Of course, here we hear about the "gimmes" and the "gift-grabs" because this is Etiquette Hell! The well-mannered people who don't do those things -- and they are legion -- don't appear here!
I am just superstitious enough -- and have been close enough to a couple of tragedies -- to dislike baby showers as a general rule. I vastly prefer a "meet the baby" open house, maybe following a "faith dedication" by any name, if one belongs to a faith that does some sort of dedication ceremony for new members, including infants. Presents of the small variety (onesies, diapers, etc.) are welcome and appreciated, of course, and family members or intimate friends often do something very special, like the classic silver cup, teething ring, or rattle, but none are needed or expected, and it isn't called a shower, which does carry the meaning of "showering" the GOH with an assortment of small gifts.
The couple's mis-step is calling their party, pre- or post the actual arrival, a "shower."
