How do you relieve anxiety?

[Ceallach]

I have social anxiety, and I find rationalizing and using logic helps me the most e.g. "what is the worst that could happen?" etc.  Sometimes taking the time to think things through helps a lot and prevents me stewing over it later.

I've had this problem since I was a small child though so have lots of practice in coping with it!

In general I also find that a healthy lifestyle helps - good yummy nutritious food (no diet rubbish),  physical activity, and a regular sleep routine.

[SamiHami]

I suffer from depression and anxiety and have taken every medication known to humanity through the years. I've started meditating regularly and it's made an amazing difference. I've been able to cut my meds in half and feel happier and more in control. I very highly recommend it.

[jpcher]

You may want to look into getting advice from someone professional IRL. Anxiety can be complicated.

Thanks. I do appreciate and understand that comment.

My thought was to pass on self-help information before escalating it to a professional.

Of course, if self-help doesn't cut the mustard then professional guidance would definitely be the next step.

It sounds like you are asking so you can pass on the advise to someone else.  I would agree with getting professional help.   

Yes, I'm passing this info on to someone else. The conundrum is that she gets anxious about seeing a counselor. "I'm suppose to tell a stranger about my inner deep dark problems? What are they going to think of me?"


Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. I will pass the info on and follow up with strong encouragement for professional help if there is no improvement.


SamiHami -- do you have any good meditation sites that you can recommend?

When I'm anxious, I'm usually worrying about some outcome yet to come-therefore, it's out of my control. 

I ask myself, "Have I done the Very Best I could about x situation?" 

Then I ask, "I can't control the future.  What can I control?"  Usually this means my environment.  I fill the time with useful but not to complex tasks-is the laundry clean?  Can I push the vacuum around?  What about the kitchen?  What's for dinner?, etc.  I tell myself I can face anything better with a clean environment.

The "Life is out of my control" seems to be the core of the anxiety.




Again, I really appreciate everybody's help . . . anxiety is something that I know nothing about. I'm a roll it off your shoulder type of person. After all, "tomorrow is another day."

[heyyoume]

I think what works also depends on when the anxiety is at its worst.  At the moment I have several significant stressors because most of them are out of my control my anxiety can skyrocket if I let it.  For me it is always worst as I am trying to fall asleep, so the no caffeine, no sugar in the evening, turn off TV an hour before bed, and a long walk with the dogs in the early evening, all help me get through that bit of the day best. 

I can sympathise with the no therapist thing - I have tried therapy twice and both times ended up with a counsellor who made things worse, not better. For me I have found that a form of self managed CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) helps.  By that I mean identifying the thoughts that trigger or escalate the anxiety and then finding a way of neutralizing them.  A simple example might be if I feel fat and frumpy when I look in the mirror, instead of thinking - man I look really fat and frumpy, I think, wow - that is a really pretty necklace I have on today.   It's not about ignoring the anxiety but about figuring out the underlying cause and addressing it.   For me, even when the anxiety has been triggered by depression or something intangible that isn't linked to life events I have always been able to lift myself out by "thinking positively".

 

[SamiHami]

Jpcher, if your friend has a smartphone, there are tons of meditations available for free download. That's what I do; I download to my phone and use my earbuds to listen.

I hope your friend finds relief soon. As for the therapy thing, I've been in therapy off and on through the years and haven't found it to be particularly helpful. The therapists all said good things and genuinely tried to help, but it just went nowhere.

[MrsJWine]

For me, what works:

1. Exercise like a crazy person.
2. Sleep in decent quantity.
3. Tunnel vision.

1: This isn't always easy to do. My husband's work provides a basic gym membership (we pay the small amount extra for childcare). We also have an apartment gym. A lot of workplaces have this benefit, but a lot of people don't know about it. I know it's hard to fit workouts in if you have a job, but if it's possible, it's extremely helpful. My life has completely changed since we got this membership. You don't need a gym to work out, of course; but certain climates make it really hard during the cold of winter or height of summer.

2: I've had lifelong insomnia, and it's gotten worse every year since I graduated high school. I finally reached my breaking point a year and a half ago and got myself some help. Sleep medication has also changed my life. My doctor told me that anxiety and sleep deprivation go hand in hand. If you're anxious, you can't sleep, so you get more anxious, so you get even worse at sleeping, and so on. I finally started sleeping again, and 99% of my anxiety evaporated. I still have bad days, but it's all but gone most of the time.

3: Certain things still overwhelm me. Monday morning, after a lazy weekend, only doing the basic cleaning, I look at my apartment and wonder how I'll get it all done. I force myself to only look at one thing at a time. I make a to-do list, but then I completely forget about it unless it's time to check off a task and look up the next one. Before I know it, I'm halfway done and surprised at how quickly it went.

[Softly Spoken]

Yes there is a stigma attached to disordered thoughts/emotions, but I will say that the main reason I am less anxious and depressed now is because I got therapy and I am in a group now. There is no judging, only support and it feels awesome to know other people understand what you are going through.

Meditation is great and relaxation techniques are awesome. But the best thing I learned in group to get you through anxiety "in the now" and become more present is breathing. Not deep breathing like meditation; I will try to explain:

It is all about focus because you get anxiety when your mind spirals and you are just mentally spinning your wheels and stuck in fight/flight. To disengage you have to stop the thought cycle and actually retrain your neuron pathways - it sounds scarily scientific but it is ridiculously easy.

You are aware of your breath. You think "breathing in, breathing out." You don't try and control your thoughts or get rid of them or anything. You always return to your breath.
So instead of
Thought A) Random Thought --> B) Bad Thought --> C) Worse Thought --> D) Even Worse Thought --> E) Even More Panic and Despair --> F) Core Negative Belief ad naseum, back to A etc.
you get
Thought A) Random Thought --> B) Breathing in/Breathing out --> C) Random Thought/Better Thought/Worse Thought --> D) Breathing in/Breathing out --> E) Better/Worse/Random Thought

Studies have shown that people who do this daily can handle stress way better.

It's all about breaking the cycle of anxiety.

[bloo]

For me, what works:

1. Exercise like a crazy person.
2. Sleep in decent quantity.
3. Tunnel vision.

1: This isn't always easy to do. My husband's work provides a basic gym membership (we pay the small amount extra for childcare). We also have an apartment gym. A lot of workplaces have this benefit, but a lot of people don't know about it. I know it's hard to fit workouts in if you have a job, but if it's possible, it's extremely helpful. My life has completely changed since we got this membership. You don't need a gym to work out, of course; but certain climates make it really hard during the cold of winter or height of summer.

2: I've had lifelong insomnia, and it's gotten worse every year since I graduated high school. I finally reached my breaking point a year and a half ago and got myself some help. Sleep medication has also changed my life. My doctor told me that anxiety and sleep deprivation go hand in hand. If you're anxious, you can't sleep, so you get more anxious, so you get even worse at sleeping, and so on. I finally started sleeping again, and 99% of my anxiety evaporated. I still have bad days, but it's all but gone most of the time.

3: Certain things still overwhelm me. Monday morning, after a lazy weekend, only doing the basic cleaning, I look at my apartment and wonder how I'll get it all done. I force myself to only look at one thing at a time. I make a to-do list, but then I completely forget about it unless it's time to check off a task and look up the next one. Before I know it, I'm halfway done and surprised at how quickly it went.

This was pretty much what I do.

1. Exercise definitely!  And not just moderate but heart-pumping, laying on the floor gasping is what helps me with both anxiety and depression.
2. While I don't have insomnia - cutting sugar out of my diet also helps me to stay calm and focused.
3. Like MrsJWine, staying focused is important. I have to mentally switch tracks to not overthink things I have no control over and concentrate on what I can control!