Author Topic: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)  (Read 6217 times)

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Two Ravens

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #15 on: January 10, 2013, 03:17:07 PM »
While I agree with the previous posters I have to say it seems strange that you are changing and then going back to work for 15-30 minutes, which is what gives rise to the questions (yes she's rude to ask them but if you changed just before you left it likely wouldn't have occurred to her to ask it in the first place)

I thought the same thing. If it were me, I would have thought that you were on your way out the door and then were called back for something.

artk2002

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #16 on: January 10, 2013, 03:54:36 PM »
While I agree with the previous posters I have to say it seems strange that you are changing and then going back to work for 15-30 minutes, which is what gives rise to the questions (yes she's rude to ask them but if you changed just before you left it likely wouldn't have occurred to her to ask it in the first place)

I thought the same thing. If it were me, I would have thought that you were on your way out the door and then were called back for something.

All of which may be correct, but is completely irrelevant with regards to ACW's behavior. It doesn't matter if she changed at noon and left at 5 as long as she has permission to do so. The fact that OP's behavior isn't what you would do doesn't justify nosy behavior by ACW.

From previous threads, ACW has some very serious boundary problems that bug BeagleMommy no end. The problem is that BeagleMommy continues to do things that signal to ACW that her behavior is ok. Retraining people like this requires absolute consistency and very firm enforcement of boundaries.

Edited to correct a name.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2013, 04:27:13 PM by artk2002 »
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oceanus

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #17 on: January 10, 2013, 05:18:51 PM »
Also, you can say
"Don't worry, I have gotten approval for all of this from Boss.  If you have any further questions you can ask him."

I respectfully disagree.  OP has no obligation to assure co-worker or to explain anything.  The fact that OP got permission from the boss is NOT the co-worker's business - at all.  She should stop justifying her actions to this co-worker.

TootsNYC

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #18 on: January 10, 2013, 05:32:21 PM »
While I agree with the previous posters I have to say it seems strange that you are changing and then going back to work for 15-30 minutes, which is what gives rise to the questions (yes she's rude to ask them but if you changed just before you left it likely wouldn't have occurred to her to ask it in the first place)

I've done that--I have a window to change, bcs the work crossing my desk slows. So I grab it. And then I go back to work and can get things done right up until the time I need to leave. It's a matter of workflow.

YummyMummy66

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #19 on: January 11, 2013, 06:46:05 AM »
I don't see why you have to change a half hour before leaving.   You have permission to do what you are doing, but you do not have permission to wear jeans to do your job.  I too would question this as it is not fair to other employees who might love to wear jeans to work.

You change before you are ready to leave and walk out the door.

But, I would not question you as a co-worker.  Not my business.  As to this co-worker, you can ask, "Is there a reason for your questions?", "Do you ahve something work related you wish to discuss?", "If you have any further questions, please take them to boss as I have discusses this situation with him".

LeveeWoman

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #20 on: January 11, 2013, 06:48:49 AM »
I don't see why you have to change a half hour before leaving.  You have permission to do what you are doing, but you do not have permission to wear jeans to do your job.   I too would question this as it is not fair to other employees who might love to wear jeans to work.

You change before you are ready to leave and walk out the door.

But, I would not question you as a co-worker.  Not my business.  As to this co-worker, you can ask, "Is there a reason for your questions?", "Do you ahve something work related you wish to discuss?", "If you have any further questions, please take them to boss as I have discusses this situation with him".

From BeagleMommy's first post: About 1/2 an hour before leaving I change into jeans, a T-shirt and sneakers (also approved by my director)....

postalslave

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #21 on: January 11, 2013, 11:16:52 AM »
You have permission to do what you are doing, but you do not have permission to wear jeans to do your


OP isn't wearing jeans to work all day.... She has permission to do this and the focus on when she should change is irrelevant to the question at hand.

Jones

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #22 on: January 11, 2013, 11:44:49 AM »
OP doesn't have to justify the early change to her coworker or to us, but I'd like to point out there are many reasons why she might change early. The bathroom is rarely free, there's an official break time, a natural lull in the afternoon, a coffee spill on her professional clothing are all reasons she may have changed early. I'm sure there are more possible reasons but those are off the top of my head.

BeagleMommy

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #23 on: January 11, 2013, 02:58:22 PM »
Happy to clarify.  The bathroom is to the rear of my office through the student lounge.  There are only two stalls and, if they are being used, I have to wait.  The half hour before leaving was also an approximation.  Sometimes I get to change only 10 minutes before leaving.

After changing, I walk back to my office to shut down my computer, answer any last minute messages, and lock the door.  This is what I was doing when Annoying Coworker walked by.

Maude

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #24 on: January 11, 2013, 04:45:49 PM »
What is ACW's actual job? It seems she does very little except walk by your desk, while you are working flat out.She needs to be given some time-consuming tasks that take her away from your area.

MissRose

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #25 on: January 14, 2013, 08:08:04 AM »
I think a good amount of bean dip or perhaps even better complete silence may be needed for this co-worker.  It is none of that person's business why you leave early and why you have changed to a different outfit.

oceanus

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Re: Why Does She Even Care? (Sorry, a bit long)
« Reply #26 on: January 14, 2013, 03:42:14 PM »
I think a good amount of bean dip or perhaps even better complete silence may be needed for this co-worker.  It is none of that person's business why you leave early and why you have changed to a different outfit.

I agree, and it's not co-worker's business that OP got permission from boss.  OP should not even mention that.  ACW keeps asking nosey questions because OP keeps answering her.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2013, 08:35:17 PM by oceanus »