General Etiquette > Life...in general

Thermostat Setting

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Isilleke:

--- Quote from: Hmmmmm on January 12, 2013, 01:36:35 PM ---I'd start be wearing a layered outfit like a short sleeve shirt, sweater, and cardigan.  A little while after arriving, when the hostess is around, I'd remove the scarf and say something like " excuse me a sec, I need to put this with my purse".  Maybe 10 min later, I'd remove my cardigan.  Hopefully, the hostess will say "Are you too warm?" And you say "yes, a little but it's probably just me.". Then others in the group can say, "Oh, I'm a little warm, too.". If the hostess says nothing, then you know she has no plans to change the temperature.  This method works even better if you can recruit a co-disrober to remove their cardigan or jacket too.

I know most would take a director approach, but house temps seem so personal to some. 

--- End quote ---
This, to me, sounds PA and if someone did this to me I would be very tempted to not invite them again.

Not to say I don't sympathize with you, although here it's the other way around. At my house it goes from 60 at night to 68 during the day now that it's winter (meaning it's about 50 degrees outside) and I find this almost unbearable. There are nights I wake up because I'm so cold. But if I say something, I'm just wanting to throw away money, so I just walk around with a blanket most of the time.

I think, the best thing you can do is either don't go if you don't have to or dress accordingly. Yes, you can address the issue with her if you feel comfortable enough, but in the end it's her house so her decision.

SamiHami:

--- Quote from: secretrebel on January 12, 2013, 02:25:50 PM ---It's not rude to say to a host. "excuse me, I'm feeling rather hot/cold. It is possible to turn the temperature down/up?" Then the host can reply by saying "no problem, I'll adjust the thermostat/ air conditioner" or "sorry but I'm getting over a cold / having a hot flush so I'd rather not adjust it".

--- End quote ---

I disagree-I think it is rude to ask. It is her home; she gets to decide where the thermostat is set.

Hmmmmm:

--- Quote from: Isilleke on January 12, 2013, 02:54:41 PM ---
--- Quote from: Hmmmmm on January 12, 2013, 01:36:35 PM ---I'd start be wearing a layered outfit like a short sleeve shirt, sweater, and cardigan.  A little while after arriving, when the hostess is around, I'd remove the scarf and say something like " excuse me a sec, I need to put this with my purse".  Maybe 10 min later, I'd remove my cardigan.  Hopefully, the hostess will say "Are you too warm?" And you say "yes, a little but it's probably just me.". Then others in the group can say, "Oh, I'm a little warm, too.". If the hostess says nothing, then you know she has no plans to change the temperature.  This method works even better if you can recruit a co-disrober to remove their cardigan or jacket too.

I know most would take a director approach, but house temps seem so personal to some. 

--- End quote ---
This, to me, sounds PA and if someone did this to me I would be very tempted to not invite them again.

Not to say I don't sympathize with you, although here it's the other way around. At my house it goes from 60 at night to 68 during the day now that it's winter (meaning it's about 50 degrees outside) and I find this almost unbearable. There are nights I wake up because I'm so cold. But if I say something, I'm just wanting to throw away money, so I just walk around with a blanket most of the time.

I think, the best thing you can do is either don't go if you don't have to or dress accordingly. Yes, you can address the issue with her if you feel comfortable enough, but in the end it's her house so her decision.

--- End quote ---

Passive, I agree, but I'm not sure how it is aggressive. Do you feel removing a cardigan is always wrong or is it use of non-verbal cues that your guests are uncomfortable that you don't like?  Or is it the suggestion that she recruit someone else.  The OP said others have also remarked that the room is warm just not directly to the hostesses. Or do you think it cant be pulled off without the hostess knowing there isnadditional motive? I'm really curious about which action it is that would ban me as a guest in your home. 

Honestly, I'm not sure how you dress appropriately for a 78 degree room.  That sounds way too warm for anything but a sundress.

Amava:
You could always take my father-in-law's approach and yell "Goodness it's an oven in here!!" when you walk in.
Just kidding, don't do that.  ;D

I'm sorry but if the host has the temperature up so high, that probably means that she likes it warm. You can say something to her, and if she is very nice she might drop the temperature a bit and put on a sweater and / or cardigan herself. She doesn't /have/ to, in my opinion, it is after all her house, but maybe you could just ask. I am super-easily cold myself, but if I knew my guests were uncomfy because of the heat, I'd crank it down a bit.

At least she /can/ drop the temperature if she wants to. Try visiting my grandparents some time. They have an old-fashioned stove... and goodness, that thing burns. Must have been at least 30 Celsius (86 Fahrenheit)  there when we last visited them. That was too much even for me!  And that was in the middle of the winter!  ;D

Amava:

--- Quote from: SamiHami on January 12, 2013, 03:10:03 PM ---
--- Quote from: secretrebel on January 12, 2013, 02:25:50 PM ---It's not rude to say to a host. "excuse me, I'm feeling rather hot/cold. It is possible to turn the temperature down/up?" Then the host can reply by saying "no problem, I'll adjust the thermostat/ air conditioner" or "sorry but I'm getting over a cold / having a hot flush so I'd rather not adjust it".

--- End quote ---

I disagree-I think it is rude to ask. It is her home; she gets to decide where the thermostat is set.

--- End quote ---

Yes it is her decision but if she is made aware that the guests are uncomfortable then she can make an /informed/ decision.
If I were the host, I'd like to just be told how they feel.

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