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Thermostat Setting

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mumma to KMC:
I have a twice monthly meeting at a the home of a woman of a group I belong to. The first time I went to a meeting, the weather in our area had just turned cool, so the heater was on and it was pretty warm in the house. I thought it was just me, as I tend to like cooler temps (my house is usually set at 65 degrees (F)  in the Winter. However, every meeting we've had has been the same, it's been almost unbearably warm in the house.

At our last meeting, I was returning from the kitchen with a water and saw the thermostat was set at 79 degrees. (I wasn't snooping, I just happened to see it and glanced over.)

There has been a few side statements about how warm the house it, but during socializing, quickly brought up, then dropped. No one, as far as I know, has said anything to the host.  I wear light clothes to the house (skirt and a light shirt) and am still warm. I drink tons of water (I usually bring my own) while I'm there and try to sit near the door so I can catch a breeze when it is opened and I leave almost as soon as the meeting is done, but I am still very uncomfortable.

So my question is: Would it be okay to say something to the host about the temp in the house or should I just deal with it (the meetings generally go just over an hour)?

I'd start be wearing a layered outfit like a short sleeve shirt, sweater, and cardigan.  A little while after arriving, when the hostess is around, I'd remove the scarf and say something like " excuse me a sec, I need to put this with my purse".  Maybe 10 min later, I'd remove my cardigan.  Hopefully, the hostess will say "Are you too warm?" And you say "yes, a little but it's probably just me.". Then others in the group can say, "Oh, I'm a little warm, too.". If the hostess says nothing, then you know she has no plans to change the temperature.  This method works even better if you can recruit a co-disrober to remove their cardigan or jacket too.

I know most would take a director approach, but house temps seem so personal to some. 

I live in an apartment building, on the top (6th) floor.  I have knobs on the radiators to adjust a bit, but ultimately I do not control the heat. I cannot turn the radiators completely off.

My apartment is always always above 75f.  I know this because coconut oil is always liquid in my home.  Often in the winter its much hotter then that, sometimes very uncomfortably so.  I keep windows open, and if it gets too bad I will blast my a/c and while both help, its always above 75 in my home.  There are some drafts, which are welcomed.

But ultimately guests need to simply dress appropriately.  its warm, it is what it is.  Its not an unhealthy temperature, its just warm. 

Your host obviously has some reason the home is that temperature, either by choice or circumstance.  But its probably something she is accustomed to.  I think 79 is warm but not unbearable, so I think you should just dress appropriately and keep drinking water.

ETA: I live in NYC, where winter weather ranges from the 40's down to the 20's or 10's.  This has been a warm winter in mostly the 30's, but even during cold, below freezing outside, in fact especially when its super cold out, my apartment is warm to hot. 

It's not rude to say to a host. "excuse me, I'm feeling rather hot/cold. It is possible to turn the temperature down/up?" Then the host can reply by saying "no problem, I'll adjust the thermostat/ air conditioner" or "sorry but I'm getting over a cold / having a hot flush so I'd rather not adjust it".

I sympathize - my bookclub has a couple of ladies who are not comfortable unless it's very warm - one just completed a round of chemo, the other has problems with poor circulation - and we often meet at their houses.  Honestly, I do as you do, just dress light and drink lots of water - I figure I'm just there for a short time and don't think they should have cool off their houses before I arrive, keep it cooler than they like while I'm there, and heat it back up to their preferred temp after I go.


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