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Technology Multitasking

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Venus193:
Is this so common today that I shouldn't be upset if the person I'm talking to on the phone is also doing Facebook? 

This is the same person who used to only half converse sometimes because she was fixated on television.  She hasn't had a TV set in several years (not by choice) and Facebook is always there (as opposed to a TV program that doesn't have a repeat showing), I think it's rude to be doing both at the same time unless we're talking about what's going on.  I couldn't quite figure out how to handle this and I hung up feeling like an idiot for saying nothing.

Am I really off the beam here or am I justified in thinking this is rude?  If you think it is, what would you do?

Iris:
I will check facebook in a relevant way, i.e. "Oh, yes, I saw something about that on facebook the other day, do you want me to look it up?" type thing, but I don't think that's rude because it's part of the conversation. I ONCE was sitting at my computer desk and almost without thinking just clicked on facebook to check my newsfeed and updates. So I can attest that you really are not focused on the phone conversation when you do that.

What worked in my case was the person I was speaking to had to repeat themselves and I woke up to myself and realised how rude I was being and never did it again. If your friend is still doing it, and it's an extension of an old habit I don't know what you can do other than get off the phone when you realise that they are not paying attention. Just say "Oh well, I can tell you're busy. 'Bye!"

Alternatively, my brother used to check emails when he was talking to me. He stopped the day that I blithely started telling him the tale of the elephants that were walking around at work and what a hassle that was and it took him a full minute to go "Wait. What?"

Mental Magpie:
The Eagle does this and it makes me so incredibly angry because I find it very disrespectful.  I can tell when he's paying more attention to whatever he's looking than he is to me.  When he does it now, I say, "You're obviously busy with something else.  I'll let you go, bye."  I so very badly want to say, "...something more important," but I feel like that would be PA.

Sometimes, the conversation goes like this, too:

Magpie:  You're obviously busy with something else.  Call me back when you're not so busy.
Eagle:  I'm not busy, I'm just reading Facebook.
Magpie:  Well, I don't want to sit here in silence while you read it.  Call me back when you're not busy.  Bye.

Moray:
How do you know they're Facebooking? Are they talking with you about it, or can you just tell they're distracted? More to the point, how do you perceive FB as being different than any other distraction?

If they're engaged in the conversation, then I don't know that you have a right to be annoyed, anymore than if they were making a cup of coffee or had a show on in the background. If they're not engaged in the conversation, then address that. "Friend, you seem really distracted. Let's talk some other time when you're less busy."

Mental Magpie:

--- Quote from: Moray on January 15, 2013, 12:49:00 PM ---How do you know they're Facebooking? Are they talking with you about it, or can you just tell they're distracted? More to the point, how do you perceive FB as being different than any other distraction?

If they're engaged in the conversation, then I don't know that you have a right to be annoyed, anymore than if they were making a cup of coffee or had a show on in the background. If they're not engaged in the conversation, then address that. "Friend, you seem really distracted. Let's talk some other time when you're less busy."

--- End quote ---

You know, I just automatically assumed that's what was happening and that's how the OP knew (that she could tell her friend was distracted and was not fully paying attention to her).  I agree that if the person is still fully engaged in the conversation, there is no right to be upset.  I think that's also why I assumed the OP's friend wasn't engaged because why else would the OP be annoyed?

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