Family Video Situation

[SPuck]

You might want to suggest everyone do something in their home then have an editor put everything together for you. Yes the the professional setting would be nice, but this is also going to occur when people are going to want to be relaxing, vacationing, and spending time with family. I don't think the background matters if everyone is dressed in their best, and this is more likely to happen at home than at a vacation area. If this happens you know someone is going to be video taped soaking wet and in their swimming trunks.

[Thipu1]

MIL wants the video to make it clear that the whole family is together in one place, at the same time.

  She hasn't said this yet but, I'm willing to bet she wants to be seated on a bench with the person making the presentation beside her.

She gets visits from family members every few months or so but the whole mischpocha  hasn't all been together since 2009. 

Everybody seems up for this gathering and they are quite a cheerful cheerful bunch.  I wouldn't be surprised if Nephew-in-Law brings along his trombone for a serenade.  That would be fun because he is good.

We have a suspicion that MIL is doing this for bragging rights and we're happy to oblige.  There are a few logistic problems but we have time to work things out.  It will be fine in the end.           

[HappilyInsane]

MIL wants the video to make it clear that the whole family is together in one place, at the same time.

  She hasn't said this yet but, I'm willing to bet she wants to be seated on a bench with the person making the presentation beside her.
       

How about suggesting to her that you and she sit on that bench and have a conversation with you talking to her about some favorite memories or such instead of you talking to the camera? Maybe that would put you more at ease.

[WillyNilly]

MIL wants the video to make it clear that the whole family is together in one place, at the same time.

  She hasn't said this yet but, I'm willing to bet she wants to be seated on a bench with the person making the presentation beside her.

She gets visits from family members every few months or so but the whole mischpocha  hasn't all been together since 2009. 

Everybody seems up for this gathering and they are quite a cheerful cheerful bunch.  I wouldn't be surprised if Nephew-in-Law brings along his trombone for a serenade.  That would be fun because he is good.

We have a suspicion that MIL is doing this for bragging rights and we're happy to oblige.  There are a few logistic problems but we have time to work things out.  It will be fine in the end.         

But here's where the beauty of editing and turning a camera on & off come into play: she can have both.  People (you and any one else) can do a segment elsewhere/some other time and submit it for inclusion and she can get shots of the whole family together as a group and with her, and then all an be edited together to form one piece. 

Think about a real movie - they don't film it all in one go, nor do they shoot it in the order the movie ends up being - often they shoot end scenes first and first scenes last, etc.  Then its all put together to be one cohesive piece.

For true continuity you could make an effort to keep the same haircut, and bring along the same outfit and accessories as you use in your pre-taped segment, but once things are edited together no one needs to know.  For example, imagine this, lets say you know there is a bench with a hedge behind it at the vacation spot.  So you go to your local park, or a friend's yard, and you tape a sort of close-up (not super close, but you know, a talking head) about your MIL in front of a hedge.  You bring the same shirt and necklace/earrings/etc on vacation.  Sit next to your MIL on the bench, let her say a few things, then the camera slowly zooms in on you, and *poof* cut to your pre-taped bit then *poof* the camera zooms back out showing you again next to your MIL. Or without the zooming, a simpler edit would be you and MIL taped chatting from far away (camera 20 feet away or so, so your chatting isn't heard on camera, but shows you two clearly are together), then cuts to your talking head, then back to the far away shot.

[MommyPenguin]

You can take this with a grain of salt, but I've heard that some stutterers do well listening to music when they need to talk.  I think it's easier if you can't hear yourself?  If that helps you at all, could you wear some headphones with music while you talk?  Earbuds wouldn't be too obvious.  You could also maybe prepare a "teleprompter," have your speech written on a posterboard that is right beside the camera but out of view, so that you are just reading aloud instead of speaking spontaneously.

I also like the idea of doing it interview style, like a conversation between you and MIL or you and your DH, or doing it in prerecorded segments that will be put together.

Mostly I would just say to prepare ahead of time... know what you are going to say, practice it, get very comfortable with it, and then... let it go.  Realize that if it doesn't turn out wonderfully, at least you made an effort to do something really special for your MIL.

Have you tried talking to your MIL specifically about the stuttering problem and telling her honestly that the situation makes you nervous, you don't really want a video preserving your stuttering for all time, and asking if she can work with you to help you participate but not embarrass you?  If she's a good MIL, and from your description it sounds like she is, she might be helpful.

[Thipu1]

The problem is that my stutter now surfaces only rarely in ordinary conversation.  While Mr. Thipu and I were dating, it was quite noticeable.  Now, it shows up only in times of stress. After the 30 years of our marriage,   MIL may not even realize that it still exists. 

A few years ago I co-curated a museum show and was able to comfortably give tours of the exhibition with the caveat to visitors that I may block.  There was never much of a problem. I can probably draw on that experience. 

Thanks again to all the good people here who provided thoughtful and useful suggestions.

When you have a niggling, little problem like this, you can't beat E-Hell.         

[Margo]

How about Mr. Thipu does the talking, and you gently agree/affirm/smile.  It is his mother, correct?

This is what I was going to suggest. If you and he do a joint segment, rather than one each, MIL gets the 'all members of the family' participation she would like, and you don't have to do a solo which makes you uncomfortable.

[Thipu1]

Thank you, Margo. 

Everyone here has been very helpful.  It will all work out in the end.  The family will help.  Just forming the question and writing it out helps get thoughts arranged.

Still, E-Hellions provide a wonderful sounding board.