiders" to not bring it up in front of them. I think it's similar to talking about a party that someone else isn't invited to but would have a reasonable expectation for one.

For a polite response after the fact, how about privately telling Mary that the phrase has special significance for Sue and Sally and it's not just a silly new catch phrase. I think when people hear the word "joke" the general assumption tends to be that jokes are for sharing in and the more the merrier.

Iris:

--- Quote from: CluelessBride on January 07, 2013, 05:56:15 PM ---I could imagine a situation where butting in on an inside joke would seem off, but this isn't really one of them for me.

Sue and Sally have introduced a new word into their vocabulary. They use it in front of Mary. Now Mary picks up on the word and starts to use it. Maybe it spreads, maybe it doesn't, but I think that's part of the evolution of language.

If anything, Sue and Sally are being a little clique-ish by rubbing their inside joke in Mary's face.

--- End quote ---

This. If Sue and Sally don't want other people to pick up on their saying, they shouldn't use it in front of others. Having a 'special secret phrase just for us' seems very middle school.

sweetonsno:

--- Quote from: DottyG on January 07, 2013, 06:04:49 PM ---
--- Quote ---If anything, Sue and Sally are being a little clique-ish by rubbing their inside joke in Mary's face.
--- End quote ---

That's what I've been wanting to say but wasn't sure how to put it.  I agree.

--- End quote ---

Amen.

This also reminded me a bit about the recent post about PDAs. While an inside joke (or physical affection) can be a great way to bond, it's impolite to do so in a way that excludes or alienates other people.

I also agree with LazyDaisy. If you want a joke to be kept private (or unique to a particular relationship), then don't pull it out in front of others.

WillyNilly:

--- Quote from: CluelessBride on January 07, 2013, 05:56:15 PM ---I could imagine a situation where butting in on an inside joke would seem off, but this isn't really one of them for me.

Sue and Sally have introduced a new word into their vocabulary. They use it in front of Mary. Now Mary picks up on the word and starts to use it. Maybe it spreads, maybe it doesn't, but I think that's part of the evolution of language.

If anything, Sue and Sally are being a little clique-ish by rubbing their inside joke in Mary's face.

--- End quote ---

Either Sue and Sally were using this expression in front of Mary to invite her in (and so should now be happy its caught on) or they were doing an exclusionary and clique-ish thing in front of those not invited (and therefore deserve to be annoyed and maybe learn the lesson being mean never pays off). Really there's no place in the scenario for people to think Mary is in the wrong.

jpcher:

--- Quote from: LazyDaisy on January 07, 2013, 06:22:29 PM ---I agree too. If it bothers someone that an inside joke may be picked up by an "outsider" it is up to the "insiders" to not bring it up in front of them. I think it's similar to talking about a party that someone else isn't invited to but would have a reasonable expectation for one.

For a polite response after the fact, how about privately telling Mary that the phrase has special significance for Sue and Sally and it's not just a silly new catch phrase. I think when people hear the word "joke" the general assumption tends to be that jokes are for sharing in and the more the merrier.

--- End quote ---

I read this thread earlier and couldn't figure out what bothered me about Sue and Sally . . . LazyDaisy said my thoughts very nicely.

I picture Sue and Sally saying the phrase and giggling amongst themselves . . . kinda like a secret code. Which would be very rude for them to do.



(3 posts while I'm typing -- I'm agreeing with all.)

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