Not How She Should Have Found Out

[cookiehappy]

I belong to a book club that consists of 10 women.  Every week, one of us is assigned to bring a treat to go along with the beverages that are kindly supplied by the Host whose house where the gatherings are held.  These treats are almost always store bought from popular bakeries in our area.  They range from gourmet doughnuts to decadent cupcakes to individual cheesecakes.

Last night, it was Abby’s turn to bring the treat.  She baked a bundt cake that was really hard and dry.  So much so, that the Host cut into the cake and it literally crumbled and a large piece broke off and fell on the floor.  Host tapped the top of the cake with the cutter and it sounded like someone knocking on the door.  I was getting the plates and cutlery when I saw the cake break and the piece fall.  We looked at each other and then “Sally” walked in, looked at the cake and asked what happened.  We quietly told her the cake accidently broke, but we would pre-slice and plate it to look like nothing was wrong.  We threw the piece that fell, in the garbage.  Then Abby walked in asking what was taking so long.  Sally turned to her and said, “oh, Host and CookieHappy don’t like your cake, they threw a chunk of it in the garbage, see, there it is.  I would have NEVERRR done that.”  Sally puts her hand on Abby's shoulder and walks out.

Abby looked hurt, but we quickly told her what happened.  But it seems Sally got “her story in first” so our story didn’t seem to make Abby feel better.  She did see the cake in the garbage and said she understood.  She, too, walked out.

Host and I are standing in the kitchen feeling stupid.  So we gather everything and brought out trays.  I am shooting daggers at Sally and thought I’d have a word with her later.  The evening went on with no more mention of the cake.

This morning, Host told me Sally is not welcome in her home anymore.

Would it be rude to call Sally out for her behavior or should we just let her be?
Is it worth it to go again, apologize and re-tell the story to Abby hoping she’d really understand?

Here's a bit of a twist:  Host's husband and Sally's husband are vying for a piece of business with Abby's Uncle.  I couldn't help but think Sally made an attempt to "taint" Host in front of Abby with the juvenile thought it would win business for her own husband.  Who knows?

Thanks!

[TurtleDove]

I cannot imagine this happening unless everyone is kidding around!  So Sally actually said with malice that you threw the cake away, and Abby actually was really hurt by this?  That's the part I am having a hard time with.  Are you all friends?  If you are friends, I would call Sally out. If not, just let it go.

If I were Abby I would have laughed!

[bloo]

TurtleDove, you've explained that you're not a cook/baker so it would be understandable for you to be amused. But if cooking and baking is 'what you do' (are known for, etc.) this is very embarrassing.

I would have thought it a good idea for OP or Host to talk to Sally until I read your 'twist' at the end. You probably nailed it and IMO, everybody should just let it go because Host is going to look badly no matter how nicely you or she tries to handle this. Leave it up to Host to handle barring Sally, but she shouldn't.

[LazyDaisy]

If the cake was as bad as what you describe, how could it have been served after that? Wouldn't everyone including Abby notice once they took a bite? I'm not sure what retelling the story to Abby will do.

[nyoprinces]

I think Turtle Dove's confusion is about why it would be so embarrassing or scandalous, even for the best baker, for a piece of cake that had fallen on the ground to be thrown away. Surely, regardless of how dry or moist the cake might have been, she wouldn't expect them to serve a piece that had fallen on the ground?

[TurtleDove]

I think Turtle Dove's confusion is about why it would be so embarrassing or scandalous, even for the best baker, for a piece of cake that had fallen on the ground to be thrown away. Surely, regardless of how dry or moist the cake might have been, she wouldn't expect them to serve a piece that had fallen on the ground?

Yes, this.  It's so hard for me to grasp the scandal reaction to it all, especially since the cake was served.  If the OP had thrown the entire cake into the garbage that might be one thing.  But given what actually happened, I just don't get it!

[delabela]

I think Turtle Dove's confusion is about why it would be so embarrassing or scandalous, even for the best baker, for a piece of cake that had fallen on the ground to be thrown away. Surely, regardless of how dry or moist the cake might have been, she wouldn't expect them to serve a piece that had fallen on the ground?

Yes, this.  It's so hard for me to grasp the scandal reaction to it all, especially since the cake was served.  If the OP had thrown the entire cake into the garbage that might be one thing.  But given what actually happened, I just don't get it!

I agree with TurtleDove - if I was Abby, once I was told that the piece fell on the floor, I would just think that Sally was being weird.  I certainly would not be hurt that the Host threw out floor-cake.  What else could she do?

Unless the Host explained Sally's comments by saying something like "the cake was so dry, it crumbled and part fell on the floor, so we had to throw it out" - then I might be a bit taken aback.

[yokozbornak]

I also find the whole thing to be strange. 

I do think it would have been fine to call Sally out in front of Abby immediately, "Sally, that's not what happened at all.  A piece fell to the floor while we were slicing it and we had to throw it away.  Why would you say we threw her cake in the trash because we didn't like it?"  Maybe by offering reassurances to Abby instead of calling out Sally, you seemed to be guilty. 

Although once again, I don't see how a small piece of cake in the trash indicates wicked intent unless maybe Sally was implying that you cut yourself a piece, tasted it, and then threw that piece out.   

Finally, whether the hostess bans Sally in the future is her decision alone.  I can certainly see why she would want to limit contact with her.

[PastryGoddess]

It sounds like Sally was the one who told Abby that the reason they threw the cake away was because they didn't like it.  It seems the OP and Host didn't get a chance to rebut Sally's accusation at all.

Even if it was a joke, it was one made in bad taste and obviously Abby's feelings were somewhat hurt if she made a face before leaving the room.

[CaptainObvious]

TurtleDove, you've explained that you're not a cook/baker so it would be understandable for you to be amused. But if cooking and baking is 'what you do' (are known for, etc.) this is very embarrassing.

I would have thought it a good idea for OP or Host to talk to Sally until I read your 'twist' at the end. You probably nailed it and IMO, everybody should just let it go because Host is going to look badly no matter how nicely you or she tries to handle this. Leave it up to Host to handle barring Sally, but she shouldn't.

I'm not sure her post required such hostility. Everyone has experience food falling or dropping on the floor. And I can't imagine being devastated because of it, unless I had just dumped the entire Thanksgiving dinner on the floor.

[Tabby Uprising]

TurtleDove, you've explained that you're not a cook/baker so it would be understandable for you to be amused. But if cooking and baking is 'what you do' (are known for, etc.) this is very embarrassing.

I would have thought it a good idea for OP or Host to talk to Sally until I read your 'twist' at the end. You probably nailed it and IMO, everybody should just let it go because Host is going to look badly no matter how nicely you or she tries to handle this. Leave it up to Host to handle barring Sally, but she shouldn't.

I'm not sure her post required such hostility. Everyone has experience food falling or dropping on the floor. And I can't imagine being devastated because of it, unless I had just dumped the entire Thanksgiving dinner on the floor.

I didn't pick up on a hostile tone from bloo, just an explanation of why bakers may be sensitive about the quality of their cakes.  And if I'm reading it correctly, I think the hurt feelings did not stem from a slice of cake being dropped on the floor, but from the slice being thrown in the garbage.  (Though because it was so poorly baked it was incredibly dry which was why it fell in the first place thus requiring the garbage... whew)

Abby was hurt initially because Sally told her the cake was tossed because her friends didn't like it, not because it fell on the floor.  When the friends tried to explain to her what actually happened, they got the impression she thought they backpedaling. 

[YummyMummy66]

From reading all details, it does sound like Sally did say something in malice if not downright rude.

Is Sally still in high school by chance?

As far as the business aspect goes, I hope that the Abby's husband picks his business relationships professionally and with sound decisions other than gossip or other influences. 

As for Sally, yes, I would have a word with her the next time I saw her and point blank ask her why she was so rude to her host and you and why she would intentionally hurt someone's feelings?  Because if she is this way, the group might just have to go on without her.

[Bijou]

I agree that the scenario makes no sense.  We're talking about a piece of cake that fell on the floor (good or lousy doesn't matter). 
In any case, I would stay out of it completely.  It has nothing to do with you, since your family is not involved in the business competition and you've already make clear to Abby what happened. 

[JenJay]

I wouldn't say anything to either of them. I also wouldn't invite Sally to my home again.

[gramma dishes]

I wouldn't say anything to either of them. I also wouldn't invite Sally to my home again.

I agree, both counts.