Picky Eaters (S/O from Snow Flake thread)

[Hmmmmm]

Agree with the PP.  Your DD is associating shape with taste.  She might have a heightened visual since.  Be prepared for only liking certain pasta shapes, baby carrots versus standard size, apples needing to be cut into cubes versus quarters, and sandwhiches having to be cut a certain way. My DD would complain food didn't taste the same if it wasn't shaped correctly.  Her brain is preparing her taste buds on what to expect.  Think of it like thinking you've been served ice tea and it looks like iced tea put when you take a drink it is a soda.  I love soda but not when I'm expecting iced tea.

[bloo]

There was a thread on eHell about a child who was made a PBJ by their aunt and didn't like it because it was brown bread not white bread and crunchy peanut butter and a flavour of jam/jelly they didn't like. (I may have got some details wrong)

I remember opinion being really divided in the thread over whether this was a reasonable expectation. A lot of people seemed to feel the tastes/textures were so different it was reasonable. But to me that was being extremely picky. while I think that children (and adults) can ask for or make their own preferred food, as a guest you should accept the local norm unless you have a dietary restriction that could cause you harm or upset.

I don't remember this post, but I would say most kids under the age of say around 6 would have an issue with the above scenario.  Most people always serve PBJ one way and it can even be the "good, mom's not making me try something knew" safe haven lunch for this kid.  And instead getting whole wheat versus white, smooth versus crunchy, and a jam versus a smooth jelly would cause most kids to not even recognize the sandwhich.  When my kid's friends visited PBJ, was the one thing I always asked how they liked. Well, PBJ and burgers.  It's like putting mayonaise and ketchup on a hamburger for someone who doesn't like ketchup and mayonaise on burgers.  They aren't picky eaters they've just learned how they prefer their burgers.

I remember my mom telling a story about my sister's new 4 yr old step son and scrambled eggs.  They were up earlier than anyone else and mom offered to make eggs.  Mom's new step grandson sat at the counter as she was preparing them and when mom didn't add milk to the eggs when whipping them he became very upset and wouldn't eat the eggs.  They weren't like his Dad made.  This child even at that age would eat anything.  Not a picky eater, but don't mess with his normal eggs.

Definitely!

I used to work at the Silver Spoon Cafe. It was owned by the same corporation as Ruby Tuesday and was in the style of an Italian trattoria. It was a casual Italian atmosphere that conversely emphasized wine service. The food was really good, IMO, 20 years ago!

However, their children's menu left a lot to be desired - by children anyways. It was not popular with them. For example, their grilled cheese sandwiches were not WonderBread with Kraft Singles. They used a delicious, wholegrain bread and real sharp cheddar cheese and then grilled in real butter (not Whirl or some such stuff). The chicken fingers were the breaded chicken used for their salads (delicious to a mature tongue) and sliced with dip. They were nothing like Chicken McNuggets.

Consequently there was always some kid whining about their food but they never altered the menu because adults with small appetites loved eating the delicious offerings on the kids menu with a small upcharge for an adult order!

Texture would make a huge difference to me as a kid. I didn't like peanut butter but if I had to eat it, it better be smooth! Crunchy was difficult to eat and would get all stuck in my teeth and felt funny.

And I used to hate breadcrumbs on anything because it felt like little bugs were in my mouth while I was trying to eat. I was such a little PITA when it came to food when I was a kid!

[Cami]

There was a thread on eHell about a child who was made a PBJ by their aunt and didn't like it because it was brown bread not white bread and crunchy peanut butter and a flavour of jam/jelly they didn't like. (I may have got some details wrong)

I remember opinion being really divided in the thread over whether this was a reasonable expectation. A lot of people seemed to feel the tastes/textures were so different it was reasonable. But to me that was being extremely picky. while I think that children (and adults) can ask for or make their own preferred food, as a guest you should accept the local norm unless you have a dietary restriction that could cause you harm or upset.

I'm ashamed to say I did this once. With my grandparents!  We were visiting my dad's parents, who lived 3000 miles away on the other side of the country. Now my mom was not a good cook, so she didn't make much of an effort. Her mac and cheese was simply boiled mac, and then you put sllices of cheddar on it, stuck it in the oven, and that was that. To this day, and I'm 47, that's the ONLY mac and cheese I'll eat. Only I use shredded cheese. Just thinking about how its traditionally made, with a creamy cheese sauce, makes me gag. due to my aversion to anything warm and creamy, like i described upthread.

So we're there, and my trandmother made this mac and cheese, the "traditional" way, and sprinkled bread crumbs on top, which browned nicely. I threw a hissy fit and refused to eat it. I was 9 too! Something else must have been going on since I normally didn't do that, but I did. And refused to eat it. I don't recall what happened but my parents were NOT amused at all. Neither were the grandparents.

I'm also still like that with certain things; if it doens't look the way I'm used to, or prepared the way I like, I can't eat it. But as an adult, I just politely decline, and leave my "issues" out of it.

I think the opposite can be true as well -- you can believe you don't like something because of the way it's tasted every time you've had it before and then you try it another way and the world is different! LOL

I remember when I was a kid, we had a family friend's kid staying with us for a while one summer. One Friday afternoon, my mother announced she was making grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch. The kid didn't complain, but she obviously did not want that lunch menu. My mother offered to give her a cheese sandwich or no sandwich at all, etc. The kid had been brought up to eat what was put in front of her and insisted she was fine. I can still see the look on her face when she bit into the grilled cheese. Utter shock and amazement and happiness. She scarfed that grilled cheese down and asked if there was any more. My mother asked why she'd changed her mind and she blurted out, "Your grilled cheese is GREAT! My mother's is always burned and hard as a rock. I thought that was the way grilled cheese had to taste." My mother ended up showing her how to make grilled cheese "our" way and when the girl went back home and showed her mother "our" way, the mother got quite upset. Every time the girl would visit subsequently, she'd ask for "our" grilled cheese.

My dh had a similar change of heart with lasagna. He'd only had it the way his mother made it... with tomato soup and cottage cheese. For years, he refused to try any lasagna, because he was sure it was disgusting. One day, I had made a lasagna for a pot luck and he was bascially shamed into taking a portion and to his shock, he loved it. He asks me to make it regularly and now orders it in restaurants.

So a lot of people assume that the way food tasted the first time it was presented to them is the way it always taste and if it tasted bad then, they won't want to try it again.

[rose red]

DD is sometimes picky about shapes.  She had tried Goldfish shaped pretzels and didn't like them.  I had an appointment and dropped her off with a sitter and the sitter said she loved pretzels that were in the shape of a thin rod.  DD likes cheddar Goldfish, go figure.

Ha Ha.  I'm this way myself.  I only like thin rod pretzels and will never eat it in goldfish form and I, too, like the cheese flavors.  I remember as a kid being very excited because someone brought over a bag of twisted pretzels, but was disappointed that it didn't taste as good.  I mean, it tasted like pretzels, but...not.  Weird.

[drzim]

I myself was a picky eater (now that I'm older I eat a lot of foods so no longer picky).   There was a time when the only meat I would eat was white meat chicken, and the only vegetable I would eat was corn or carrots.  I admit I got catered to a lot, because if I didn't like something, I would just not eat.  I think I freaked my mother out.

I have 2 kids, one picky and one that will eat pretty much anything.  And yes, they were both raised the same way.  I never make them eat anything, but they must at least try a bite.  If they don't want to eat what I serve, they are always welcome to pour themselves a bowl of cereal.  I just don't see the point of them starving, but I don't want to fix a separate meal either.  So cereal it is.

My picky daughter is actually the worst kind of picky and it does drive me a little crazy.  The worst kind of picky is that she actually eats a lot of different foods, but only prepared in one very specific way.  Hamburgers must be thin, not too thick.  Chicken can be grilled, but not fried or with any kind of breading. Raw carrots are fine, cooked carrots are not.  Pasta can only be certain shapes.  I never know whether she'll eat or not when we go somewhere because if someone says "we're having chicken and carrots" she may either scarf it down or refuse to eat altogether. 

Yet, this is the daughter that will happily eat sushi (several different kinds), Thai curry,  salmon, prime rib, chinese chicken salad, tikka masala.

[secretrebel]

I think the opposite can be true as well -- you can believe you don't like something because of the way it's tasted every time you've had it before and then you try it another way and the world is different! LOL

I remember when I was a kid, we had a family friend's kid staying with us for a while one summer. One Friday afternoon, my mother announced she was making grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch. The kid didn't complain, but she obviously did not want that lunch menu. My mother offered to give her a cheese sandwich or no sandwich at all, etc. The kid had been brought up to eat what was put in front of her and insisted she was fine. I can still see the look on her face when she bit into the grilled cheese. Utter shock and amazement and happiness. She scarfed that grilled cheese down and asked if there was any more. My mother asked why she'd changed her mind and she blurted out, "Your grilled cheese is GREAT! My mother's is always burned and hard as a rock. I thought that was the way grilled cheese had to taste." My mother ended up showing her how to make grilled cheese "our" way and when the girl went back home and showed her mother "our" way, the mother got quite upset. Every time the girl would visit subsequently, she'd ask for "our" grilled cheese.

My dh had a similar change of heart with lasagna. He'd only had it the way his mother made it... with tomato soup and cottage cheese. For years, he refused to try any lasagna, because he was sure it was disgusting. One day, I had made a lasagna for a pot luck and he was bascially shamed into taking a portion and to his shock, he loved it. He asks me to make it regularly and now orders it in restaurants.

So a lot of people assume that the way food tasted the first time it was presented to them is the way it always taste and if it tasted bad then, they won't want to try it again.

Cami, I really agree with this. There are some foods that I don't make for myself much because I don't know a really good way of cooking them and I don't like the way I make them but I won't say I don't like them or refuse them because they could turn out to be delicious when made by someone who knows that they're doing.

I didn't think I liked aubergine until I tasted a friend's aubergine parmigiana. It was AWESOME. I asked for the recipe at once and now I make "Rob's aubergine parmigiana" often. I also didn't think I liked leeks but my OH loves them so I started to experiment with cooking them and leeks are actually nommy. So now I always try everything except the few foods I know I can't handle (celeriac and coriander).

However, their children's menu left a lot to be desired - by children anyways. It was not popular with them. For example, their grilled cheese sandwiches were not WonderBread with Kraft Singles. They used a delicious, wholegrain bread and real sharp cheddar cheese and then grilled in real butter (not Whirl or some such stuff). The chicken fingers were the breaded chicken used for their salads (delicious to a mature tongue) and sliced with dip. They were nothing like Chicken McNuggets.

Consequently there was always some kid whining about their food but they never altered the menu because adults with small appetites loved eating the delicious offerings on the kids menu with a small upcharge for an adult order!

Bloo, do kids in the US commonly eat pre-cooked food? Those ready meal dishes are so expensive and bland at the same time it wouldn't occur to me to provide them for children although I would provide a simpler children's menu for kids visiting me. Mac and cheese is always made from scratch by me with cheese and butter.

[siamesecat2965]

   So a lot of people assume that the way food tasted the first time it was presented to them is the way it always taste and if it tasted bad then, they won't want to try it again.

Hehehe - for me, it was this, and also just the way it looked. I hated asparagus as a child since my mom served canned, which was nasty and slimy. Fresh, TOTALLY different and I love it.  I also hated the way squash looked, so I was convinced I didn't like it. well, one day i'm watching some cooking show, and see butternut squash puree. I thought hmm...that looked yummy, maybe I'll try it, and i realized I had NEVER EVER tasted it, i just assumed i wouldn't like it.

Big surprise, I do. Same with zucchini and yellow squahs. not one of my favorites, but i will eat it, and grilled zucchini is the bomb!

[blue2000]

DD is sometimes picky about shapes.  She had tried Goldfish shaped pretzels and didn't like them.  I had an appointment and dropped her off with a sitter and the sitter said she loved pretzels that were in the shape of a thin rod.  DD likes cheddar Goldfish, go figure.

Ha Ha.  I'm this way myself.  I only like thin rod pretzels and will never eat it in goldfish form and I, too, like the cheese flavors.  I remember as a kid being very excited because someone brought over a bag of twisted pretzels, but was disappointed that it didn't taste as good.  I mean, it tasted like pretzels, but...not.  Weird.

I like both but I can totally see that. Pretzels have a starchy 'inside' and a salty 'outside' shell. Thin pretzels have more 'outside' to them than thick goldfish pretzels and crunch differently. To a small child, this can be a huge difference.

[Girlie]

My husband is extremely texture senstive, as well as just being plain picky.
He won't eat ground meat or anything that has "whole" oats or grains in it because of the texture.
He won't eat vegetables. Or fruit.
His diet, shamefully, consists mostly of chicken, beef, pork, white breads, white pastas, cheese, potatoes, and tomato sauce (but only if it doesn't have actual pieces of tomato or anything else in it).

Yeah...he's weird.
We eat out a lot because I find that I tend to eat healthier when I'm not having to worry about catering to his preferences.

[Mikayla]

Agree with the PP.  Your DD is associating shape with taste.  She might have a heightened visual since.  Be prepared for only liking certain pasta shapes, baby carrots versus standard size, apples needing to be cut into cubes versus quarters, and sandwhiches having to be cut a certain way. My DD would complain food didn't taste the same if it wasn't shaped correctly.  Her brain is preparing her taste buds on what to expect.  Think of it like thinking you've been served ice tea and it looks like iced tea put when you take a drink it is a soda.  I love soda but not when I'm expecting iced tea.

Wow, you may have solved a lifelong mystery for me!  Seriously.  I don't think I'm an overly picky eater, but the one issue I've had my whole life has to do with shapes of pasta.  Penne is awesome, ziti is fine in emergencies, and with a gun to my head, I can do the larger size of spaghetti.  That's it.

What's funny (but not part of the above) is my brother has a lifelong hatred of cooked pasta.  My mom would make it, and his serving would be raw, just broken into smaller pieces.  He's still like that.

My only other must-avoid is cumin.  Even in small quantities, I feel like I'm sweating it for days afterward!  And I'm very sensitive to the smell of it.  My sis and BIL tried testing me on it once (not in a mean way - they were going to tell me before I ate it) but they made peas with cumin for Thanksgiving.  The minute I walked in the front door, it was overpowering.

[AfleetAlex]

From the conversation about PB&J:  I realized when I was older the reason I didn't like my grandmother's peanut butter was because she was using natural pb, and I was used to a specific brand (the brand I still buy to this day). To me, natural peanut butter is like licking wallpaper paste. I won't do it. I cringe even thinking about it.

Neither will I buy low-fat PB, although I can eat it if I have to. I just find that it's slightly squeaky on my teeth.

Also, I never wanted spinach as a kid because it looked like cooked seaweed plopped on the plate, all stringy and wet. Imagine my surprise as an adult to learn that I love it cooked in dishes and raw in salads.

[Venus193]

I don't like natural peanut butter either, at least not on bread.  The texture might be useful for other recipes, but it tends to separate, which I also don't like.

[bloo]

However, their children's menu left a lot to be desired - by children anyways. It was not popular with them. For example, their grilled cheese sandwiches were not WonderBread with Kraft Singles. They used a delicious, wholegrain bread and real sharp cheddar cheese and then grilled in real butter (not Whirl or some such stuff). The chicken fingers were the breaded chicken used for their salads (delicious to a mature tongue) and sliced with dip. They were nothing like Chicken McNuggets.

Consequently there was always some kid whining about their food but they never altered the menu because adults with small appetites loved eating the delicious offerings on the kids menu with a small upcharge for an adult order!

Bloo, do kids in the US commonly eat pre-cooked food? Those ready meal dishes are so expensive and bland at the same time it wouldn't occur to me to provide them for children although I would provide a simpler children's menu for kids visiting me. Mac and cheese is always made from scratch by me with cheese and butter.

It seems like it. I live in NE Ohio and food is the end-all, be-all of this area. And the more processed, the better. But in different parts of the US, that's not the case. Even in the situation I mentioned from 20 years ago, that was in South Florida and maybe 1 out of 5 kids would turn their nose up the kid's menu, while others would either enjoy it or passively eat it. So it wasn't a problem for most kids.

But judging from my friends and acquaintance where I live now? It would be a problem for better than half the kids around here! Which is a shame from a nutritional standpoint.

Bless you for making homemade mac-n-cheese! Yum-may!

[Dazi]

DD is sometimes picky about shapes.  She had tried Goldfish shaped pretzels and didn't like them.  I had an appointment and dropped her off with a sitter and the sitter said she loved pretzels that were in the shape of a thin rod.  DD likes cheddar Goldfish, go figure.

Ha Ha.  I'm this way myself.  I only like thin rod pretzels and will never eat it in goldfish form and I, too, like the cheese flavors.  I remember as a kid being very excited because someone brought over a bag of twisted pretzels, but was disappointed that it didn't taste as good.  I mean, it tasted like pretzels, but...not.  Weird.

I like both but I can totally see that. Pretzels have a starchy 'inside' and a salty 'outside' shell. Thin pretzels have more 'outside' to them than thick goldfish pretzels and crunch differently. To a small child, this can be a huge difference.

Goldfish pretzels and thin rod pretzels do not have the same texture nor do they taste the same (says the supertaster).  I like thin rod pretzels, I loathe gold fish pretzels or pretzels in any other form, except the big soft baked ones.  I also like the cheddar goldfish.

[Lady Snowdon]

I'm considered a fairly picky eater.  It's not so much that I don't eat anything as that what I don't like is considered so normal (tomatoes, eggs, watermelon, cottage cheese) that people who say they don't like it are pegged as picky because most people like whatever it is.

I also don't like a ton of seasoning/flavoring on things.  I don't put mustard/mayo/tomatoes/lettuce/pickles on my burger, for example.  Just the burger itself, with maybe a bit of ketchup, is fine. 

My one totally picky thing is mac-n-cheese.  It has to be Kraft, from the box, made just so.  Homemade mac n cheese?  I can't eat it; it doesn't taste good.  It's one area where my tastebuds have permanently adapted to the "low class" version.