s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL

[BabylonSister]

The whole Phantom of the Opera.  It must be noted that in the book, Christine feels no attraction at all for Erik (the Phantom), only a mix of hate, repulsion and compassion.  Then Andrew Lloyd-Weber came and suddenly, Erik spying on a woman and abducting her made her feel ambiguously attracted to him.

[magician5]

Not exactly "restraining order" material, but I got through about half of My Big Fat Greek Wedding before deciding that the much-discussed charm of the movie was nowhere to be found. The girl should have told her father that he was being abusively controlling, gotten married at City Hall, and the old man could like it or not like it, end of story.

[JocelynCS]

Every single act by a male character in Twilight.  (Come on, somebody had to say it!)

[Iris]

Anything on this list- http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/10/four-lies-movies-taught-us-about-dating/all/1/

I especially liked the bit about "Sure you're in a tree outside her bedroom window, but it's only so you can watch her sleep!"

Actually, pretty much every vampire "romantic gesture" I can think of creeps me out. I'm not sure it's because they're all extra creepy compared to non-supernatural idiocies, or if the added element of "Dead people are hot!" puts them over the top.

The worst example I can think of is from the sixth season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The scene where Spike attacks Buffy in her bathroom and essentially tries to rape her. The writers apparently thought that would come off as more romantically desperate than, you know, rape-y. If I recall correctly, the woman running the show at that point said it was based on a moment in her own life when she tried to force herself onto a guy to keep him from leaving her. Putting aside the fact that it's an incredibly ill-advised and despicable thing for a woman to do to a man, there's also the fact that it's especially creepy if you turn it around and make it a man doing it to a woman. Like it or not, our culture treats male on female violence differently than it treats female on male violence, and to throw a sexual element in on top of that? And still somehow think your audience will be okay with it? Not very bright.

Of course, there were some people who saw it as oh so romantic, as intended. That just goes to show you the usual sort of things this sort of situation goes to show you.

Really? That was supposed to be romantic? I always thought that it was meant to showcase that no matter how he felt about Buffy, Spike was still a revolting monster at heart. And further that when he realised that it was what inspired him to go get his soul back (so that he wouldn't be a revolting monster anymore and Buffy wouldn't be entirely justified in hating his guts). Admittedly I tend to rewatch the earlier seasons so I haven't seen it for ages, but that's my recollection.

It was a *brilliant* scene when I interpreted it my way. But romantic? No way on earth. (Also a woman trying to force herself onto a man to prevent him from leaving is revolting. I hate that some writer has tried to justify her moment of criminal assault by trying to fool the rest of us).



On topic - My one attempt to read Ayn Rand ended when a man chose to begin a relationship with a woman by breaking into her house and raping her, and the woman thought that was just dandy, thank you. Only time I've ever thrown a book actually in a bin. I'm sure I'll think of more later.

[Firecat]

In the Special Snowflakes thread, there is mention of how some things in movies are creepy and deserving of a restraining order in real life.  What's your favourite of this?

I assume 50 shades of grey is the obvious example.  Any others?

Most definitely 50 Shades.  That guy is the epitome of a creepy stalker in my view.  How anyone can find his conduct romantic I will never know.

I think essentially anything where someone follows their love interest around and tries to control them is creepy.  I was reading a not very good romance and the putative hero didn't like his potential girlfriend's choice of breakfast (pancakes with bacon)  as being too unhealthy and told the waitress to bring the heroine yoghurt with fresh fruit (which the waitress did, despite the heroine objecting).  I couldn't help shake the feeling that we were supposed to think the male character was right to make her eat more healthy food. 

While I understand that pancakes are less healthy than yoghurt, I don't think it's appropriate for someone to try and control what someone else eats (unless it's an established relationship with one character asking the other for dietary guidance).

On principle I hate it when people try to food police others.  At that point I deleted the book from the kindle and put the author on the "don't read again" list. 

Also most of the books by Christine Feehan where the male lead is a "Carpathian" which appears to be someone with vampiric traits and a belief that their pre-selected beloved really wants an up tight control freak who tries to boss them around and control their behaviour.

I snarked to my DH last week that the book was called "50 Shades of Gray" because the publishers decided that "How to Have an Abusive relationship: the Handbook" wouldn't sell. However, have you seen the book "50 Shades of Chicken"? It's a parody...and a cookbook...and had me in massive giggles right in the middle of Barnes and Noble. I think I actually want a copy, partly for the sheer hilarity, and partly because some of the recipes looked pretty good.

[Garden Goblin]

A guy friend of mine, inspired by a movie (not sure which movie) was planning on breaking into his crush's house to put a cake on her table with 'will you go out with me' written in icing.

Fortunately for him, he asked for my help making the cake and I was able to talk him into making a phone call instead.  She turned him down flat, he went on a rant about how 'chicks never date nice guys' and I ended up ultimately dropping him from my friend list because I was sick of hearing him whine about girls never giving 'nice guys' a chance.

For the record - I was engaged to a perfectly nice man at the time all this was happening.

[yokozbornak]

I don't know as how it's enough to get a restraining order put into place, but every single thing that Tom Hanks did in You've Got Mail after he found out Meg Ryan was the shop girl was awful.

And Meg Ryan was the creeper in Sleepless in Seattle. 

[Iris]

Anything on this list- http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/10/four-lies-movies-taught-us-about-dating/all/1/

Ooo, reading this reminded me that although I *love* "Bringing Up Baby", if I watch it with my "sensible brain" it quickly becomes clear that Katherine Hepburn's character is in fact a dangerous lunatic who should probably be locked up for the good of society.

A guy friend of mine, inspired by a movie (not sure which movie) was planning on breaking into his crush's house to put a cake on her table with 'will you go out with me' written in icing.

Fortunately for him, he asked for my help making the cake and I was able to talk him into making a phone call instead.  She turned him down flat, he went on a rant about how 'chicks never date nice guys' and I ended up ultimately dropping him from my friend list because I was sick of hearing him whine about girls never giving 'nice guys' a chance.

For the record - I was engaged to a perfectly nice man at the time all this was happening.

There is no intersection between the set of "nice guys" and the set of "guys who want to break into my house".

[laud_shy_girl]

I love MaryJanice Davidson, but has anyone read "Love's Prisoner"  in the Wyndham Werewolf series. The start of that is just wrong. The entire book is premised on him raping a woman, her being pregnant and him locking her up to make her marry him.  Only it's told in a "it was destiny and he could not resist her" way 

She writes in a really cutesy way (I love the Queen Betsy series)

I could not get passed the first chapter.

[Kendo_Bunny]

Beauty and the Beast was one of my favorite movies when I was a young teen and it came out.  Now watching it as an adult, all I see is Stockholm Syndrome.

I see it differently, probably because of the way my parents explained it to me when I was little. Beast is the master of the castle, and has no one to curb him at all. When Belle snaps at him that she had run away because he had frightened her, he looks genuinely shocked, and does not have a come back. He is surprised that he scared her by yelling, because he is so convinced people are only scared of him because of the way he looks. Afterwards, he never raises his voice again. Not once. He roars at Gaston, but he never again yells.

My parents told me that if someone does not know that their behavior is wrong, you make an allowance that one time (unless it's physical violence). You give them a chance to apologize and make amends. Belle let him know his behavior was wrong, Beast apologized, made amends, and turned out to actually be a nice person who did not have good parents to teach him that it is not acceptable to yell when you do not get your way.

Disney's official explanation was that he was literally turning into a beast the longer he spent away from human contact, which they probably could have explained better - that his parents didn't teach him to behave in the first place, and lack of early teaching + curse = yelling and screaming tantrums.

[weeblewobble]

All the chases after a loved one in an airport always make me wonder where the security is.

Have you seen Love Actually? Kid chases his crush through an airport, and collects a whole string of security guards, who catch him at the gate.

In another cut of that scene, Sam used his amazing gymnastic skills to cartwheel, handspring and sommersault his way around the airport. Totally realistic.

[weeblewobble]

Edward and Bella are my least favorite characters in Twilight.  When a dude tells you that he's been watching you sleep without you being aware he's in your room, it's not romantic. Ever.

Anything Angelus did to Buffy.

Some of the things Angel did to Buffy.

There was a jeans commercial a few years ago where a beautiful woman was driving cross country and she's obviously in a desert.  A guy follows her when she stops and gives her something (sunglasses, maybe?)  She says, "Oh, where did I drop this?" And he says, "Nebraska."

[weeblewobble]

And as much as I used to love "Pretty in Pink," Duckie is pretty much the textbook case of "Nice Guy Syndrome" in which a guy thinks he is owed a girl's primary romantic allegiance because he's her friend and such a nice guy and she has no right to date or love any one else until she's given him a chance.  Having been a target for one of these nice guys -who turned out to not be so nice when I turned him down- in college, has totally changed the context in which I watch that movie.  It actually makes me a little sick now.

[doodlemor]

Here's one from days gone by - so my memory may be inexact.

In the movie Blue Hawaii the character played by Elvis Presley turns a young woman over his knee and *spanks her.* 

Elvis was playing a tour guide in Hawaii, and was shepherding a group of young women around the island.  I think that they might have been high school age.  The person that he later spanked acted very bratty for the first part of the movie, and then I think she tried to commit suicide by throwing herself in the ocean at night.  Elvis fished her out of the surf and spanked her.

Voila!  Her apparently poor mental health was restored to normal.  She turned into a well behaved person and told Elvis that he was the first person who cared enough about her to do that.  Such bizarre logic was not unusual in movies at the time, which was 1961.

[Snowy Owl]

I love MaryJanice Davidson, but has anyone read "Love's Prisoner"  in the Wyndham Werewolf series. The start of that is just wrong. The entire book is premised on him raping a woman, her being pregnant and him locking her up to make her marry him.  Only it's told in a "it was destiny and he could not resist her" way 

She writes in a really cutesy way (I love the Queen Betsy series)

I could not get passed the first chapter.

Not read it but it sounds horrible.  I always preferred the attitude Linda Hamilton took in Terminator 2, that there's no fate but what we make.  I hate it when people are pressured into being with someone because there's some destiny that they need to be together. People being together because they want to be, is much more my idea of a romance novel.