Author Topic: Does my behaviour warrant the cold shoulder?  (Read 8991 times)

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oopsie

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Re: Does my behaviour warrant the cold shoulder?
« Reply #30 on: January 24, 2013, 12:40:35 AM »
I think your heart was in the right place, but I think the activity was a poor choice.  Your son obviously finds this extremely interesting and exciting, but to expect everyone else to basically attend a "lecture"--particularly at that age is a little much.  Hosts are supposed to choose activities they believe the majority of the guests will find entertaining, but not force them to participate.  They're six and they have to sit still and listen in school.  Asking for that kind of behavior at a birthday party is, in my opinion, just not a good decision.

I don't know the details of what the OP had, but when my boys were that age, they attended a number of parties where they had a reptile person come and talk and show off the animals. The kids were all fine. I think that you're assuming that it was all sit and listen, but that hasn't been my experience with this kind of thing in the past.  From the OP, it seems as if this zoo specializes in doing this kind of party. If the show wasn't appropriate for the age group, then it was the duty of the demonstrator to tell the OP that. The demonstrator also has some responsibility to maintain the kids focus -- if they aren't doing that well then they're either accepting jobs for the wrong age group, or just not competent.

In other words, I strongly disagree with you and the others who say that the presentation was the wrong thing to do for the party. 5-6yo kids are perfectly capable of paying attention for 30 minutes, even outside of school -- especially when they get a chance to pet a snake.

Yeah, I agree with artk2002. It is definitely entertainment that is geared to kids that age. It's not a boring lecture about animals, it's actually quite interactive and each child has the opportunity to touch or hold each animal if they wish. They are pretty well known and popular in my area and even my son's daycare had them in for a special day of fun (on a day when DS was absent unfortunately). I did the same kind of party with the same zoo company for my daughter's 6th birthday party with her classmates in attendance as well and it went off without a hitch (tarantulas, scorpions, reptiles, Burmese pythons and all).

The invitations I sent out also indicated that this zoo company would be coming to the party (which could be a reason why so many kids did end up attending). That said, the kids should not have been expecting one kind of party only to be disappointed/bored when they got another. There was no bait and switch going on here, lol!



VltGrantham

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Re: Does my behaviour warrant the cold shoulder?
« Reply #31 on: January 24, 2013, 09:45:28 AM »
Quote
Yeah, I agree with artk2002. It is definitely entertainment that is geared to kids that age. It's not a boring lecture about animals, it's actually quite interactive and each child has the opportunity to touch or hold each animal if they wish. They are pretty well known and popular in my area and even my son's daycare had them in for a special day of fun (on a day when DS was absent unfortunately). I did the same kind of party with the same zoo company for my daughter's 6th birthday party with her classmates in attendance as well and it went off without a hitch (tarantulas, scorpions, reptiles, Burmese pythons and all).

The invitations I sent out also indicated that this zoo company would be coming to the party (which could be a reason why so many kids did end up attending). That said, the kids should not have been expecting one kind of party only to be disappointed/bored when they got another. There was no bait and switch going on here, lol!

I understand--but my point is, that once it became clear that the majority of the party wasn't interested in the interactive demonstration going on, it would have been better to find something else for them to do rather than try and chide them for not being quiet during the demonstrations.  To me, that right there says that it wasn't exactly this exciting thing, (at least to your guests) if everybody had to be quiet, sit still, and put on their listening ears.  Nor do I think a six year old is really capable of understanding what kind of entertainment this is going to be.  If we had received an invitation like this, we would have thought it would be something very similar to what the local amusement park here does, which doesn't require a lot of sitting and/or being quiet.

However, this is, in general, why I think planned entertainment for children's birthday parties is a bad idea.  I also think it's better to stick with the guidelines of no more guests than the birthday boy or girl's age.  It's definitely a "know your audience" kind of thing.  If it's for the birthday girl or boy because they enjoy it, why not do it alone?  What difference does it make if there's an audience or not?

oopsie

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Re: Does my behaviour warrant the cold shoulder?
« Reply #32 on: January 24, 2013, 08:15:04 PM »
Quote
Yeah, I agree with artk2002. It is definitely entertainment that is geared to kids that age. It's not a boring lecture about animals, it's actually quite interactive and each child has the opportunity to touch or hold each animal if they wish. They are pretty well known and popular in my area and even my son's daycare had them in for a special day of fun (on a day when DS was absent unfortunately). I did the same kind of party with the same zoo company for my daughter's 6th birthday party with her classmates in attendance as well and it went off without a hitch (tarantulas, scorpions, reptiles, Burmese pythons and all).

The invitations I sent out also indicated that this zoo company would be coming to the party (which could be a reason why so many kids did end up attending). That said, the kids should not have been expecting one kind of party only to be disappointed/bored when they got another. There was no bait and switch going on here, lol!

I understand--but my point is, that once it became clear that the majority of the party wasn't interested in the interactive demonstration going on, it would have been better to find something else for them to do rather than try and chide them for not being quiet during the demonstrations.  To me, that right there says that it wasn't exactly this exciting thing, (at least to your guests) if everybody had to be quiet, sit still, and put on their listening ears.  Nor do I think a six year old is really capable of understanding what kind of entertainment this is going to be.  If we had received an invitation like this, we would have thought it would be something very similar to what the local amusement park here does, which doesn't require a lot of sitting and/or being quiet.

However, this is, in general, why I think planned entertainment for children's birthday parties is a bad idea.  I also think it's better to stick with the guidelines of no more guests than the birthday boy or girl's age.  It's definitely a "know your audience" kind of thing.  If it's for the birthday girl or boy because they enjoy it, why not do it alone?  What difference does it make if there's an audience or not?

I respectfully disagree.

Lynn2000

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Re: Does my behaviour warrant the cold shoulder?
« Reply #33 on: January 24, 2013, 08:51:52 PM »
No.  I think it is entirely possible that she didn't realize it was you, didn't really hear what you said or wasn't sure you were saying it to her.  If I don't have my glasses on (which is always) I sometimes don't recognize someone I don't know well until we are quite close.  I think you should just think the best and try again.

This is my take on it. The party thing doesn't sound so terribly egregious as to warrant a cut direct, which is basically what she was giving you if she heard you, realized it was you, and consciously chose to completely ignore the fact that you'd spoken. She could be that kind of person, of course. Or, it might have just been one of those awkward things that happens sometimes. I remember once when I lived in the dorms in college, my roommate got after me a bit for not acknowledging her as we passed in the hall--I was coming back from the shower and didn't have my glasses on, and I literally did not realize it was her even though we walked right by each other.

I think I would just look for another opportunity to interact with this woman and see if her cold behavior continued, or it was just a fluke.
~Lynn2000