This woman sounds like a very nice, classy lady. I'm so glad you bought her a little something to at least forge your own relationship
with her. Trust me, this will also keep your relationship
with your brother in very good repair over the coming years. Rock on!
I'm not fond of my brother's girlfriend, but she lives with my brother and gets a gift from me every year--usually a very nice hair accessory or some bath/body products. And at least one small gift is labeled for both
her and my brother. Why? Because I do it for my brother, to keep his feelings intact and to keep the peace in their home. (She is a major drama queen.) And even though I have met her daughters from her previous marriage only once, they get small gifts. Because it's Christmas, for crying out loud.
Pointedly leaving someone out at Christmas is low. My grandmother did that to my mother (and other DILs) for years and I have never forgiven that. It definitely tainted her relationships
with her daughters-in-law and grandchildren. There are 364 other days to be spiteful, and she chose Christmas. Poor choice.
And gramma dishes, I LOVED your story. Your now-DIL has a wonderful MIL.