General Etiquette > Life...in general

Is there any way for me to ask for the sofa back?

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sourwolf:
I moved into my apartment just about a year ago.  I've got a month to month lease and am hoping to be moving again soon.

When I moved in I discovered that the larger part of my sectional sofa wouldn't fit through the front door of my apartment.

While my friend and I were discussing what to do with it (my only two options were get a storage unit, which after an expensive move wasn't really an option, or find someplace to get rid of it) my realtor/apartment manager overheard us and asked if I was getting rid of the sofa.  I said I might be because it wouldn't fit in the apartment.  She asked me what I was asking for it and I jokingly replied that it would be free to a good home.  She said she'd love to have it for her office because she occasionally spends the night there.  I really didn't want to throw it out, so I agreed that she could have it.

Now obviously once a gift is given it's rude to ask for it back.  And yes, if I had gotten rid of it through Craigslist or something I'd have no way of getting it back.

But, would it be rude to ask if I could buy her a replacement sofa? (I'd have it delivered too)
We've got a couple of really nice thrift shops nearby and I'm sure I'd be able to find something comparable.

DavidH:
I think it's kind of rude to ask for it back, particularly if she's using it.  I undersand the reasoning, but if you can afford to buy her a sofa, I think you should just go ahead and buy one for you.  If you knew she was getting rid of it anyway, then it might be okay to ask what she was planning on doing with it. 

I may be odd, but I would be wary of upolstered furniture from a thrift shop that I didn't know the origin of since it's kind of hard to clean.  Clothing or dishes that I can wash are another matter. 

citadelle:
If I were the office manager, I would feel offended and put on the spot if I was asked to give up the sofa, and very uncomfortable if the purchase of a new one were offered.

sourwolf:

--- Quote from: DavidH on January 07, 2013, 08:07:32 PM ---I think it's kind of rude to ask for it back, particularly if she's using it.  I undersand the reasoning, but if you can afford to buy her a sofa, I think you should just go ahead and buy one for you.  If you knew she was getting rid of it anyway, then it might be okay to ask what she was planning on doing with it. 

I may be odd, but I would be wary of upolstered furniture from a thrift shop that I didn't know the origin of since it's kind of hard to clean.  Clothing or dishes that I can wash are another matter.

--- End quote ---

It's not the money, it's the fact that right now I've only got the lounge part of the sectional, (open at one end) so it would be nice to be able to have a "whole" sofa again.

AnnaJ:
I think if you had 'lent' it to her you could, but you gave her the sofa so really no reasonable way to ask for it back.

Assuming she likes it, offering to replace it with a different sofa from a thrift store (yes, I'm a thrift store fan but not of upholstered furniture) would be unreasonable. 

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