I may be making too much of it, however, if everyone in you family and extended family receives a gift (and I mean everyone, cousins, aunts, uncles, in law's, ect.) and you receive nothing for you child, even though she specifically said that I and my dh were not going to receive one because she will be buying for our son...you would not be hurt? My family is a family that has always given gifts, it may be out of the ordinary for some families but not for mine to give and receive gifts. We send my grandmother Swiss Colony each year so I guess that would be considered a gift. My other cousins 22 and under do not send my grandmother a gift but always receive one. You are telling me you wouldn't be upset? I'm not being a gimme just simply think it's odd.
Being hurt is fine, no one can tell you that you shouldn't feel a certain way. You know your family dynamics better than we do. If your family is quite upfront about who receives gifts for what occasion, perhaps it wouldn't be out of line to have your mom (etc.) ask her mother about it--not in a demanding or accusatory way, but just out of curiosity. It seems to be bothering you, so maybe you would feel better if someone investigated it for you. It could still be some kind of mix-up or delay, like the gift was back-ordered or something. And, on the off chance Grandma is trying to send you some kind of message with the lack of a gift, I think it's better that someone (not you) ask her about it directly, and get things out in the open.
I personally think the best
course of action would be to try and let it go this year, and focus on your overall relationship
with Grandma. As someone else asked, when you call her, does she seem unusually cool and distant? If so, you could ask her about that
, and maybe that would reveal something. One incident does not a pattern make; but if there's no gift, and no card for your anniversary in March (for example), and she's cool and distant on the phone, and she doesn't reply to any of your emails--then you have a good case for saying, "Grandma, I feel like you've been kind of distant with me lately. Have I done anything to offend you?"