General Etiquette > Family and Children

In-Law's furniture

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xanne:
Kind of a long story.  My husband bought the house that is now ours from his parents, when we married, I sold my house and the new mortgage is in both names - we are now married 10 years.  The ILs left just about everything behind and moved to another state.  When DH took ownership, he was told that he had to keep his Mother's organ until she died and the dining room furniture would still belong to them.  Their furniture is definitely not my taste and after a few years of telling DH how much I hated the giant faux early American hutch and trestle table with benches, I gave him 2 options.  Buy new furniture we both like, or live with a piece of furniture that would never get dusted or cleaned again, ever. I resented having to care for something I truly didn't like and it is a high maintenance piece.  the hutch moved into a bedroom, it was too heavy to carry up or down stairs and MIL might want it if she moves back up here.  I will spare you all the gory details of getting accused of throwing out their things, the kicker was the plastic insert that allows you to play 45s on a regular record player that had been left in a drawer, did I mention that they moved 25 years ago?  Yes, I dd throw it out along with tons of other crap that they might want some day. Evil DIL.

So, last year MIL passed away.  FIL decided to give the organ to his church up here.  Wonderful, then he tells us that they aren't going to make a decision for a year, so we tell him we are going to sell it.  After the second buyer made an offer, he tells us the day before he left the church said they would take it.  50lb block of salt with that one.  He paid to have the organ repaired and now we wait for the church.  It is an old model with tubes that needs special handling (expensive) or we would stick it on a trailer and take it over.  So we come to the china hutch.  Am I wrong in not asking if it can go? If I can't sell it, I am going to donate it. I know if I ask, I will never be rid of it. The organ and hutch take up a large portion of what I would like to use as a home office. 

FWIW, MIL was a very controlling person and this was her hold over me since my husband didn't want to make waves, and frankly, I am not the female dog type, I try to be nice.

amylouky:
I wouldn't ask, but I would tell FIL you are planning on disposing of it, to give him first refusal. I'd just tell him, "FIL, if you want this china hutch, we'll need you to make arrangements to get it by X date, otherwise we'll be selling/donating it".
I understand DH not wanting to make waves, but it's YOUR house and you shouldn't have to have anything in it that you don't want.

SamiHami:
If your IL's wanted their items saved, they should have sprung for a storage unit. Instead they bullied your "don't make waves" DH into taking the property indefinitely...and still managed to give you grief over it through the years. Yeah, sounds like a great deal to me.

You've been a doormat long enough. Time to polish that spine and tell your FIL that he has two weeks to get any and all of his property out of your house or it's getting donated/trashed/disposed of...and no excuses of "oh, the church is coming next month! Can't you wait til then!"

Stick to your guns-you'll feel so much better for it!

Mental Magpie:
I'll just pod the posters above me.

cicero:

--- Quote from: Mental Magpie on January 08, 2013, 12:01:40 PM ---I'll just pod the posters above me.

--- End quote ---
me too

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