General Etiquette > Life...in general

I think I screwed up - ideas on how to fix. Update #8, 17

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missmolly:
BG: I work at a cinemaplex. I recently moved into a new place and have a lot of expenses coming up, so I am taking as many shifts as I can at work to get plenty of money up. I have put myself down to work pretty much every day, and I have told my manager to call me if she needs me to cover any extra shifts.
I have a really good friend, Helen, that I try to catch up with when I can. We were supposed to meet up recently but she got held up with a job interview and had to cancel. End BG.

Last night she messaged me on FB asking me if I was available sometime this week. This was my reply:

Hi Helen, I've hesitated on making plans is that I keep getting called into work on supposedly free days, and with the trip coming up it's hard for me to refuse any extra work. I know that I'm not rostered on Thursday and Sunday but there is a possibility that I will be asked to work either of those shifts. So if you would like to go out for breakfast either of these days I would love to catch up, the only thing is that I might have to cancel them. Otherwise we could wait until February.


Reading back over that, I'm really cringing now. I simply should have said - sorry this month won't work for me, let's try next month. Instead I've essentially said "hey now, I can make plans but I'll very likely flake out on them".
There has been no reply from her at all - even though she has made other fb posts recently and she is always quick to reply to me. So I'm pretty sure she has taken offense. My question is, should I apologise for my wording and if so, how. Or should I wait until she makes the first move?

Brisvegasgal:
I didn't think you were rude, a bit confusing yes, but rude no.

If you're concerned why not message her and say something like 'sorry about my crazy schedule, how about we lock in a date in Feb'.

MariaE:

--- Quote from: Brisvegasgal on January 09, 2013, 06:00:18 AM ---I didn't think you were rude, a bit confusing yes, but rude no.

If you're concerned why not message her and say something like 'sorry about my crazy schedule, how about we lock in a date in Feb'.

--- End quote ---

Agree with this. This is a friend - she'll understand :)

Rules are different in a friendship. I have a friend to whom I can say, "Hey, do you want to hang out on Friday if I'm up for it?" and she'll reply "Sure, if nothing else comes up." Horribly, horribly rude according to etiquette, but we're close enough that it works for us.

Margo:
I don't think you were rude. You made it clear you'd like to meet with  hr, but you can't make a absolute commitment as you may have to work. If you'd agreed to meet and then cancelled I think you would owe her an apology, but you haven't, you've simply explained the limitations on your availability this month. Isn't it possible that the delay in response is because meeting for breakfast could mean she'd have to arrange to start work later / get different transport and she needs to check whether that is feasible before she responds? Or she may simply have forgotten to reply!

I think it would be fins to go back to her and say something such as "It looks as though this month is really packed - can we fix a definite date for February?"

Redsoil:
Can't see a problem with it.  If it were me, I would totally understand the situation!  Maybe she's meaning to get back to you when she knows her own schedule a bit better?  Of course, FB messages sometimes take a while to go through, or can get "lost" too.  Maybe phone her to chat, or email etc.

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