Right to refusal?

[AylaM]

That is an interesting question.

I've just graduated and am currently seeking employment.  I've looked at jobs that I really want and put in applications to jobs that I'd be ok with, but wouldn't be my first choice.  So I've definitely thought about this.

I think that blarg314 had a good point about asking for time to decide contacting people for updates on the process.  But I know that in my case if you aren't chosen you'd never receive a rejection letter.  You just never hear back from the company.

In the case where you had no idea that you'd be offered job B?  I'd say you should resign from job a a gracefully as possible.  You can be happy at job A if you didn't have the option of job B, but knowing you could have had job B and don't would likely make you unhappy.  Unhappy employees aren't usually the best employees.  I think a company would prefer that you resign than have you turn into some disgruntled employee.

I guess they'd possibly prefer that you would not resign, but if you are going to I think the best way is to be polite.  I like the idea of thanking them for the opportunity and apologizing for the inconvenience.

[fountainof]

I will admit if an empoyee did this to me I would royally peeved and the person should never ever apply for us again as he/she wouldn't be rehired.  That said I would just move on and start the application process again and try to figure out where we went wrong missing that we were the person B list and try not to repeat the problem with a similar hire.

On the flip side I would ask for some time to consider the offer and if I took it I would stay and figure I accepted the position for a reason.  I don't generally believe in "dream jobs" though.  How do you know what a job is like before you have worked there a while, pay and benefits are only a part of the work environment.  I guess you could want something more based on your studies but often the real world is nothing like the school world and a subject that seemed interesting in the education setting just doesn't work for you.  Many people work in areas that have nothing to do with their degrees.

[DavidH]

It's a tough call depending on the circumstances and jobs.  Very few jobs are truly once in a lifetime offers, particularly right out of school, so it is key to decide how much better it really will be.  If one does leave Job A to take Job B, the other thing to consider is it positively commits them to the second job for a while, since a third company who sees two jobs in 4 months will be highly unlikely to hire the person. 

If I thought i might find myself in that situation, I'd do as much as I could to find out Job B's decision before taking Job A, even to the point of calling Job B and saying that I had another offer I had to reply to, but preferred Job B and do they know when they might be making a decision.  Since most candidates right out of school will be interviewing in multiple places, it doesn't seem like an unreasonable question in that type of situation.  In addition, if Job B was so put off by the question that they wouldn't hire you for asking it, does that really suggest a place you'd want to work?

If I thought I might hear from Job B soon, I might call Job A and try to get a bit more time to make the decision, saying it's a major decision and I just would like another few days to think it over.  In my experience, that is reasonable, provided the extension you are asking for is a few days, not weeks. 

The potential for burning a bridge is really high in this type of situation, so while I think it is acceptable, I wouldn't do it.  From an etiquette perspective, you can be polite about it either way, but it does seem bad form to leave a job that soon unless it is dramatically different than was represented.  If the job was far different than represented, then while the risks are similar, I wouldn't feel committed to a company or manager to misrepresented a job they were hiring for.

[TootsNYC]

I've had people do this to me. And what they've done is to exert SOME effort to help me and the company with the transition. They gave me as long a notice period as they could; they helped round up candidates; etc.

And I don't hold it against people because--you know what? I've seen people leave a job to work for us, and then get laid off 1 month later. Does the company feel bad? Maybe; us managers sure do. But we can't CHANGE anything.

So I would say, take the new job. Do all you can (even if it's just a regretful tone of voice) to soften the blow and make yourself look like a responsible person. Try to keep the bridge from smoldering, and know that most of the time, it is the *people* who will either hold or drop the grudge. And how you treat them, personally, will make a difference in how they feel.

I think especially right out of school--take the job that points you in the right direction. Because that first direction can be very important.

[Roodabega]

Many years ago, I started hearing that my company was going to outsource IT so I started looking for work.  After a month or two of actively looking, I ended up with two interviews in the same week.   I went to my first one on a Monday, and by Wednesday had a job offer.  I let them know that I needed a few days to consider the offer. 

I went to the next one on Thursday, and at the end of the interview, I let them know that I had a job offer on the table, and I would appreciate it if they could let me know within a few days if they were interested so that I could respond to the first offer.  Job one was a slightly higher salary, but job two was in a much preferred location.

I ended up getting job two and thanked the people at job one, but told them that I had received a job in the preferred location, and wouldn't be going with them.  I think it worked out OK, because the first company eventually went out of business, and I've been at the second one for a long time.

If it's possible, I would hold off on accepting Job A, and let the people at Job B know you had an existing offer, so would appreciate a timely response.   If you know about the offer from A at the time of the interview at Job B, I would let them know then.

[blarg314]

I do think that if company A does not allow the prospective hire time to think or consider/wait for other offers (ie, it's a now or never thing) then they shouldn't be surprised when they get acceptances followed by people backing out for a better opportunity.