multilingual rudeness (vent)

[Venus193]

Kingsrings, I agree with that with regard to social situations.  I certainly don't think that refusing to learn the language of an adopted country presents any advantages.  The friend whose grandmother wouldn't learn English (after coming here relatively young) entered kindergarten without English.  I suspect that this woman (whom I never met) did this in order to make others do things for her.

[MerryRaven]

But once you live in another country, I feel that it is being rude and disrespectful to that country and it's people to speak only your native language unless you are in private, such as at home or are speaking to someone back home on a phone call.

So a person who doesn't learn languages very well should not move to another country?  It is not rude or disrespectful to not be able to speak another language. 

My DH lived in Germany for 3 years and only learned a couple of words and he was trying.

[MsEva]

After you view this series a couple of times, you can watch the romantic, sexy novelas on the Spanish channels.  The one in this post starts on the 15th.

Yes, but if you learn Afrikaans you can watch really bad soaps like 7de Laan and criticize the terrible English subtitles.  

This brings up a cool memory. A few years back DH participated in the Nike World Masters Games in Portland, OR. He plays baseball and they played a team from South Africa. The SA team did all their signals verbally - in Afrikaans. It was the coolest thing I'd ever heard or seen on a baseball field 

[HushHush]

One of the zip codes my office handles is very heavily Spanish-speaking so occationally I will have to handle a client who claims to not speak English.  I still send all my notices out in English as I don't have time to have everything translated into Spanish and its a miracle that all the information I've asked for comes back from someone who claims they don't speak the language.

It is extremely common for a client to claim to not speak English if they don't like their current worker and want to be moved to a different one.  My state has had to institute and English only rule in all offices so the foreign language speakers wouldn't have conversations that not everyone could understand.

What bothers me the most is the number of immigrants that don't even try to learn English after moving here twenty years ago.  I've seen them in many languages so I'm not picking on any particular one.  If I moved to France, I'd try to learn to speak even marginal French!


Charlotte

[Lauren]

I know that some girls learn basic commands in other languages so that they can tell what the other team was telling each other. (even better was one of the state teams in my country who used the most basic signal there is and got away with it for four years!)

I think the best sports story was when a (let's say) Russian soccer player abused the (French) ref in Russian. The ref turned around and calmly sent the player off in Russian. That's just pure class.

[kingsrings]

But once you live in another country, I feel that it is being rude and disrespectful to that country and it's people to speak only your native language unless you are in private, such as at home or are speaking to someone back home on a phone call.

So a person who doesn't learn languages very well should not move to another country?  It is not rude or disrespectful to not be able to speak another language. 

My DH lived in Germany for 3 years and only learned a couple of words and he was trying.

"Trying" being the operative word. He was trying his best to learn another language. And his stay was only three years, it wasn't like he was there a real long time and never learned the language. There are some people who move to other countries who never learn the native language just out of plain arrogance, laziness, and disrespect. And while learning languages is difficult for some people, it can still be accomplished if they really want to and work hard at it. Just because something is hard doesn't mean you give up on it. Many other people have done it before them, so there is no reason why they can't do it, too. If you're going to live in another country for the long-run, you need to learn their language.

[HogwartsAlum]

I've had my share of people speaking about me in other languages stories and do find it rude.

But the most uncomfortable I had ever been was when I was working with a physic at the "Haunted Hotel" I worked at. She was very close to one of our "guests that wouldn't leave" and he would talk to her about me while I was in the room with her. From what she said, he thought I was attractive and would say the most sexist things possible. Sometimes she would just say "shut up" to him while we were in the midst of a conversation and then look really embarrased at me.

It was rather disconcerting. I mean really? I can deal with rude people who are there, but had no idea how to handle this situation, and considering I'm not a big believer I sometimes wondered if it was just her opinions coming through.

ROTFL!!!  That just struck me funny, that you can be on the OTHER SIDE and still be etiquettely challenged!

Whether they were her opinions or Ghostly Guest's, I probably wouldn't have said anything if it were me, unless I thought there was some danger to you. 

[Betsy]

Okay, but if any of you were in a non-English speaking country, would you speak in your language only?

When I went to Paris (on my own for 4 days) I made a concerted effort to speak french to the shop-keepers or at least only substitue the english word that I didnt know and then switch back. It just didnt seem fair to expect people to come to the US and speak English but go to non-english speaking countries and speak english myself. I also tried to be exactly polite but Im sure I messed up and used the familiar you more than once.

[Telmereth]

Something happened to me on the bus today that I just had to add to this thread.
I have long hair which I was wearing in ponytail today. Evidently it was draped a little over the seat back, because the person behind me kept pulling on it! At one point the bus stopped suddenly and as I jerked forward some of my hair was pulled out! (Ouch!) The person responsible laughed and said something in Spanish. My friend - who was next to me - is fluent in Spanish and she gave me a horrified look. When we got off the bus she took me to one side and told me that the person behind me had said 'Urgh, hair!' and his friend added 'moulting like a dog!'
I was shocked! But I have to admit it was kind of funny!

[kethria]

These things happen to me all the time. I'm American and Colombian, but look more "white" than the average Colombian. I went to college there... anyhoo  I digress. There have been several instances where I finally have had to say something to people who are saying things about me. Usually latino men commenting on my appearance. I generally say out loud, to  no one in particular "People really should be careful about what they say in public, because you never know who is listening..." That works. 

[Pinky830]

I grew up in an area that was about half and half two ethnicities with a lot of history between them.

An acquaintance of my dad's went to visit a man of the other race. He was sometimes called a not-too-complimentary nickname by his family, but Dad's friend really shouldn't have been using it.

So the wife answers the door and Dad's friend said, "Is Mr. Nickname here?"

The wife looked over her shoulder and yelled loudly, "Realname! Some [race] guy's here to see you!"

Cracked Dad's friend up, and he got the point.