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multilingual rudeness (vent)

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gadget--gal:
You'd think people would know that it's rude to speak about another person when they're right there in front of them. Just because you're speaking in another language (and you think they can't understand) does not make it permissible!!

I've noticed that a particular "people" do this a lot. (Of course, the name of this group is neither here nor there). I've spent most of my life in this part of town with a lot of these people and I picked up a couple of words in primary school from kids of said people. So I cant tell when they're talking about me.

On one occasion, I had some computer printouts to give to a neighbour. (I was passing her these printouts because she had confided in me about some dire circumstances in which she had found herself and was enquiring about whether I could give some advice from a professional perspective). So, when I got to their house, her father was outside. I ask if his daughter is around. He put his head in the front door and calls for her. He doesn't say "there's someone here" he says "there's a [gadget-gal's ethicity] person here" (!) I doubt he'd have said that if he thought I had had understood.

On another occasion, I'm on my way home and a little girl (about 4 or 5) on my street starts making racial remarks again, in said language. She's staring right at me. Right then and teenage girl comes out of the house (but she's not taking much notice of the kid.) I asked her "is that your sisters?" she says "yeah" So I just said "well, teach her some manners" and left it at that.

Last night, I stopped at a convenience store on my way home. As I'm paying ofr my items some other guy who's sitting down starts talkign about people od my race, my country etc. and he keeps going on and on. Silly me I was looking at him thinking he'd somehow get a clue. If I wasn't mid-transaction, I'd have walked out of the shop.

My first language is English but my mum and the rest of my family don't do this. When there's a third party in the room, they either end the conversation or switch to English. It's only polite!

Ko-Ko:
That is so rude! My mother had a related problem at her former workplace. She worked with three other women, they all spoke Hindi. They would speak Hindi to each other all day, and my mother could join in the conversation because she did not know what they were talking about. Needless to say, she did not feel very welcome.

Ko-Ko

blue_bunny_paz:
I agree that it's just not on. I grew up in a Welsh speaking part of Wales and from a very early age we had it drummed into us to not speak in Welsh in front of people who would not understand. Saying offensive things is really not on.

I used to have a flatmate at uni from country Y. all her friends would come round and speak Y-ian, often obviously about us. Until I learnt the Y-ian for "that's not a nice thing to say."

It's one thing, for example, to talk to a group of people in your own language if you are in a public place where you are not excluding anyone and you are not commenting on people around you. For example, if I were on holiday in France shopping I wouldn't feel guilty pointing out cheese rather than fromage to someone I was with. But I certainly wouldn't start pointing out how stupid everyone around me was.

Alida:
My husband was raised in a foreign country.  Now, he doesn't look like most people seem to expect people from this country to look, but he's as fluent in that tongue as a native.  I speak it, also, but not to the detgree he does.

Maybe I'm going to eHell for this, but I will step into conversations like that, especially if the people are speaking in that language for the sole purpose of being rude.

DollyPond:
Gadget-gal,

Since you can understand and to some extent speak their language just learn the phrase for "I can understand what you are saying.  Please stop."  I have learned this phrase in Spanish because, although not bi-lingual, I've learned enough Spanish to travel to Spanish speaking areas.  The phrase works very well on the random people (usually shopkeepers) who start to talk about "La tourista".  You don't need to engage in any further conversation with them.

Hope this helps.
Dolly

Edited to add: I don't mean this as any slur to the Latin community - I actually love to travel to these areas.  The incident reminded me of the time that I was in a shop and overheard the shopkeeper say " Charge her double. She's a tourist."  The above phrase along with " I don't pay double (No pago doble)" and walking out of the shop made an impression.

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