Family Video Situation

[Virg]

Thipu1, I get the she wants everyone to be filmed in a picturesque location for the video, but she's your MIL so I presume she's got at least some concern for your difficulties with doing this her way.  Considering that she's a close family member I don't see any etiquette issue in asking to do your segment earlier.  I'd even suggest setting yourself up in front of a green backdrop so the final editor can matte in the background she wants from a stock shot (get contact info of the person who'll be doing the shooting and editing if at all possible and discuss the whole thing for best results).  I'd do this (preshooting your segment both in front of green and using a normal background) even if you decide to try doing it live on location, so if it turns out you just can't make it happen you'll still have the preshot footage to pass along.  Not only will this "practice" shooting make the actual performance easier as artk2002 said, having that backup plan will also help to de-stress you about doing the performance because it's not a "win or bust" situation.

All in all, there's nothing wrong with discussing the level of participation you're comfortable with, and it's not like you're just begging out because you don't feel like doing it.

Virg

[WillyNilly]

Unfortunately, that isn't an option.

  MIL wants the video to be shot in a beautiful garden on the grounds of the resort.

She's 90, shes been disappointed before, once more isn't going to be what kills her.  Seriously someone has to be unhappy here - her for a moment because your backdrop is different, or you preserved for eternity stuttering on tape.  I know who's angle I'm siding with here!  If you can do it in advance (maybe go to the Botanical gardens to get a lovely background that looks like it was just a different part of the estate) then do it in advance.

Otherwise perhaps the interview idea, or sitting with your DH (especially since this is your in-law, this should be ok) as he speaks and you smile along side him. 

Or if you are one of those stutterers that can sing ok, maybe write up a little jingle to a known tune (My mother in law, she's ok, do dah, do dah, she makes work feel like play, do dah do dah, always knows just what to say, oh do dah day) and sing a little ditty about your MIL - its a fun playful way to do your segment and might work out ok. After all imagine watching this video - a series of talking heads can get boring, a little song will lighten up the mood.

[veryfluffy]

I have heard that some people find their stutter disappears when they sing, or recite poetry (particularly rhyming). if either of those works for you, perhaps you could prepare something appropriate?

[Secret]

I suggest practice, practice and make sure you do more than one take with the knowledge that you will not be using the first take.

[guihong]

I think that's a great idea, and you have lots of good options already.  I just wanted to ask: MrThipuMom is nearly a century old.  Was she born in China?  That means she was born after the emperors were gone (but barely) but before Mao, obviously.  It was a tumultuous time in the country's history.  I would try to get her to share her memories of her childhood in China, but I realize that this would have to be approached with care if it isn't a happy history.  Such a verbal record by someone who was there would be priceless to Mr. Thipu and the rest of her descendants.

[DaDancingPsych]

I would take this problem back to MIL with a list of solutions that work for you. She must know of your stuttering, so this shouldn't be new to her. Then let her select the solution that she prefers.

Most of my solutions were already suggested, but could you voice record your part beforehand (doing whatever editing is needed) and then shoot some shots of you and MIL at the resort. In the editing room, simply play the recording over the shots.

[bopper]

How about this:  Let them video tape you, but write out what you want to say in big letters on pieces of paper.  Hold up the pieces of paper in front of you sequentially and basically let that tell your story.


Truly I would look for a solution that allows you to be in the video, but allows you to be comfortable with how it is done.

[Lynn2000]

Lots of good suggestions here. I agree with those who say taking the list of ideas you're most comfortable with to MIL and asking her which she would prefer--with the sense that it will be one of the things on this list, and not you making spontaneous declarations at her command where she wants. I think that MIL's idea is lovely, but I'm not sure how well it's really going to work out in reality--trying to get every member of all four generations of her family in one place at one time, to all record nice things about her on camera before she dies? People are going to feel tremendous pressure to be there, even if they have other serious commitments. If MIL could be convinced that it's okay to have some people record their parts early, I think that would be a much more polite way to go about it.

[Starr]

One suggestion I didn't see mentioned is having you do a voiceover.  You could pre-record a voiceover where you narrate memories about your MIL, while photos or video are shown on the screen.  Your MIL's friends could still "meet" you via the pictures and voice, but you would be offscreen and still able to record the narration ahead of time.

Whatever you decide, it sounds like a neat idea.  Good luck!

[Bluenomi]

Do you have any cute little children/grandchildren who will be around? You could do your recording with them and use them as cover  If you talk to them and asked them about MIL it might help take your mind off the fact you are beoign recorded.

Also get whoever is filming to roll the camera for a while before you do your bit. If they let you ramble on for a while about other things and gradually get to the bit about MIL you might not feel under pressure as much. They can just edit that bit out later.

[PitBullMom]

Do you drink? I took a social dance class and the instructor was a stutterer. He would have a beer or 2 before class so he could relax enough to teach. Maybe you could have a drink or 2 before your segment is filmed and be relaxed enough to speak, but obviously not so far gone you're slurring!   

[sevenday]

Your MIL likely loves you, stutter and all.  So while you should certainly be as relaxed as possible, I don't think the stutter will make your MIL angry if she hears it in that tape.  I like the idea others had of having it prerecorded, then at the garden, simply hit 'play,' and then hold up visuals.  Photos of places, events, people.  Then you won't be so nervous.  Get your DH to join you or even your MIL.  Dance while you're being taped maybe, while your 'lines' are being recited?  If you don't want to speak at all, team up with the DH as the others have said. 

[mmswm]

I have a stutter that is the result of a traumatic brain injury when I was in HS (fell off a mountain...sometimes it stinks being 17 and "bulletproof"). I had a couple thoughts.

1) I liked the idea of doing your segment with Mr.Thipu.  Maybe you can arrange it so that it's more of a conversation between the two of you. You're more likely to be comfortable and forget that there's a camera rolling if there's a little bit of give and take stemming from the natural flow of a conversation.

2) Digital photography is cheap. Get the camera rolling and start chatting with whomever is around.  Talk about whatever.  As you relax, begin to move the conversation towards your memories of MIL.  Slowly move MrThipu (or whoever you're talking to) off camera, but continue the conversation. When you're ready, launch into the monologue that MIL wants. Use the magic of video editing to cut the segment down to just the monologue.

3) Try the monologue without any set up.  Start over as needed.  Maybe you'll get part of it right on the first try, and another part on the second try and so on and so forth.  Again, digital photography is cheap, and there are some pretty decent free video editors out there.  You can edit all the different segments and splice bits together until you have the scene you want.

[Specky]

How about Mr. Thipu does the talking, and you gently agree/affirm/smile.  It is his mother, correct?

[Thipu1]

Thanks, everyone.  All the ideas are well worth considering.

MIL does want a professional to do the shooting but, there are family members who are very technologically savvy.  I'd feel more comfortable being shot by one of the nephews. 

This idea is something that MIL proposed after a nap.  The project will probably morph quite a bit before we all get together in late June.  We all get along quite well so there will be suggestions along the way.