s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL

[Slartibartfast]

Was anyone else amused when watching "50 First Dates", when Adam Sandler did the same approach on different days and the first time, it worked but the next time, she beat him up?


Regarding Beauty and the Beast, I preferred it to other princess movies because Belle stood up to the beast, yelled back at him and followed her own mind. None of the "I'll do whatever you tell me" of Little Mermaid and pre-destined-can't-fight-it love of Sleeping Beauty. My mom didn't like the movie because she considered Belle a "brat" for rejecting her town and people, so as with all children's stories and their meanings, YMMV.

Beauty and the Beast is one of the few disney princesses I'd be okay with my daughter emulating.  She reads no matter how strange the town thinks she is, she refuses to allow Gaston to bully her into marriage, she doesn't hesitate to run to rescue her father, she stands up to the Beast when he's a jerk and then defends him when the townspeople come to kill him.  Her and Mulan, they are the good ones.

Don't forget, Princess Leia is now a Disney princess too 

[greencat]

Waiting for your "one true love" to come back to you even though they are involved with someone else and generally unavailable gets romanticized a lot in media, but coming from the object of that unrequited affection, it's pretty creepy.

I had a man I'd been on a single date with - a month and a half before leaving town for the summer - send me a dozen red roses with an excessively romantic note for my early-fall birthday, alluding to our continued relationship after my return.  I had explicitly refused to commit to a long-distance relationship (or any relationship at all, for that matter) after a single date.  I had also been seriously dating and fallen in love with someone I'd met in SummerTown almost the entire time I'd been up there, something that HometownGuy knew.  When I confronted him about how inappropriate the note was, he complained that it "wasn't fair" that I had started dating the other guy instead of waiting for him, because he "really loved me."

[JadeAngel]

Waiting for your "one true love" to come back to you even though they are involved with someone else and generally unavailable gets romanticized a lot in media, but coming from the object of that unrequited affection, it's pretty creepy.

Yeah, how many times have we seen the male lead wait until the heroine is about to sleep with/move in with/marry the 'other guy' and then come banging on her door? You have to butt in now? You couldn't figure out that you loved me during all the time I was single and available, it has to be now?

The RL problem with that is that so often the guy only realises he wants you when he can't have you, but if you break off your relationship and go with him you turn from 'idealised fantasy object' to 'ordinary girlfriend' and some guys will go off chasing the next unattainable girl...

Sorry all... this brings me to 'Dear John' (spoilers ahead if you have not seen it)

The guy starts out all noble, rescuing her purse when it fell in the ocean, other corny sappy stuff etc etc, but it doesn't take long for him to develop charming jealousy issues towards all the other male friends in her sphere and start punching more than one of them despite his protestations that he's "changed" from the angry young man who used to tear up beachside bars.

He re-enlists after September 11, which is very noble and heroic, but clearly the girl he left back home is barely a consideration in his decision. But when she sends him a letter telling him she's marrying someone else, he goes off in an extended rage ending up being wounded and shipped home. He meets with the girl, her husband (the friend he punched who was now dying of cancer) and decides to be all noble and walk out on her again.

Also (sidebar) anyone who ran into an airport checkpoint the wrong way through a metal detector a week after 9-11 would have several heavily armed men carting her away, not a kiss from her soldier boyfriend.

Then the girl sends him a letter saying 'hey my husband died, wanna hook up?' and they meet in some coffee shop, the end.

How any of this is supposed to be romantic beats me.

[CakeEater]

Anything on this list- http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/10/four-lies-movies-taught-us-about-dating/all/1/

I especially liked the bit about "Sure you're in a tree outside her bedroom window, but it's only so you can watch her sleep!"

Actually, pretty much every vampire "romantic gesture" I can think of creeps me out. I'm not sure it's because they're all extra creepy compared to non-supernatural idiocies, or if the added element of "Dead people are hot!" puts them over the top.

The worst example I can think of is from the sixth season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The scene where Spike attacks Buffy in her bathroom and essentially tries to rape her. The writers apparently thought that would come off as more romantically desperate than, you know, rape-y. If I recall correctly, the woman running the show at that point said it was based on a moment in her own life when she tried to force herself onto a guy to keep him from leaving her. Putting aside the fact that it's an incredibly ill-advised and despicable thing for a woman to do to a man, there's also the fact that it's especially creepy if you turn it around and make it a man doing it to a woman. Like it or not, our culture treats male on female violence differently than it treats female on male violence, and to throw a sexual element in on top of that? And still somehow think your audience will be okay with it? Not very bright.

Of course, there were some people who saw it as oh so romantic, as intended. That just goes to show you the usual sort of things this sort of situation goes to show you.

Really? That was supposed to be romantic? I always thought that it was meant to showcase that no matter how he felt about Buffy, Spike was still a revolting monster at heart. And further that when he realised that it was what inspired him to go get his soul back (so that he wouldn't be a revolting monster anymore and Buffy wouldn't be entirely justified in hating his guts). Admittedly I tend to rewatch the earlier seasons so I haven't seen it for ages, but that's my recollection.

It was a *brilliant* scene when I interpreted it my way. But romantic? No way on earth. (Also a woman trying to force herself onto a man to prevent him from leaving is revolting. I hate that some writer has tried to justify her moment of criminal assault by trying to fool the rest of us).

Plus, they hardly had a normal relationship. She was stronger than him - and they spent a lot of time beating each other up.

[asb8]

Was anyone else amused when watching "50 First Dates", when Adam Sandler did the same approach on different days and the first time, it worked but the next time, she beat him up?


Regarding Beauty and the Beast, I preferred it to other princess movies because Belle stood up to the beast, yelled back at him and followed her own mind. None of the "I'll do whatever you tell me" of Little Mermaid and pre-destined-can't-fight-it love of Sleeping Beauty. My mom didn't like the movie because she considered Belle a "brat" for rejecting her town and people, so as with all children's stories and their meanings, YMMV.

Beauty and the Beast is one of the few disney princesses I'd be okay with my daughter emulating.  She reads no matter how strange the town thinks she is, she refuses to allow Gaston to bully her into marriage, she doesn't hesitate to run to rescue her father, she stands up to the Beast when he's a jerk and then defends him when the townspeople come to kill him.  Her and Mulan, they are the good ones.

Don't forget, Princess Leia is now a Disney princess too 

Oooh, I forgot about her! 

She's a good role model too, if you overlook the gold bikini, which I'm pretty sure wasn't her or Carrie Fisher's idea.

[Softly Spoken]

Beauty and the Beast is one of the few disney princesses I'd be okay with my daughter emulating.  She reads no matter how strange the town thinks she is, she refuses to allow Gaston to bully her into marriage, she doesn't hesitate to run to rescue her father, she stands up to the Beast when he's a jerk and then defends him when the townspeople come to kill him.  Her and Mulan, they are the good ones.

Don't forget, Princess Leia is now a Disney princess too 

Oooh, I forgot about her! 

She's a good role model too, if you overlook the gold bikini, which I'm pretty sure wasn't her or Carrie Fisher's idea.

FWIW, she didn't want to wear the bikini, she had to because her rescue mission hit a snag and she was forced to be Jabba the Hut's sex slave. Despite that she still managed to fire a gun into the deck of a hover ship to sink it, after strangling Jabba to death with her slave chains. Think about that! Luke didn't kill Jabba. Han didn't kill him. Lando didn't. Leia took out one of the scariest, ugliest, most feared and evil characters outside of the Empire and she did it with her bare hands! The fact that she did all that without having a wardrobe malfunction is just one more reason she is awesome.

Back to topic: I hate any romance novel where the guy is a jerk and yet...somehow...the girl is drawn to him and can't resist *swoon* ack. GAG. No, women DO. NOT. LIKE. JERKS. I get the whole theme of "funny/cute misunderstanding/different worlds/once they get to know each other" is popular, but as a too often it is too fast and too extreme and that is just not believable and bad story telling.
I don't do romcoms because they are so annoying. The movie that was hard for me to watch? "Romancing the Stone" It was entertaining and funny but I just didn't believe that the guy (Michael Douglas) changed and eventually cared about the girl (Kathleen Turner). I didn't believe it when he came back...and he should have given her half of the money he got for the stone since they both found it - but instead he buys a freakin boat and she sails off with him. It was better than most (the whole point was it wasn't like a romance novel) but still hit some sour notes - rogue was still too much of a rogue and nice girl was still too nice and forgiving.

[asb8]

Beauty and the Beast is one of the few disney princesses I'd be okay with my daughter emulating.  She reads no matter how strange the town thinks she is, she refuses to allow Gaston to bully her into marriage, she doesn't hesitate to run to rescue her father, she stands up to the Beast when he's a jerk and then defends him when the townspeople come to kill him.  Her and Mulan, they are the good ones.

Don't forget, Princess Leia is now a Disney princess too 

Oooh, I forgot about her! 

She's a good role model too, if you overlook the gold bikini, which I'm pretty sure wasn't her or Carrie Fisher's idea.

FWIW, she didn't want to wear the bikini, she had to because her rescue mission hit a snag and she was forced to be Jabba the Hut's sex slave. Despite that she still managed to fire a gun into the deck of a hover ship to sink it, after strangling Jabba to death with her slave chains. Think about that! Luke didn't kill Jabba. Han didn't kill him. Lando didn't. Leia took out one of the scariest, ugliest, most feared and evil characters outside of the Empire and she did it with her bare hands! The fact that she did all that without having a wardrobe malfunction is just one more reason she is awesome.

Oh I know she didn't want too!  My objection is aimed at the producers.  They had two massive hits on their hands without going to that place.  Why was it necessary to go there for the third?

[greencat]

Beauty and the Beast is one of the few disney princesses I'd be okay with my daughter emulating.  She reads no matter how strange the town thinks she is, she refuses to allow Gaston to bully her into marriage, she doesn't hesitate to run to rescue her father, she stands up to the Beast when he's a jerk and then defends him when the townspeople come to kill him.  Her and Mulan, they are the good ones.

Don't forget, Princess Leia is now a Disney princess too 

Oooh, I forgot about her! 

She's a good role model too, if you overlook the gold bikini, which I'm pretty sure wasn't her or Carrie Fisher's idea.

FWIW, she didn't want to wear the bikini, she had to because her rescue mission hit a snag and she was forced to be Jabba the Hut's sex slave. Despite that she still managed to fire a gun into the deck of a hover ship to sink it, after strangling Jabba to death with her slave chains. Think about that! Luke didn't kill Jabba. Han didn't kill him. Lando didn't. Leia took out one of the scariest, ugliest, most feared and evil characters outside of the Empire and she did it with her bare hands! The fact that she did all that without having a wardrobe malfunction is just one more reason she is awesome.

Oh I know she didn't want too!  My objection is aimed at the producers.  They had two massive hits on their hands without going to that place.  Why was it necessary to go there for the third?

I think the idea that the Princess was put in a situation where she was being totally objectified and that she, not the male heroes, was the one to put down the bad guy who did that to her, was a real female empowerment message that I haven't really seen the equal of in a mainstream movie, and one presented with a great deal of finesse instead of being beaten into the audience with a sledgehammer.

[MrsCrazyPete]

Someone upthread mentioned Flowers in the Attic...yes, absolutely!

Quick story, for those who haven't read it: woman has four children with her husband (who is also her half-uncle or some such thing), husband dies, woman is destitute and needs help from her uber-wealthy aging parents. Her father doesn't know about the four children and won't give woman a nickel if he ever finds out about them, so woman and her mother decide to lock said children in an attic for something like 2 years. Then all four children are poisoned with arsenic and the youngest one eventually dies and the other three escape.

The books are insanely ridiculous, with no mention of the woman and her mother getting in any sort of legal trouble. I believe though, in the final book, the oldest daughter eventually gets revenge on her mother by killing her husband or something. No jail for her either.

[cicero]

I don't know about a restraining order... but I always wanted to call CPS on Lorelai Gilmore for feeding her daughter carp all.day.long.

[WolfWay]

Pretty much all the actions of the two male leads in This Means War. <shudder> Massive invasion of privacy, illegal phone tapping, misuse of goverment surveillance equipment and personel, breaking and entering into her house while she's there... gah.

Okay, so I might not object to Tom Hardy breaking in my house while I'm there  , but still, the whole set up of plot was uber creepy, and all of it was handwaved away as Romantic gestures on both their parts. If it had been the villain in the movie doing the exact same things, there would have been the violin music from the show scene in Psycho playing for most of it.

[cicero]

oh and another one -matilda. didn't properly secure her in the car on the way home from the hospital. the parents left her at home alone all day long from age zero. they didn't send her to school when they were supposed to. didn't remember her age. father was busy scamming people all day long. and they gave her up for adoption without blinking. great home for a child to grow up in...

[scotcat60]

"The Sheik" byE.M.Hull was published in 1919, and the heroine falls for the eponymus hero in spite of being repeatedly raped by him. It's the helpless little woman falls for amsterful he-man syndrome.

Slightly O/T have just watched "The Accidental Husband" in which the heroine, Emma is lead to believe that she is married to Patrick, because his friend  A.J. hacks the computer at City Hall to falsify a record and make out that she is married. Like no one signs a register when they marry, so there would be a hard copy of the certificate on deposit. In the end, she realises she loves Patrick, and in the last scene, she is married to him, and pregnant, wihout you knowing whether he told her the truth about the hacking. Not a restraining order job, but you do have to suspend belief a bit, (and wonder why she didn't end up with her fiance, played by Colin Firth)

But if we analysed everything too closely, it woule be a dull world I suppose.

[Snooks]

I'm fairly sure Kurt Russell and the kids wouldn't be there for Goldie Hawn to go back to in Overboard as they'd be in care and he'd be in prison for kidnap.

[Piratelvr1121]

Merida is my favorite Disney Princess to date, followed by Mulan. And I always did like Belle, as I was a bookworm as a kid and loved that she read a lot too and was also taunted for always having her nose in a book, as I often was at the time the movie came out.

Funny thing about Gilmore Girls is that I remember they'd order all that food but you hardly saw them eat any of it other than one or two bites.