Author Topic: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL  (Read 22762 times)

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Tia2

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In the Special Snowflakes thread, there is mention of how some things in movies are creepy and deserving of a restraining order in real life.  What's your favourite of this?

I assume 50 shades of grey is the obvious example.  Any others?

Isilleke

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2013, 01:54:02 PM »
All the chases after a loved one in an airport always make me wonder where the security is.

Winterlight

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Wench

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2013, 02:02:22 PM »
The first one to come to mind is when Ryan Gosling's character hangs up the top of the feris will until Rachel McAdam's character agrees to a date in the Notebook.

Snowy Owl

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2013, 03:08:11 PM »
In the Special Snowflakes thread, there is mention of how some things in movies are creepy and deserving of a restraining order in real life.  What's your favourite of this?

I assume 50 shades of grey is the obvious example.  Any others?

Most definitely 50 Shades.  That guy is the epitome of a creepy stalker in my view.  How anyone can find his conduct romantic I will never know.

I think essentially anything where someone follows their love interest around and tries to control them is creepy.  I was reading a not very good romance and the putative hero didn't like his potential girlfriend's choice of breakfast (pancakes with bacon)  as being too unhealthy and told the waitress to bring the heroine yoghurt with fresh fruit (which the waitress did, despite the heroine objecting).  I couldn't help shake the feeling that we were supposed to think the male character was right to make her eat more healthy food. 

While I understand that pancakes are less healthy than yoghurt, I don't think it's appropriate for someone to try and control what someone else eats (unless it's an established relationship with one character asking the other for dietary guidance).

On principle I hate it when people try to food police others.  At that point I deleted the book from the kindle and put the author on the "don't read again" list. 

Also most of the books by Christine Feehan where the male lead is a "Carpathian" which appears to be someone with vampiric traits and a belief that their pre-selected beloved really wants an up tight control freak who tries to boss them around and control their behaviour. 
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yokozbornak

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2013, 03:36:53 PM »
I love cheesy romance whether it be a novel or a book, but I can't stand romanticizing abusive situations.  I was reading a book a couple of years ago where the male lead was a huge jerk who verbally abused the heroine.  He hated her for some stupid reason I can't remember.  Anyway, I was supposed to be okay with him treating her like dirt and calling her names because it was all a big misunderstanding, doncha know, and he was really a nice guy underneath.  I am not sure how it all ended because I threw it in the trash.  I will take my romance without a side of abuse.

I'll take a sweet, nerdy hero any day of the week!

laud_shy_girl

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2013, 03:41:04 PM »
Snip

Also most of the books by Christine Feehan where the male lead is a "Carpathian" which appears to be someone with vampiric traits and a belief that their pre-selected beloved really wants an up tight control freak who tries to boss them around and control their behaviour.

I was mentally plaining my post about this author as I read the OP, but you beat me to it. The women in it just scream "victim" to me.

Even Classic Disney does it. Look at beauty and the beast. Bell is bullied and blackmailed in to living with the beast where she then has a "chance" to fall in love.

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mechtilde

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2013, 03:41:34 PM »
Heathcliff's behaviour in Wuthering Heights- never mind a restraining order, he should have been in jail!
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faithlessone

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2013, 03:43:28 PM »
All the chases after a loved one in an airport always make me wonder where the security is.

Have you seen Love Actually? Kid chases his crush through an airport, and collects a whole string of security guards, who catch him at the gate. ;D

For my part, I've seen a few rom-coms "heroes" and "heroines" (this doesn't seem to be gender-specific) who acted more like stalkers than secret admirers. Anything that involves following them, bullying their crush's friends into helping him/her, or infiltrating their emails/voicemail/social networking, freaks me out.

I really tend not to watch rom-coms anymore.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2013, 03:46:56 PM »
Beauty and the Beast was one of my favorite movies when I was a young teen and it came out.  Now watching it as an adult, all I see is Stockholm Syndrome.
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Black Delphinium

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2013, 03:47:20 PM »
Showing up at the house in the middle of the night with a boombox, a la Say Anything...

Well, maybe not a restraining order, but the cops would come, for certain.
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PeterM

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2013, 03:57:10 PM »
Showing up at the house in the middle of the night with a boombox, a la Say Anything...

Well, maybe not a restraining order, but the cops would come, for certain.

I don't think that one's as bad as many other examples - you can do it without breaking the law, for one thing, if you stay off of private property and keep the volume reasonable. It's pathetic, yes, but not scary in the way many up-close "romantic" gestures are. To me, at least.

Plus, any situation that allows me to yell "Play Freebird, man!" is okay by me.

yokozbornak

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2013, 03:58:24 PM »
Showing up at the house in the middle of the night with a boombox, a la Say Anything...

Well, maybe not a restraining order, but the cops would come, for certain.

But....but...but...it's Lloyd Dobler!  He can hold up a boombox in front of my house any day of the week.  The heck with the neighbors!

That reminds me John Cusack's charater in Better Off Dead (my favorite '80s teen movie).  Lane Meyer definitely should have been either arrested for stalking or committed for trying to commit suicide repeatedly.  Man, I love that movie though!

PeterM

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2013, 04:06:42 PM »
Anything on this list- http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/10/four-lies-movies-taught-us-about-dating/all/1/

I especially liked the bit about "Sure you're in a tree outside her bedroom window, but it's only so you can watch her sleep!"

Actually, pretty much every vampire "romantic gesture" I can think of creeps me out. I'm not sure it's because they're all extra creepy compared to non-supernatural idiocies, or if the added element of "Dead people are hot!" puts them over the top.

The worst example I can think of is from the sixth season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The scene where Spike attacks Buffy in her bathroom and essentially tries to rape her. The writers apparently thought that would come off as more romantically desperate than, you know, rape-y. If I recall correctly, the woman running the show at that point said it was based on a moment in her own life when she tried to force herself onto a guy to keep him from leaving her. Putting aside the fact that it's an incredibly ill-advised and despicable thing for a woman to do to a man, there's also the fact that it's especially creepy if you turn it around and make it a man doing it to a woman. Like it or not, our culture treats male on female violence differently than it treats female on male violence, and to throw a sexual element in on top of that? And still somehow think your audience will be okay with it? Not very bright.

Of course, there were some people who saw it as oh so romantic, as intended. That just goes to show you the usual sort of things this sort of situation goes to show you.


Jelaza

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Re: s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2013, 04:12:29 PM »
I don't know as how it's enough to get a restraining order put into place, but every single thing that Tom Hanks did in You've Got Mail after he found out Meg Ryan was the shop girl was awful.