Oh No, Baby 'Daddy' Drama!

[baglady]

"My ex is crazy" is player-speak. It's a pre-emptive strike against the possibility that the ex calls or comes around, crying, with a plea or demand for what's rightfully hers -- child support, the money he borrowed, the stuff she left at his place, or just an explanation for why he dumped her. The objective is that Ms. Right Now does not, even for a minute, take Ms. Ex and her pain seriously.

It could very well be that Claire *is* delusional, that she did cheat and that the baby isn't Brad's. But my own experience in the Player's Club is telling me that "Brad's a cad" is a far more likely scenario. I hope that Claire has a good lawyer. If you feel the need to say *anything* Brad-related to Claire, encourage her to do that, and refrain from passing along his cruel comments.

[LifeOnPluto]

Add me to the chorus that says "Don't say anything to Claire". I think it would just unnecessarily upset her.

You have also done the right thing in telling Shelley about the fact that Claire is expecting a baby, and that it's likely to be Brad's. As a PP said, what Shelley does with that info is up to her, now.

[blarg314]

It's possibly that Claire is crazy, slept around on her fiance, got pregnant by another man and moved out.

However...

"My ex is crazy but she moved out..."

followed by

"You didn't tell me your ex is four months pregnant?"

"I told you, she's crazy. And the baby's probably not mine"

is not something that fills me with warm happy feelings about Brad's character. It sounds more like someone who just broke up with his pregnant fiance, but doesn't want this to interfere with his dating schedule.

But I vote for don't say anything. If Claire is a crazy cheater, you don't need to get in the middle. If Brad is a lying cad who dumped his pregnant fiance and is now badmouthing her ot others, well, this isn't likely to be all that much of a surprise to Claire. And if it comes down to a fight for child support - that's what DNA testing is for.

Mentioning this to *Shelley* was a wise and kind thing to do. If she is deluded enough to keep dating a guy who either has a crazy pregnant ex-fiance and an impending battle over child support, or is a lying cad who dumped is pregnant fiance and is going around calling her crazy and implying that the child he fathered isn't his, that's her problem.

[Mikayla]

This is one I can keep very simple.  It doesn't matter what is being said, how much is known for sure, or any other qualifier.  It all depends on how close I am to the person.

If Shelly was the one being talked about, she'd hear it all - what I know, what I sense, what I think.  It's not a fun convo, but I'd feel I owe it to her and I'd want her to do the same for me in similar circumstances.

With Claire, no to all of it.  I wouldn't have that much emotional investment in the outcome.  In fact, it would be unhealthy if I did.