Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

When they just won't go away...

<< < (2/8) > >>

lady_disdain:

--- Quote from: Margo on January 10, 2013, 04:16:20 PM ---Someone who speaks to you when you don't want a conversation maybe gets one, polite "I'm not interested in talking"

--- End quote ---

I disagree. If the person approached you politely in a safe situation (in a busy street during the day and kept their distance, as opposed to crowding in on you late at night), then they deserve a polite answer, in the line of "Excuse me but I am busy/thinking/not interested in talking." There is no need to be gratuitously rude by ignoring them or answering curtly. A little common courtesy goes a long way in improving day to day interactions.

However, once they start insisting, crowding in on you or harassing in any form, then curter answers and, if necessary, escalating from there is fine.

TurtleDove:
Exactly what lady_disdain said.  I think so often the responses on this board jump to being rude to strangers when often I think simle courtesy/we are all on this earth together attitude would diffuse the situation.

RooRoo:
Unfortunately, when I was younger and pretty, saying "Excuse me but I am busy/thinking/not interested in talking" to the knuckledraggers was frequently taken as an invitation. Apparently, the fact that I was polite to them meant I must be interested. Go figure.

I've always been happy to chat with nice people. I'm talking only about the ones who were trying to pick me up; those who couldn't look me in the eye because their eyes were glued a little lower, or who were giving other signs of only being interested in me from the nose down.

And if Tony Testosterony & Co. can't hear a polite brush-off, then they get something more direct. It took me a long time to learn that.

TurtleDove:
I've had the opposite experience.  I generally say, "Thank you!" with a bright smile and move away and almost always the person who was hollering at me smiles and wishes me a good day (or something like that).

Auntie Mame:

--- Quote from: TurtleDove on January 10, 2013, 07:45:31 PM ---Exactly what lady_disdain said.  I think so often the responses on this board jump to being rude to strangers when often I think simle courtesy/we are all on this earth together attitude would diffuse the situation.

--- End quote ---

If they approach me politely, I respond politely. I don't scream at people who just want to know the time, or directions to a landmark, or if they want to tell me I have a pretty smile.  If they approach with a smile and an "excuse me" I will happily smile back. 

If they're opening line includes 1) bellowing something demeaning (baby girl for example, I'm in my late thirties, not a baby girl, certainly not your baby girl), a wolf whistle, or a "compliment (read: rude comment about a part of my body), then they get ignored.  If they get in my space they get a death glare and a "Back Off!".

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version