Can you say "Thank You" too much?

[jpcher]

I asked a CW to do a favor for me. Apparently I've over-thanked her.

I had something printing that needed to be delivered to Director by 4:30. My normal quitting time is 4:00 and I could not stay late that day (prior commitment.) CWs quitting time is 4:30, so I asked if she would deliver it for me once it was done printing. When she agreed I said "Thank you, I really appreciate it."

I sent an e-mail to Director explaining that I needed to leave, but CW would deliver for me. Director sent back and said "Don't worry about it, I'll have my admin pick it up at 4:30." I passed this info on to CW and asked if she would please put the printout on the pick-up table instead. CW said no problem and I said "Thank you! That would be great."

On my way out, I called out my "Goodnight everybody! and CW Thanks again!"

This morning I got into work and saw an e-mail from Director to her admin asking admin to pick up the printout. Admin replied back saying CW already delivered it.

When CW came in this morning I said "Hey, thanks for delivering that . . ." (I was going to add "instead of putting it on the pick-up table")

CW looked at me and said "You already said thank you. It's no big deal."

So the joke of the day was a whole lot of "Thank You!s" being thrown out at random times. We're a pretty tight group, so almost anything can turn into the joke of the day. But it got me to thinking . . .

Did I really say "Thank You" too much?




Another side of the coin, and to generalize this thread, I bought my mother a nook for xmas. I've talked to her at least 5 times since then and every time she thanks me soooo much for the wonderful gift. I know that she's really happy with the gift and I don't get tired of hearing her thanks.

I guess sometimes repeated "Thank Yous" are appreciated and other times it might be over the top?


What do you think?

[diesel_darlin]

Maybe CW is like me and just gets shy when they receive any sort of accolades for things they have done. The more you said thank you, the more attention was drawn to CW.

Not a bad thing at all. I think its wonderful that you said thank you so many times, because some people never bother to say it once. It just makes me go "aw shucks" and get all red faced. 

[oceanus]

I don't think shyness had anything to do with it.
I think one or two Thank yous would have sufficed.
The subsequent Thank You ribbing from others ~~>ouch.  Guess they're trying to make a point, and they have certainly done that.

[June24]

Maybe she thought that all the "thank you"s were a PA way of reminding her about her commitment so she wouldn't forget? Like maybe she thought that you didn't trust her to remember to do it, so you felt like you had to keep reminding her, but didn't want to come right out and tell her not to forget? That's the only reason for her annoyance that I can think of, and even that is a stretch.

[Daydream]

I’m not sure if the fact that people other than the original Coworker involved were telling the joke of the day means that Coworker told them how much you thanked her or if they were just paying attention to your conversations on their own. 

Either way, it wasn't very nice for them to joke about it.  You don’t seem bothered by it, though (I guess?), so that’s what really matters.

I don’t think you thanked her too much.  I especially see that last thank you the following day as being important because you were thanking her for completing the task.  It kind of wrapped everything up.

[Raintree]

I think I asked a similar question in another thread quite a while back. I decided after reading the replies that it IS possible to overthank.

In my scenario, I went out for dinner with a group of friends (5-6 people), and one fellow (John) had brought his uncle who was visiting. I assumed we were all paying for ourselves, so I didn't hold back on ordering. I ordered a second or third alcoholic drink, I had dessert, and so on. At the end, this uncle of John's, who I'd never met before, picked up the bill and paid the whole shot, for all of us. I thought that was incredibly generous, as for 5-6 people this wasn't cheap, and I was also a little embarrassed because if I'd known someone else was paying I'd have stuck with one drink instead of being extravagant. So I tried to contribute, and when he refused, I thanked him very much, and then later in the evening when we were at John's place, I commented again how generous it had been of him and what a lovely meal, then at the end of the evening as I was leaving I thanked again. John kind of hissed at me, "Look, stop thanking, it's no big deal, OK?" which I thought was kind of rude. But it did make me wonder if I overthanked. And then I ran it by e-hell and I forgot the responses exactly, but I did conclude to stop it with the overthanking (although I do still think a genuine thank you is warranted of course).

[JeseC]

It can definitely feel sort of awkward for those of us who like it to pass by without too much of a fuss.  After the 3rd or 4th time it's just sort of an "uhh...ok, you're welcome?"  Though in my case it's more the peril of having a foreign roommate.

[CakeEater]

Yeah, I think four thank-yous for a pretty simple job that wasn't that much of an effort is a bit excessive.

[TootsNYC]

Also, when I do things for people I am relatively close to, or that are really sort of my job, I don't like to be thanked much. It somehow makes it seem like I'm not that close to you, or not that connected to my job.

As if I did it only for the thanking, or as if the favor was REALLY big.

But, you know, if you're my friend (or my friendly coworker), you "belong" to me, and so doing things that are good for you is part of my "assignment." If you thank me for it, you're implying that it's not. Too much thanking actually makes me feel pushed away.

I have to remember this w/ my staff. I'm big on telling them how much I appreciate them, but I do remind myself now and then that staying late, or putting forth extra energy, etc., is part of their job description--*their* (i.e., belonging to them) job description--and not a personal favor to me.

So sometimes I choose different language: "I really appreciate it" or "It makes me feel really well backed up" or "I just want you to know I noticed."

[CrazyDaffodilLady]

Saying "thank you" is so ingrained in me that I probably say it too much.  But I'd rather be known as the person who says it too often than the person who doesn't say it enough.