Author Topic: Expectant couple throwing their own baby shower?  (Read 8033 times)

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Twik

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Re: Expectant couple throwing their own baby shower?
« Reply #45 on: January 21, 2013, 10:07:15 AM »
If you want to throw a party to celebrate your pregnancy, go ahead and do so. Just don't call it a shower. Calling it a shower is saying "give me presents". Some people may try to claim that's not what they mean - but then, why are they so determined to use the word "shower"? You cannot have your (shower) cake, and eat it too.
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cocacola35

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Re: Expectant couple throwing their own baby shower?
« Reply #46 on: January 21, 2013, 10:48:10 AM »

I'm with those who think you could host yourself a party and just not call it a shower, and certainly not have registry information.

 That said, I have really never understood the ferocity I've seen on this site with regards to throwing a party for yourself. It seems frankly silly that you should have to wait for someone else to offer to, as in some groups, that just won't happen. A whole lot less of a stupid etiquette dance if you just host yourself a party (not a shower) when you want one.

I think that most people on this site, myself included, agree with the bolded point.  I don't think there is anything wrong with throwing your own party to celebrate special events in life.  Life is short as it is and why only celebrate with friends/loved ones when someone else feels generous enough to throw the party for you?  The only time throwing your own party seems off is when you are asking guests to bring you gifts through a registry or calling the party a "shower". 



 

White Lotus

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Re: Expectant couple throwing their own baby shower?
« Reply #47 on: January 21, 2013, 11:38:22 AM »
Of course, here we hear about the "gimmes" and the "gift-grabs" because this is Etiquette Hell!  The well-mannered people who don't do those things -- and they are legion -- don't appear here! 
I am just superstitious enough -- and have been close enough to a couple of tragedies -- to dislike baby showers as a general rule.  I vastly prefer a "meet the baby" open house, maybe following a "faith dedication" by any name, if one belongs to a faith that does some sort of dedication ceremony for new members, including infants.  Presents of the small variety (onesies, diapers, etc.) are welcome and appreciated, of course, and family members or intimate friends often do something very special, like the classic silver cup, teething ring, or rattle, but none are needed or expected, and it isn't called a shower, which does carry the meaning of "showering" the GOH with an assortment of small gifts. 
The couple's mis-step is calling their party, pre- or post the actual arrival, a "shower."

SpikeMichigan

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Re: Expectant couple throwing their own baby shower?
« Reply #48 on: January 21, 2013, 05:45:11 PM »
Quote
Quote from: SpikeMichigan on Today at 09:53:58 AM

I'm with those who think you could host yourself a party and just not call it a shower, and certainly not have registry information.

 That said, I have really never understood the ferocity I've seen on this site with regards to throwing a party for yourself. It seems frankly silly that you should have to wait for someone else to offer to, as in some groups, that just won't happen. A whole lot less of a stupid etiquette dance if you just host yourself a party (not a shower) when you want one.

I think that most people on this site, myself included, agree with the bolded point.  I don't think there is anything wrong with throwing your own party to celebrate special events in life.  Life is short as it is and why only celebrate with friends/loved ones when someone else feels generous enough to throw the party for you?  The only time throwing your own party seems off is when you are asking guests to bring you gifts through a registry or calling the party a "shower". 


 

  I think we're all on the same page here. But there's definitely an attitude I've seen elsewhere that you can never ever host yourself a party, even if theres no gifts involved, because its RUDE,  and I just won't ever get on board with that thinking.

Shoo

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Re: Expectant couple throwing their own baby shower?
« Reply #49 on: January 21, 2013, 06:10:41 PM »
Quote
Quote from: SpikeMichigan on Today at 09:53:58 AM

I'm with those who think you could host yourself a party and just not call it a shower, and certainly not have registry information.

 That said, I have really never understood the ferocity I've seen on this site with regards to throwing a party for yourself. It seems frankly silly that you should have to wait for someone else to offer to, as in some groups, that just won't happen. A whole lot less of a stupid etiquette dance if you just host yourself a party (not a shower) when you want one.

I think that most people on this site, myself included, agree with the bolded point.  I don't think there is anything wrong with throwing your own party to celebrate special events in life.  Life is short as it is and why only celebrate with friends/loved ones when someone else feels generous enough to throw the party for you?  The only time throwing your own party seems off is when you are asking guests to bring you gifts through a registry or calling the party a "shower". 


 

  I think we're all on the same page here. But there's definitely an attitude I've seen elsewhere that you can never ever host yourself a party, even if theres no gifts involved, because its RUDE,  and I just won't ever get on board with that thinking.


Not on this site.  We are concerned with etiquette, which says you can't plan your own party where you expect your guests to bring you presents.  Other sites, well, we can't help the ignorance of others.

Mikayla

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Re: Expectant couple throwing their own baby shower?
« Reply #50 on: January 21, 2013, 06:56:19 PM »
It's always interesting to see regional variations (like the UK not being big on showers).

But in standard US etiquette, they are considered one of the few occasions where a gift is always mandatory.  I've been to many, and I would never consider it a gift grab if friends are hosting it.  It's just a long standing tradition and a fun way to celebrate.

But then, I've never known anyone who tried to throw their own shower. 

Kiwichick

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Re: Expectant couple throwing their own baby shower?
« Reply #51 on: January 22, 2013, 04:01:47 PM »
Quote
Quote from: SpikeMichigan on Today at 09:53:58 AM

I'm with those who think you could host yourself a party and just not call it a shower, and certainly not have registry information.

 That said, I have really never understood the ferocity I've seen on this site with regards to throwing a party for yourself. It seems frankly silly that you should have to wait for someone else to offer to, as in some groups, that just won't happen. A whole lot less of a stupid etiquette dance if you just host yourself a party (not a shower) when you want one.

I think that most people on this site, myself included, agree with the bolded point.  I don't think there is anything wrong with throwing your own party to celebrate special events in life.  Life is short as it is and why only celebrate with friends/loved ones when someone else feels generous enough to throw the party for you?  The only time throwing your own party seems off is when you are asking guests to bring you gifts through a registry or calling the party a "shower". 


 

  I think we're all on the same page here. But there's definitely an attitude I've seen elsewhere that you can never ever host yourself a party, even if theres no gifts involved, because its RUDE,  and I just won't ever get on board with that thinking.

Well of course you would be on the same page as yourself  ;)