I have to say I cannot even *imagine* someone saying "You're being a B****" to my daughter and me going "Oh, marry him anyway". It would take all my self restraint not to reply with "Then dump him now. Why haven't you dumped him yet? Do you need to use my phone?" I would rather go without grandchildren altogether than have anyone treat my daughter like that even for one day. Shelley's mother is either completely one eyed or very toxic and probably doesn't deserve such an awesome daughter.
He is/was smart enough not to call her the B-word in front of her friends and family. They went to a bedroom to talk and that's where he did it. Though the way he did talk to her in front of us was bad enough. Every story and statement had some negative connotation about Shelley. Even my husband noticed and he doesn't usually pick up on things like that.
The thing is I honestly don't think Shelley's mom cares whether she is happy. She's very much about appearances. And she is way less concerned about Shelley finding a partner in life and more concerned with what the ladies at her church think. She has said it's embarrassing for her that all of her friends' daughters are married and hers is not.
FTR, Shelley's mom and I have never gotten along, because ever since we were kids, I have encouraged Shelley to be "defiant and rebellious" in mom's view by telling Shelley she should choose her own college, her own career path, and not to put up with BS in the name of keeping the peace with her mom. At the time, my mom and her mom worked together and she actually went to my mom to complain about me encouraging Shelley to think for herself!
Shelley's mom ran down a list of Shelley's "faults" like having a larger, curvier frame than her mother, being too stubborn (thinking for herself), and not accepting dates with boys just because she didn't happen to like them. (Like that has anything to do with it!) She said my mom and I should be helping her improve Shelley, not interfering. Mom ADORED Shelley (still does) and told Shelley's mom in no uncertain terms to pull her head out of her rear quarters. "You have a beautiful, kind, intelligent daughter who makes good grades, has never gotten into trouble, has great friends who love her and wants to go into a career where she can help people. How on earth do you think you could improve on that?"
Shelley's mom said my mom wouldn't understand, because my mom didn't care how I turned out.
Well, I turned out enjoying my mom's company and voluntarily spending time with her, Shelley not so much.