Polite response to unwanted email?

[PurpleFrog]

Maybe I'm being petty, but it would stick in my craw to say "thanks" in any way, shape, or form to this woman.  You received the email, you read the email, you want to acknowledge the email (to shut her up).  But the email was not written with kindness or concern for you, so gratitude is not called for, to say the least.

This is what I thinking. I probably reply for a quite life but with something like:

Dear Aunt Fern,

I received your email, and read the information included and filed it appropriately.

CrazyDaffodilLady.

Just neglecting to mention the appropriate place to file it was the recycle bin.

[Snooks]

I think either or these are fine.

Dear Aunt Fern,

You clearly put a great deal of thought into your email, which was undoubtedly well meant.  Unfortunately, none of the information you provided is relevant to opportunities we are pursuing, nor to the reasons we are pursuing them.  We do appreciate your well wishes as we continue!

Regards,
GSNW

*Optional* P.S. of course, should we eventually go to Country A, we will be delighted to send you the details as personally experienced, to round out your supply of travel related monologues!

Dear Aunt Fern,

We did receive the email that you sent to us the other day regarding the possibility of us moving to Country A.  I'm not sure what information you were trying to give us, since your email focused on Country B, not Country A, and the jobs we are applying for are in Country A.  We'll be sure to let you know if we need any help at a later date. 

Love,

GNSW

[LazyDaisy]

I think either or these are fine.

Dear Aunt Fern,

You clearly put a great deal of thought into your email, which was undoubtedly well meant.  Unfortunately, none of the information you provided is relevant to opportunities we are pursuing, nor to the reasons we are pursuing them.  We do appreciate your well wishes as we continue!

Regards,
GSNW

*Optional* P.S. of course, should we eventually go to Country A, we will be delighted to send you the details as personally experienced, to round out your supply of travel related monologues!

Dear Aunt Fern,

We did receive the email that you sent to us the other day regarding the possibility of us moving to Country A.  I'm not sure what information you were trying to give us, since your email focused on Country B, not Country A, and the jobs we are applying for are in Country A.  We'll be sure to let you know if we need any help at a later date. 

Love,

GNSW

I'd go with the first option in this. The second one leaves an opening for her to AGAIN explain why Country B is a superior choice and why you should be applying for jobs there. The first leaves no opening for her to argue her point and like a previous poster says, puts her on polite notice that her interference is not welcome. Be prepared for a pouty "well, I was only trying to help" at which point you keep repeating, "we appreciate your concern, but we're going with country A."

[Roe]

Dear Aunt Fern

How kind of you to take an interest.  See you soon!

GSNW

[snappylt]

{snip}...

Here is the email I am tinkering with in reply.

Dear Fern,
Thank you for your concern in this matter.  I can tell you learned a lot about X culture during your time in Country B.  You have given DH and I lot of good information.

Love,
Me.

... {snip}

I think your own idea of a reply is fine (although, I, too, enjoyed reading the many suggestions here).  I like the way you have not started a discussion with her, because the topic is not open for discussion (with her, anyway)!  You've been polite so you can hold your head up that you've taken the high road, and now you'll be able to say you've replied.

I'll bet you'll hear more, though, because I'll bet she won't be able to stand it that you've not directly addressed her points.  (After all, she is an expert!)  So, I'll bet you'll get to practice other polite bean-dipping sorts of tactics when she follows up.  (Hope I'm wrong!)

Good luck on this all.

[GSNW]

Here is the reply I have just sent:

Hi Aunt Fern,

Yes, I am aware of the things you mentioned about living in Country A.  However, the company we are applying with only operates in Country A, so Country B is not going to be possible except, perhaps, for a visit.  We are very definite in our choice of this particular company, most notably, their great record and reputation among their expat work force.

(I did go on at this point to discuss some other things DH and I have on the horizon, more or less to soften the blow of rejecting her expertise, but none of those things are pertinent to the issue of our potential move).

Love, GSNW

[ladymaureen]

I think that was a great response -- good job.
I am fairly sure I know which company you are speaking of, as well as what countries are A and B. I wish you the very best of luck with the application!

[joraemi]

Good work!  I can't wait for Fern to reply.(....so you can come and tell us all about it! :cough: :cough:)

[laud_shy_girl]

Good work!  I can't wait for Fern to reply.(....so you can come and tell us all about it! :cough: :cough:)

pod   

[joraemi]

Did Fern reply??

[pierrotlunaire0]

What I found most irritating is Fern's insistence that you HAD to acknowledge her very important email (VIE!).  Talk about being full of yourself: Fern will not be ignored!

[Mikayla]

Fern has never been to Country A, tourist visas aren't granted for that location except in circumstances that don't apply to Fern. 

I agree updates will be interesting, but this really struck me.  It's probably killing her that you're going to one of the few places she can't.

[chibichan]

[GreenEyedHawk]

^^ HAHAHA!


I think Mikayla has a good point...she's probably about to burst into flames at the idea you're going someplace she can't. 

[GSNW]

Funny enough, Fern did not see fit to reply!  Another funny thing about the email... she concluded with, "and Maggie really thought I should tell you all of this," Maggie being my mom's younger sister.  Maggie is one of those awesome, wonderful, fairy godmother type aunts and we have always been incredibly close.  I talked to Maggie after I replied and we had a chuckle because she did not, in any way, endorse the email. 

That fern meme made me snortylaugh.  It really is perfect.  Maybe now Fern can concentrate on cajoling her own child to come home - my cousin and his wife are currently teaching in his birth country and have just re-upped for two more years because they love it so much!  Fern disapproves.