Is there any way for me to ask for the sofa back?

[sourwolf]

I moved into my apartment just about a year ago.  I've got a month to month lease and am hoping to be moving again soon.

When I moved in I discovered that the larger part of my sectional sofa wouldn't fit through the front door of my apartment.

While my friend and I were discussing what to do with it (my only two options were get a storage unit, which after an expensive move wasn't really an option, or find someplace to get rid of it) my realtor/apartment manager overheard us and asked if I was getting rid of the sofa.  I said I might be because it wouldn't fit in the apartment.  She asked me what I was asking for it and I jokingly replied that it would be free to a good home.  She said she'd love to have it for her office because she occasionally spends the night there.  I really didn't want to throw it out, so I agreed that she could have it.

Now obviously once a gift is given it's rude to ask for it back.  And yes, if I had gotten rid of it through Craigslist or something I'd have no way of getting it back.

But, would it be rude to ask if I could buy her a replacement sofa? (I'd have it delivered too)
We've got a couple of really nice thrift shops nearby and I'm sure I'd be able to find something comparable.

[DavidH]

I think it's kind of rude to ask for it back, particularly if she's using it.  I undersand the reasoning, but if you can afford to buy her a sofa, I think you should just go ahead and buy one for you.  If you knew she was getting rid of it anyway, then it might be okay to ask what she was planning on doing with it. 

I may be odd, but I would be wary of upolstered furniture from a thrift shop that I didn't know the origin of since it's kind of hard to clean.  Clothing or dishes that I can wash are another matter. 

[citadelle]

If I were the office manager, I would feel offended and put on the spot if I was asked to give up the sofa, and very uncomfortable if the purchase of a new one were offered.

[sourwolf]

I think it's kind of rude to ask for it back, particularly if she's using it.  I undersand the reasoning, but if you can afford to buy her a sofa, I think you should just go ahead and buy one for you.  If you knew she was getting rid of it anyway, then it might be okay to ask what she was planning on doing with it. 

I may be odd, but I would be wary of upolstered furniture from a thrift shop that I didn't know the origin of since it's kind of hard to clean.  Clothing or dishes that I can wash are another matter.

It's not the money, it's the fact that right now I've only got the lounge part of the sectional, (open at one end) so it would be nice to be able to have a "whole" sofa again.

[AnnaJ]

I think if you had 'lent' it to her you could, but you gave her the sofa so really no reasonable way to ask for it back.

Assuming she likes it, offering to replace it with a different sofa from a thrift store (yes, I'm a thrift store fan but not of upholstered furniture) would be unreasonable. 

[oceanus]

(Hindsight 20/20:  You should have agreed on a price and sold it to her.)

You GAVE it to her.  It's hers now.

Sell/give, it's no longer yours. 

[dawbs]

I'm in the 'I don't do upholstered thrift store furniture' camp myself (I'll do 2nd hand furniture if I think the person seems clean enough to not skeeve me out and trustworthy , but thrifting is a different ball of wax)

I'd say that I'd think you're kinda outta luck on this one.

[katycoo]

No, you can't ask for it back.

What you could do, is offer the other part to the manager.  If you explain that now you have more space, it seems silly to have hald a sofa so you're getting a new one - would she like the other half too?

You never know - she may just offer it back opening the doorway to offering her a replacement sofa.

[bloo]

You know it sounds reasonable to me only in the sense that you still have part of the sectional. So maybe she wouldn't be offended as to that part of it (thrift store replacement? Not so much).

But I would still demur, because every. single. instance. I've heard of where someone has asked/offered to buy back something, it ended up leaving a bad taste in the receiver's mouth afterward.

[sourwolf]

No, you can't ask for it back.

What you could do, is offer the other part to the manager.  If you explain that now you have more space, it seems silly to have hald a sofa so you're getting a new one - would she like the other half too?

You never know - she may just offer it back opening the doorway to offering her a replacement sofa.

Yes but with my luck she'd take me up on it and I'd have no sofa!

[katycoo]

No, you can't ask for it back.

What you could do, is offer the other part to the manager.  If you explain that now you have more space, it seems silly to have hald a sofa so you're getting a new one - would she like the other half too?

You never know - she may just offer it back opening the doorway to offering her a replacement sofa.

Yes but with my luck she'd take me up on it and I'd have no sofa!

Yes - the downside being that you'd have to be prepared to lose the lot. 

That said, my personal OCD would rather the sofa be together than me only have half of it.  In that instance I'd just get a whole new set.  Assuming I could afford to do so.

[CluelessBride]

I don't think you can ask for it back, but I do think you could ask (politely and ask, not demand) for the right of first refusal if she decides to get rid of it in the future.

[AuntyEm]

No, you gave it away and at the time, she did you a favor by taking it.  I think you should plan to buy a new sofa and offer the rest of the sectional to her before you get rid of it.  You could luck out and find that she no longer wants your old one.

[sourwolf]

No, you gave it away and at the time, she did you a favor by taking it.  I think you should plan to buy a new sofa and offer the rest of the sectional to her before you get rid of it.  You could luck out and find that she no longer wants your old one.

Thanks but this isn't going to happen.  I'm the opposite of katycoo, I'd rather have half a sofa than no sofa.

[thedudeabides]

Sorry, nope, sounds like it's a half-sofa for you for now.  I do like the idea of asking for first right of refusal if she decides to trade up, though.