s/o things in movies/books that would lead to a restraining order in RL

[CakeBeret]

Close. Here's my favorite summary- NSFW language. 
http://foreveryoungadult.com/2011/06/10/a-review-of-the-worst-book-in-history/

That was horrifying. But I love her writing style and imagery. "Her dad makes her sit in this dumb*** rocking chair that belonged to the First and Best Audrina so that she (the Second and Worst and Dumbest Audrina) can capture the First and Best Audrina's "gift," which, sadly, is neither syphillis nor Parcheesi."

[snowflake]

As much as I love it, the First Wives Club needs to be nominated.  Breaking and Entering, Kidnapping, Extortion, etc.

I nominate that and all the copy cat books since.

I love the story line of having the wake-up call that you have fallen into a rut and need to take drastic measures so your life doesn't suck.  I feel like I have resembled that plot over and over.  But I am really uncomfortable when:

1) The whole "I realized my life stinks" story line is driven by a relationship ending.  Because life is good as long as your man loves you?  It's hard for me to swallow that a fun, likable, strong woman wouldn't notice that her life was going down the drain before it hits the point of no return.  Most of the time these books involve the woman thinking, "Oh yeah, I was a slave, drudge and martyr and liked it as long as he was there."  Annoying.

2) Lots of the blame gets put on the younger model.  I'm not condoning running around with a married man.  But there are often strong implications that if a man leaves for another woman, the other woman is a skank, a ho, a tramp, stupid, unbalanced and sub-human.  Junior high anyone?  I read a book (which I cannot now remember the title or author) where the heroine was trying to rebuild her life after being dumped and one of the running "jokes" was that the other woman was fatter than she was.  So the whole book it was "Tee, hee, what does he think he's getting out of it when she's fatter?"  Um, maybe that she's not shallow?  Meow!

3) And of course there is always petty revenge that involves vandalism, trespassing, etc. Because in life there are winners and losers and if you aren't willing to be a worse person than your ex, you are going to lose!

I used to read lots in this genre of chick-lit because I felt like it mirrored my life.  (Huge wake-up calls hitting me over the head, have to take charge of life, etc.)  I ended up yelling at every single one, "He left you because you are petty, mean and unprincipled!" 

Yeah, IRL, I'd expect many of these cute, zany heroines to end up in jail.

[Kaora]

Also one where a guy bought a dresser or a fancy desk of some sort secondhand, and found a pigeon hole in it.  He uncovered a letter written by a girl who owned the dresser formerly, a longing for someone to love.  He, for the fun of it, wrote a response letter and put it back in.  The next time he looked, he received a response back from the girl, and it culminates into him putting some item in it (a scarf?) and he goes to look up a cemetery with her name.  His personal item (scarf?) is found on the grave, with some sappy quote engraved to him.

I know that one!!! It's "The Love Letter", by Jack Finney. (You can read it online here: http://richters-time.blogspot.co.uk/2007/09/love-letter-by-jack-finney.html )

It was adapted into a tv-movie in 1998 - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0140340/ - which I completely love. (One of the very few rom-coms I actually like!)

That one!  Yes! I love the short story, but its been so long since I've heard of it, I just remembered reading it out of my English book at this point. Thanks for the link, reading now.

If we're going to get into songs, I nominate the following:
**snip**

If I remember, the eHell blog covered unfortunate songs used at weddings a time ago.  It included such classics as "Send In The Clowns," and "The Lady Is a Tramp."  Classy, though a little o/t.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=62215.0

This thread?

Yep!

[yokozbornak]

I think Scots Gaelic developed from the Irish, so they changed a few pronunciations along the way. Kind of like UK and US English perhaps? Or maybe us Scots are just awkward people who do things just to be stubborn  Kind of like Merida herself?!

DH is 1/4 Irish and 1/4 Scottish, and I'm 1/2 Irish so between us we've got a good bit of hardheadedness going for us.  We jokingly argue about who the kids got their headstrong ways from and in all truth it's both of us but it's fun to prove our stubborn natures by saying "he got it from you!" "No you're more stubborn! No you are!" 

I thought of a song last night that made me laugh as I thought of this thread.  "The Sweater" In which it tells of a teen girl who has just pulled over her head the sweater belonging to a boy.  The song's very tongue in cheek but this part really kind of made me think of the thread.

Girls, I know you will understand this and feel the intrinsic incredible emotion
 You have just pulled over your head the worn, warm sweater belonging to a boy
 Now, you haven't had a passionate kissing session or anything,
 but you got to go on a camping trip with him and eight other people from school
 And you practically slept together, your sleeping bag right next to his
 And you woke in the night to watch him as he slept
but you couldn't see anything 'cause it was dark
 so you just laid there and listened to his breathing and wondered if your heart might burst

 The sweater has that faintly goat-like smell which all teenage boys possess,
and that smell will lovingly transfer to all your other clothes
 If you get to keep it for a few days you can sleep with it
 but don't let your mom see, 'cause she'll say,
 "what is that filthy thing, and who does it belong to besides the trash man?"
 So you have to keep it under the covers with you
 You can kind of lie it beside you,
or wrap it around your waist,
or touch it on your legs,
 or whatever That's your business

Then later in the song the girl finds out the boy didn't mean to give it to her and he's been looking for it all weekend and wants it back. 

But not before she sees the label. 100% acrylic.

Thank you for posting this!  I thought I was the only person in the world who had heard this song because no one knows what I'm talking about when I mention it.

[guihong]

Bones.  Hodgkin's father-in-law (Angela's father) kidnaps him and tattoos him at least twice.  How is that not assault?  Never mind that he takes it on himself to name their child, and Angela is going along with that?

Not only would I not marry his daughter (who can't remember her first husband's name?), but the FIL would be behind bars.

[asb8]

Yeah, but the FIL is Billy Gibbons!

Who in their right mind would be willing to lock up Billy Gibbons? 

[Tashigi]

Bones.  Hodgkin's father-in-law (Angela's father) kidnaps him and tattoos him at least twice.  How is that not assault?  Never mind that he takes it on himself to name their child, and Angela is going along with that?

Not only would I not marry his daughter (who can't remember her first husband's name?), but the FIL would be behind bars.

If my dad had pulled even one of the things Robert De Niro's character had pulled in Meet the Parents... I would never talked to him again. Polygraph testing, breaking into his luggage?! Never mind my SO pressing charges - I think I'd make sure he was behind bars myself!

Then there's a throwaway line in the sequel recalling that the father had injected his daughter's prom date with sodium pentothal. Why does Pam have anything to do with her father again?

[PeterM]

Yeah, but the FIL is Billy Gibbons!

Who in their right mind would be willing to lock up Billy Gibbons? 

Exactly. If Hodgins had tried to press charges for kidnapping and assault, the judge would've been legally required to give Hodgins a noogie on live TV. It's in the Constitution, an amendment. Somewhere in the teens, I think.

Besides, Hodgins didn't seem to mind the first tattoo, at least. That's the kind of story a man doesn't mind telling. And I loved the scene where Angela found out about it.

[MizA]

I think Scots Gaelic developed from the Irish, so they changed a few pronunciations along the way. Kind of like UK and US English perhaps? Or maybe us Scots are just awkward people who do things just to be stubborn  Kind of like Merida herself?!

DH is 1/4 Irish and 1/4 Scottish, and I'm 1/2 Irish so between us we've got a good bit of hardheadedness going for us.  We jokingly argue about who the kids got their headstrong ways from and in all truth it's both of us but it's fun to prove our stubborn natures by saying "he got it from you!" "No you're more stubborn! No you are!" 

I thought of a song last night that made me laugh as I thought of this thread.  "The Sweater" In which it tells of a teen girl who has just pulled over her head the sweater belonging to a boy.  The song's very tongue in cheek but this part really kind of made me think of the thread.

Girls, I know you will understand this and feel the intrinsic incredible emotion
 You have just pulled over your head the worn, warm sweater belonging to a boy
 Now, you haven't had a passionate kissing session or anything,
 but you got to go on a camping trip with him and eight other people from school
 And you practically slept together, your sleeping bag right next to his
 And you woke in the night to watch him as he slept
but you couldn't see anything 'cause it was dark
 so you just laid there and listened to his breathing and wondered if your heart might burst

 The sweater has that faintly goat-like smell which all teenage boys possess,
and that smell will lovingly transfer to all your other clothes
 If you get to keep it for a few days you can sleep with it
 but don't let your mom see, 'cause she'll say,
 "what is that filthy thing, and who does it belong to besides the trash man?"
 So you have to keep it under the covers with you
 You can kind of lie it beside you,
or wrap it around your waist,
or touch it on your legs,
 or whatever That's your business

Then later in the song the girl finds out the boy didn't mean to give it to her and he's been looking for it all weekend and wants it back. 

But not before she sees the label. 100% acrylic.

Thank you for posting this!  I thought I was the only person in the world who had heard this song because no one knows what I'm talking about when I mention it.

That's because it's Canadian, eh? 

The artist is Meryn Cadell. S/he is a prof at UBC.

[Piratelvr1121]

Someone introduced me to that song years ago and I thought it was hilarious. I do remember hearing she did have a sex change after recording that song, but didn't know s/he'd become a professor. Cool.

[caz]

Waiting for your "one true love" to come back to you even though they are involved with someone else and generally unavailable gets romanticized a lot in media, but coming from the object of that unrequited affection, it's pretty creepy.

Yeah, how many times have we seen the male lead wait until the heroine is about to sleep with/move in with/marry the 'other guy' and then come banging on her door? You have to butt in now? You couldn't figure out that you loved me during all the time I was single and available, it has to be now?

The RL problem with that is that so often the guy only realises he wants you when he can't have you, but if you break off your relationship and go with him you turn from 'idealised fantasy object' to 'ordinary girlfriend' and some guys will go off chasing the next unattainable girl...

Sorry all... this brings me to 'Dear John' (spoilers ahead if you have not seen it)

The guy starts out all noble, rescuing her purse when it fell in the ocean, other corny sappy stuff etc etc, but it doesn't take long for him to develop charming jealousy issues towards all the other male friends in her sphere and start punching more than one of them despite his protestations that he's "changed" from the angry young man who used to tear up beachside bars.

He re-enlists after September 11, which is very noble and heroic, but clearly the girl he left back home is barely a consideration in his decision. But when she sends him a letter telling him she's marrying someone else, he goes off in an extended rage ending up being wounded and shipped home. He meets with the girl, her husband (the friend he punched who was now dying of cancer) and decides to be all noble and walk out on her again.

Also (sidebar) anyone who ran into an airport checkpoint the wrong way through a metal detector a week after 9-11 would have several heavily armed men carting her away, not a kiss from her soldier boyfriend.

Then the girl sends him a letter saying 'hey my husband died, wanna hook up?' and they meet in some coffee shop, the end.

How any of this is supposed to be romantic beats me.

hahaha!!!  never watched it, but now I have to!  I assume that's exactly how it happened.

[Amanita]

A few people have mentioned Glee. As much as I like the show, there's a few things I wonder about. Somebody mentioned the slushie that one of the Warblers threw at the Glee kids, that turned out to be spiked with rock salt, and actually caused an eye injury. IRL, the police would surely be getting involved. Assault and "bullying" is bad enough, but when somebody's hurt badly enough to require medical attention (they mentioned that the injured student might need surgery), that's harder to sweep under the rug.

The other thing that gets me is coach Sue Sylvester. They let her get away with entirely too much. She routinely mouths off with incredibly racist and homophobic statements, yet is never taken to task. Even if the Principal is a spineless wimp, surely some of these kids would have said something to their parents, and the parents would start making some real noise, demanding that action be taken, even if it meant going over the principal's head. She generally gets to do whatever she wants- destroying Glee club property- there was one episode this season when she took over their choir room and her cheer squad was happily destroying anything they could get their hands on. Surely that's not kosher! Likewise an episode in another season where the Glee club was trying to recruit people, so they put pianos around the school. Coach Sylvester destroyed one of them, going at it with bolt cutters. Wouldn't she be in serious doo-doo for destroying an expensive piece of school property?

[Twik]

I am absolutely sure that for a teacher to destroy a piano belonging to the school she worked for would be the definition of professional Darwinism.

[Kendo_Bunny]

Another thing in 'Glee' - I only watched what my roommates had on while I was making dinner, but Kurt was acting like a little sex offender in training. I'm sure it's hard and lonely being the only out kid in school, but his behavior of the one kid crossed the line into pure harassment. Following him all the time, peeping on him, refusing to take no for an answer, trying to force him to say he was also gay when he wasn't... and then re-arranging their mutual bedroom so that the kid would have zero privacy so Kurt could ogle him whenever he felt like it? And then we're supposed to sympathize with Kurt when the kid yells? I understand he shouldn't have used a slur, but I would have been really mad if a girl who had been sexually harassing me for months that I then had to share a room with had re-arranged it so I couldn't possibly change without her being able to watch me.

[Twik]

Another thing in 'Glee' - I only watched what my roommates had on while I was making dinner, but Kurt was acting like a little sex offender in training. I'm sure it's hard and lonely being the only out kid in school, but his behavior of the one kid crossed the line into pure harassment. Following him all the time, peeping on him, refusing to take no for an answer, trying to force him to say he was also gay when he wasn't... and then re-arranging their mutual bedroom so that the kid would have zero privacy so Kurt could ogle him whenever he felt like it? And then we're supposed to sympathize with Kurt when the kid yells? I understand he shouldn't have used a slur, but I would have been really mad if a girl who had been sexually harassing me for months that I then had to share a room with had re-arranged it so I couldn't possibly change without her being able to watch me.

Oog, that sounds disgusting.

I think that many TV/movie writers still don't "get" sexual harassment. When you consider Hollywood's long history of the casting couch, I suppose it's nothing we shouldn't expect. But they seem to view harassing behaviour very much through a lens of "if it's a sympathetic character, their behaviour is sweet and quirky. If it's the villian, or even just someone "humorously" unattractive, then we can treat it as ugly and unstable".