You know - I know it's 'tacky' according to traditional etiquette, but frankly I wouldn't mind if this became the new norm. I mean - it's a shower for the expectant couple, why _shouldn't_ they just be the ones to plan and host it? I can see that in an alternate universe it would be considered incredibly tacky to expect someone _else_ to throw you a party. ( "Oh great, so now I'm supposed to be so excited that my BFF is having a baby that _I_ need to spend all _my_ extra time planning a party for _her_?")
And if the couple has no interest in having a baby shower they don't need to come up with ways to politely refuse kind offers.
I don't see much of a downside. There's a general idea that 'it's conceited to throw a party in honor of yourself' but I'd rather we all just got over that - we don't expect others to plan our weddings, after all, or even, for the most part, our birthday parties.
How about if you want a party, you throw one. If you want me there, invite me. If I want to come, I'll accept. All these 'proxy' party plans seem to cause more problems than they solve.