I'm having some trouble with this and I'd like to ask some advice.
DH and I are in the same profession. We are strongly considering moving to another country as guest workers in this profession. We have interviews scheduled with a well-known company that operates in this destination (let's call it Country A) and hires a large force of expat workers. To be clear, the process is long and an interview is not a surefire indicator by any stretch that we may be offered a job. If it all pans out, we won't be moving for another 6+ months.
Of course, we have been discussing this with our parents. Now that interviews have been scheduled, my mom is getting a bit weepy at the thought of a potential faraway move. My mom is like this, she hasn't told us not to go/consider it or anything, just that she'd miss being close to us a lot, etc. We have never asked her (or anyone else) not to discuss this with the rest of the family, and I know they have been doing just that - not a big deal, until I got The Email from my Great Aunt Fern.
Great Aunt Fern was a late child, so she is closer in age to my mom than she is to her own siblings (Fern's own child is just a year younger than me). Fern thinks she knows everything. For example, whenever travel is discussed, she wants to assert her expertise over every location. We cannot discuss travels at a family gathering without Fern butting in to tell us about all the "fabulous" (meaning, expensive) places she stayed/ate/dined with nobility in the same travel location. I'm not sure this is entirely relevant, but it IS part of why I don't love socializing with Fern. She has also said some pretty rude/nasty things to DH in a "joking" way (meaning, if someone calls her on it, her reaction is wounded innocence). We usually just ignore her behavior and avoid bringing up some topics in front of her.
After this latest round of holidays, I received a VERY long and unsolicited email from Fern about our potential move. You see, Fern lived for about six months in Country B, which borders Country A. The email included a vast list of reasons why I should be considering a move to B instead of A, inquiries about what I would possibly want to do with living in A, and on and on (showcasing her expertise!) about why Country A is such a poor and dismal choice. This is all advice that I feel is a bit condescending and was completely unsolicited.
So far, I have ignored the email, which is getting *harder* because she keeps texting me asking me to reply. My mother even called and said, "Fern said she put a lot of thought into an email she sent you recently and wonders when you will reply." I didn't discuss it with mom, just told her I've been busy (true). Essentially, Fern's reasons for choosing B over A are invalid for our main purpose in going to A. If we go and stay in A for 3-5 years, it would be very easy to save enough to buy a house outright upon our return... in pretty much any location we chose... and continue working normally from there on out. We own our home now but of course have a mortgage, like most people. We love the idea of the adventure, as well, and knowing that there are some hardships in relocating to A has us feeling a sense of a good challenge more than dread or fear.
Here is the email I am tinkering with in reply.
Thank you for your concern in this matter. I can tell you learned a lot about X culture during your time in Country B. You have given DH and I lot of good information.
I don't feel the need to justify our reasons to her. I don't think we should have to explain to her, nor do I feel like I should have to tell her that I've been doing 6+ months of research on expat life in Country A, so it's not like I have no clue about what I'd be stepping into. The biggest thing I worry about is that my reply to her email will seem very brusque and potentially rude -- but I am not interested in encouraging discussion/debate on the topic.