Picky Eaters (S/O from Snow Flake thread)

[Micah]

I have a picky eater, well two really. There is a very limited amount of things my son will eat. He's always been like it. Getting him onto solids when he was a toddler was a nightmare. I've done everything 'right' so to speak, never cooked an entirely separate meal, he's always had to at least try things before he screws up his nose, etc..... He's still shockingly picky and if he doesn't want to eat, he just won't. No threats or bribes of desert, going to bed hungry or loss of tv time will work.

He recently had a sleep over at a friends house. I think the mother thought I pandered to him a bit. She's also heard me lamenting about how tiny he is, so I think she decided in her head that she was going to get him to eat. She rang me at about eight o'clock to apologise because son had gone to bed after eating two bites of a sausage roll for tea. She was astounded. She said, "he ate two bites and then said he didn't like it. He asked politely for something else & when I said no, he just nodded and wandered off! I offered him an ice cream if he ate more, I told him I'd turn the tv off, I said he wouldn't be able to swim in the pool tomorrow & he knew I meant it, nothing worked!" I was roaring with laughter at this point. I said, "I did warn you. If he don't wanna eat, he aint gunna!"

It's very frustrating and his father is very much the same. They're both identical builds too. Muscly and fit as all get out, but without an ounce of spare flesh.

[Cami]

I have a picky eater, well two really. There is a very limited amount of things my son will eat. He's always been like it. Getting him onto solids when he was a toddler was a nightmare. I've done everything 'right' so to speak, never cooked an entirely separate meal, he's always had to at least try things before he screws up his nose, etc..... He's still shockingly picky and if he doesn't want to eat, he just won't. No threats or bribes of desert, going to bed hungry or loss of tv time will work.

He recently had a sleep over at a friends house. I think the mother thought I pandered to him a bit. She's also heard me lamenting about how tiny he is, so I think she decided in her head that she was going to get him to eat. She rang me at about eight o'clock to apologise because son had gone to bed after eating two bites of a sausage roll for tea. She was astounded. She said, "he ate two bites and then said he didn't like it. He asked politely for something else & when I said no, he just nodded and wandered off! I offered him an ice cream if he ate more, I told him I'd turn the tv off, I said he wouldn't be able to swim in the pool tomorrow & he knew I meant it, nothing worked!" I was roaring with laughter at this point. I said, "I did warn you. If he don't wanna eat, he aint gunna!"

It's very frustrating and his father is very much the same. They're both identical builds too. Muscly and fit as all get out, but without an ounce of spare flesh.

That describes my daughter. There was no incentive or punishment that would work and people never NEVER believed us when we said that. They were always SO sure that we were either lying or were at fault because we were "coddling" her or "spoiling" her or not exposing her to the "right" foods. And then they'd have an experience with her and be utterly shocked!

I am shocked by the number of people I meet DAILY who ascribe to the notion that their experiences are universal and that if you are describing something different you must be lying.

[CakeEater]

I have a picky eater, well two really. There is a very limited amount of things my son will eat. He's always been like it. Getting him onto solids when he was a toddler was a nightmare. I've done everything 'right' so to speak, never cooked an entirely separate meal, he's always had to at least try things before he screws up his nose, etc..... He's still shockingly picky and if he doesn't want to eat, he just won't. No threats or bribes of desert, going to bed hungry or loss of tv time will work.

He recently had a sleep over at a friends house. I think the mother thought I pandered to him a bit. She's also heard me lamenting about how tiny he is, so I think she decided in her head that she was going to get him to eat. She rang me at about eight o'clock to apologise because son had gone to bed after eating two bites of a sausage roll for tea. She was astounded. She said, "he ate two bites and then said he didn't like it. He asked politely for something else & when I said no, he just nodded and wandered off! I offered him an ice cream if he ate more, I told him I'd turn the tv off, I said he wouldn't be able to swim in the pool tomorrow & he knew I meant it, nothing worked!" I was roaring with laughter at this point. I said, "I did warn you. If he don't wanna eat, he aint gunna!"

It's very frustrating and his father is very much the same. They're both identical builds too. Muscly and fit as all get out, but without an ounce of spare flesh.

I had a friend who thought something similar about me, I think, with similar results.

I consider myself very lucky that my little picky eater is slowly improving, but I'm very understanding about other people with picky kids now.

[DollyPond]

don't like eating cereal with milk - I don't like the texture of cereal that starts out crunchy, but ends up soggy. I can snack on a lot of cereals dry, but not with milk. Although I like porridge - I guess it's because it starts out soggy, so I don't mind. Weird, I know.

Try Crispix with milk.  It is the only cereal I will eat with milk because of this same sogginess issue.  Crispix will stay crispy.

[cheyne]

I was never a picky eater.  We ate what was on the table and that was it, there wasn't a huge selection in the pantry/fridge.  I started cooking for the family at 8, as my mother was in nursing school and dad worked full time.  I would make the meals that my mom had planned and taught me how to make, but it never seemed like there was enough.

When I was 10 my mother graduated and got a job as an RN.  We started shopping in the local Mexican food market at about the same time.  Talk about Heaven!  I learned to make all sorts of tasty (and cheap) Mexican dishes that were so filling.  My father learned to stop being a "meat and potatoes" man, and my love all of things HOT and spicy was born.

My DH is a "meat and potatoes" man, so I serve him what he likes and cook the rest of the meal with extra ingredients, spices & whatever. 

The only foods I can't eat are (cooked) spinach and iceberg lettuce.  Both taste completely like dirt to me.  (And as a farmer, I've eaten a lot of dirt!)

[Dazi]

My niece also had a texture issue; her doctor said it was sensory sensitivity. So all her foods had to be separate on her plate when she was little and she couldn't mix the foods on her fork - just one food at a time. She's better now but does have some dietary restrictions. Has anyone else had experience with sensory sensitivity?

Me again!  I think I've posted on this before somewhere on here.  There are certain foods I cannot eat because the texture I find off (raisins are the BIG one, peas are another).  Though I don't always, I prefer to use divided plates.  I don't like my food to touch and I don't like juices to run into the other foods on my plate.  I eat one thing at a time until it is gone and usually eat it in order on the plate (direction doesn't matter, but once I pick one, I stick to it).  I don't mind foods that are supposed to be touching like chili, spaghetti, mixed salads.  On the other side if I have grilled chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans, nothing can touch or run together.

Two exceptions to this are Chicken korma as long as it doesn't have extra whole raisins on top and any strongly spiced curry with fresh peas.

[mj]

Picky eating seems to be about perspective, a lot of what is posted isn't necessarily picky to me.  I tend to think of picky eaters as those who have a won't eat list longer than a will eat list.

DHs FOO thinks of me as picky, which is funny because I think they are picky.  Before my medical stuff that required a strict diet change, I could pretty much eat anything but had a couple of limitations.  The quality of the food is my main focus.  So for example, I love fried chicken but won't eat it from a fast food place because the quality is poor.  I love all seafood, but can tell if the fish had previously been frozen.  I'll eat pretty much any type of food from all over the world, but again, the quality has to be good.  I could eat most dairy, but drinking milk straight is one thing I just can't do, that's about the only food I can label as gross -- even though I'll cook with it.

While my husband and his family can eat just about anywhere fast food or buy frozen meat, but they won't eat any type of seafood beyond shrimp.  They also will only eat mainstream American midwest type food.  Going to a Chinese restaurant is a huge deal.

[Venus193]

My friend Blanche accuses me of being picky because I insist that my food not be at room temperature.  She eats everything at room temperature because of sensitive teeth, but when I told her that I sent something back because it wasn't piping hot she thought I was being a picky Special Snowflake.  Of course when someone says the word "calamari" in front of her she always says "I never eat anything with suckers.  It's something I live by."

The third time I heard her say that I called her on how that sounded like a bid for attention.  I haven't heard it since.

[Bluenomi]

DD is a fussy eater but mostly for me  At home there are only 2 vegies she'll eat, corn and brocolli. She will eat more variety at daycare mostly due to peer pressure I suspect. We try her on other things but she either refuses to try or spits it out. It's mostly a power issue I suspect but isn't everything with a 2 year old?

I've been told many a time at you have to offer a child something 10 times before they will eat it but they always will. I can tell you for a fact this is a lie. There are things DD has been offer 30-40 times and she still won't eat them.

[Emmy]

I have a picky eater, well two really. There is a very limited amount of things my son will eat. He's always been like it. Getting him onto solids when he was a toddler was a nightmare. I've done everything 'right' so to speak, never cooked an entirely separate meal, he's always had to at least try things before he screws up his nose, etc..... He's still shockingly picky and if he doesn't want to eat, he just won't. No threats or bribes of desert, going to bed hungry or loss of tv time will work.

He recently had a sleep over at a friends house. I think the mother thought I pandered to him a bit. She's also heard me lamenting about how tiny he is, so I think she decided in her head that she was going to get him to eat. She rang me at about eight o'clock to apologise because son had gone to bed after eating two bites of a sausage roll for tea. She was astounded. She said, "he ate two bites and then said he didn't like it. He asked politely for something else & when I said no, he just nodded and wandered off! I offered him an ice cream if he ate more, I told him I'd turn the tv off, I said he wouldn't be able to swim in the pool tomorrow & he knew I meant it, nothing worked!" I was roaring with laughter at this point. I said, "I did warn you. If he don't wanna eat, he aint gunna!"

It's very frustrating and his father is very much the same. They're both identical builds too. Muscly and fit as all get out, but without an ounce of spare flesh.

That describes my daughter. There was no incentive or punishment that would work and people never NEVER believed us when we said that. They were always SO sure that we were either lying or were at fault because we were "coddling" her or "spoiling" her or not exposing her to the "right" foods. And then they'd have an experience with her and be utterly shocked!

I am shocked by the number of people I meet DAILY who ascribe to the notion that their experiences are universal and that if you are describing something different you must be lying.

That's why I hate when people put the blame for picky kids only on the parents.  Usually these people are non-parents or parents without a picky kid.  Kids are not robots and have their own tastes and temperaments and the stubborn ones who are determined not to eat will not eat even when their parents do the 'right' things.

DD is sometimes picky about shapes.  She had tried Goldfish shaped pretzels and didn't like them.  I had an appointment and dropped her off with a sitter and the sitter said she loved pretzels that were in the shape of a thin rod.  DD likes cheddar Goldfish, go figure.

[secretrebel]

There was a thread on eHell about a child who was made a PBJ by their aunt and didn't like it because it was brown bread not white bread and crunchy peanut butter and a flavour of jam/jelly they didn't like. (I may have got some details wrong)

I remember opinion being really divided in the thread over whether this was a reasonable expectation. A lot of people seemed to feel the tastes/textures were so different it was reasonable. But to me that was being extremely picky. while I think that children (and adults) can ask for or make their own preferred food, as a guest you should accept the local norm unless you have a dietary restriction that could cause you harm or upset.

[nayberry]

There was a thread on eHell about a child who was made a PBJ by their aunt and didn't like it because it was brown bread not white bread and crunchy peanut butter and a flavour of jam/jelly they didn't like. (I may have got some details wrong)

I remember opinion being really divided in the thread over whether this was a reasonable expectation. A lot of people seemed to feel the tastes/textures were so different it was reasonable. But to me that was being extremely picky. while I think that children (and adults) can ask for or make their own preferred food, as a guest you should accept the local norm unless you have a dietary restriction that could cause you harm or upset.

to me the taste and texture would be important (although i will not eat PB )  if the child liked smooth pb and strawberry jam/jelly and was given crunchy with lime jam/jelly thats a complete change imo


i'm a slightly picky eater in that i cannot stand raw tomatoes or slices of it on food, but i don't mind it in sauces,  i won't eat nuts (texture), but i like the taste of almonds (marzipan etc)  hate the smell and taste of coconut,   so don't eat a lot of thai food,  but i'll eat most veg & meat, even trying some more "exotic" ones such as ostrich, lovely rich flavour for a burger)

whereas i'm working on my husband, he is very fussy but i've gradually gotten him eating more veg and a wider variety, such as sweetcorn & asparagus, but he will not even try cauliflower, more cauli cheese for me

[Hmmmmm]

There was a thread on eHell about a child who was made a PBJ by their aunt and didn't like it because it was brown bread not white bread and crunchy peanut butter and a flavour of jam/jelly they didn't like. (I may have got some details wrong)

I remember opinion being really divided in the thread over whether this was a reasonable expectation. A lot of people seemed to feel the tastes/textures were so different it was reasonable. But to me that was being extremely picky. while I think that children (and adults) can ask for or make their own preferred food, as a guest you should accept the local norm unless you have a dietary restriction that could cause you harm or upset.

I don't remember this post, but I would say most kids under the age of say around 6 would have an issue with the above scenario.  Most people always serve PBJ one way and it can even be the "good, mom's not making me try something knew" safe haven lunch for this kid.  And instead getting whole wheat versus white, smooth versus crunchy, and a jam versus a smooth jelly would cause most kids to not even recognize the sandwhich.  When my kid's friends visited PBJ, was the one thing I always asked how they liked. Well, PBJ and burgers.  It's like putting mayonaise and ketchup on a hamburger for someone who doesn't like ketchup and mayonaise on burgers.  They aren't picky eaters they've just learned how they prefer their burgers.

I remember my mom telling a story about my sister's new 4 yr old step son and scrambled eggs.  They were up earlier than anyone else and mom offered to make eggs.  Mom's new step grandson sat at the counter as she was preparing them and when mom didn't add milk to the eggs when whipping them he became very upset and wouldn't eat the eggs.  They weren't like his Dad made.  This child even at that age would eat anything.  Not a picky eater, but don't mess with his normal eggs.

[stitchygreyanonymouse]

I have a picky eater, well two really. There is a very limited amount of things my son will eat. He's always been like it. Getting him onto solids when he was a toddler was a nightmare. I've done everything 'right' so to speak, never cooked an entirely separate meal, he's always had to at least try things before he screws up his nose, etc..... He's still shockingly picky and if he doesn't want to eat, he just won't. No threats or bribes of desert, going to bed hungry or loss of tv time will work.

He recently had a sleep over at a friends house. I think the mother thought I pandered to him a bit. She's also heard me lamenting about how tiny he is, so I think she decided in her head that she was going to get him to eat. She rang me at about eight o'clock to apologise because son had gone to bed after eating two bites of a sausage roll for tea. She was astounded. She said, "he ate two bites and then said he didn't like it. He asked politely for something else & when I said no, he just nodded and wandered off! I offered him an ice cream if he ate more, I told him I'd turn the tv off, I said he wouldn't be able to swim in the pool tomorrow & he knew I meant it, nothing worked!" I was roaring with laughter at this point. I said, "I did warn you. If he don't wanna eat, he aint gunna!"

It's very frustrating and his father is very much the same. They're both identical builds too. Muscly and fit as all get out, but without an ounce of spare flesh.

That describes my daughter. There was no incentive or punishment that would work and people never NEVER believed us when we said that. They were always SO sure that we were either lying or were at fault because we were "coddling" her or "spoiling" her or not exposing her to the "right" foods. And then they'd have an experience with her and be utterly shocked!

I am shocked by the number of people I meet DAILY who ascribe to the notion that their experiences are universal and that if you are describing something different you must be lying.

That's why I hate when people put the blame for picky kids only on the parents.  Usually these people are non-parents or parents without a picky kid.  Kids are not robots and have their own tastes and temperaments and the stubborn ones who are determined not to eat will not eat even when their parents do the 'right' things.

DD is sometimes picky about shapes.  She had tried Goldfish shaped pretzels and didn't like them.  I had an appointment and dropped her off with a sitter and the sitter said she loved pretzels that were in the shape of a thin rod.  DD likes cheddar Goldfish, go figure.

I can see your daughter’s side of that—particularly if she is pretty young. She sees the goldfish shape, assumes it’s the cheddar ones she likes (either because she is to young to really understand the different texture, or doesn’t know they make non-cheddar ones), and can’t get past the fact that it’s not what she expected. Even if she likes pretzels normally, in the moments leading up to eating the goldfish one, she was expecting cheddar and may be excited about it, then when her expectations aren’t met, she’s upset and not willing to eat something she normally likes, because she got excited over cheddar goldfish.

Or maybe that’s just me. Sometimes I get in the mood for certain things, and something slightly different will put me off eating that thing all together at that specific time—even if I normally like that thing that is slightly different.

[siamesecat2965]

There was a thread on eHell about a child who was made a PBJ by their aunt and didn't like it because it was brown bread not white bread and crunchy peanut butter and a flavour of jam/jelly they didn't like. (I may have got some details wrong)

I remember opinion being really divided in the thread over whether this was a reasonable expectation. A lot of people seemed to feel the tastes/textures were so different it was reasonable. But to me that was being extremely picky. while I think that children (and adults) can ask for or make their own preferred food, as a guest you should accept the local norm unless you have a dietary restriction that could cause you harm or upset.

I'm ashamed to say I did this once. With my grandparents!  We were visiting my dad's parents, who lived 3000 miles away on the other side of the country. Now my mom was not a good cook, so she didn't make much of an effort. Her mac and cheese was simply boiled mac, and then you put sllices of cheddar on it, stuck it in the oven, and that was that. To this day, and I'm 47, that's the ONLY mac and cheese I'll eat. Only I use shredded cheese. Just thinking about how its traditionally made, with a creamy cheese sauce, makes me gag. due to my aversion to anything warm and creamy, like i described upthread.

So we're there, and my trandmother made this mac and cheese, the "traditional" way, and sprinkled bread crumbs on top, which browned nicely. I threw a hissy fit and refused to eat it. I was 9 too! Something else must have been going on since I normally didn't do that, but I did. And refused to eat it. I don't recall what happened but my parents were NOT amused at all. Neither were the grandparents.

I'm also still like that with certain things; if it doens't look the way I'm used to, or prepared the way I like, I can't eat it. But as an adult, I just politely decline, and leave my "issues" out of it.