"Please don't attend if you're sick"

[zainabzks]

Thanks! A great time was had by all. My mom got to have fun with her grandson or grand daughter (4yrs later). I was free to entertain my guests and keep the kids in healthy safe safe hands.

[Ciarrai]

My husband suggested that I leave the wording off the invitation but enclose a little card in the envelope that asks people not to attend if they're ill. That way, my SIL can keep the invitation as a keepsake without having to be reminded of this horrible cold and flu season.

My husband is obviously a smart man! 

[DottyG]

Yes he is.

[Bijou]

Have you considered putting it off until things calm down on the flu season front?  Although the intention may be loving, I think planning such a gathering for a newborn at this time of year (with or without the careless behavior of guests in the past) is just too risky with the flu, colds, whooping cough going around.  f I were a new mom I wouldn't want to take my baby into a crowd of people.  Even friends and relatives.

[Ciarrai]

Have you considered putting it off until things calm down on the flu season front?  Although the intention may be loving, I think planning such a gathering for a newborn at this time of year (with or without the careless behavior of guests in the past) is just too risky with the flu, colds, whooping cough going around.  f I were a new mom I wouldn't want to take my baby into a crowd of people.  Even friends and relatives.

As I noted earlier in the thread, I am not going to change the date unless my SIL requests it. She has chosen the date and is happy with it, so that will be it barring illness on herself or my niece's part.

[Lynn2000]

I feel weird going against the grain here, but actually I find including that wording on the invitation (or anywhere in the envelope) to be rude. On one level it's insulting to assume that adults won't know they ought to stay home when they're sick, without being told. On another level, since you know these people won't stay home when they're sick, I feel doubtful they would take the extra warning to heart or realize it was directed at them.

My personal opinion is, if you're going to host a party specifically so people can meet your new baby, it ought to be set up so people can actually, you know, meet the baby, as in hold, touch, and interact with. If you're inviting people to your house to meet your new baby, and then only one designated person is allowed to hold the baby while everyone else stands eight feet back with a face mask on and waves at the child--well, if I was at a party like that, I would wonder what the point was, and why the mom didn't wait until she felt more confident about the child's/family's health before having a party. Or why she was having a party at all--why not invite people over in small groups, where she has more control?

OP, I know this isn't your baby but your SIL's, and she's set on having a party on a specific date. In that case, I think the most you can do is greet people at the door, assess who's showed up sick, and then warn SIL, baby's father, etc. so they can swoop in and cheerfully keep the baby from being held for too long, if at all, by those rude, clueless people. I'm assuming simply not inviting the potential offenders is not an option.

I apologize, I'm honestly not trying to be snarky or anything, I just feel like I'm completely missing something here (which would not be the first time). I don't blame people for being worried about the flu, the news coverage has been terrifying; but in that case, I say don't have a party at all, rather than have a party and make everyone feel like their health is going to be scrutinized and judged if they attend.

[kudeebee]

I feel weird going against the grain here, but actually I find including that wording on the invitation (or anywhere in the envelope) to be rude. On one level it's insulting to assume that adults won't know they ought to stay home when they're sick, without being told. On another level, since you know these people won't stay home when they're sick, I feel doubtful they would take the extra warning to heart or realize it was directed at them.

My personal opinion is, if you're going to host a party specifically so people can meet your new baby, it ought to be set up so people can actually, you know, meet the baby, as in hold, touch, and interact with. If you're inviting people to your house to meet your new baby, and then only one designated person is allowed to hold the baby while everyone else stands eight feet back with a face mask on and waves at the child--well, if I was at a party like that, I would wonder what the point was, and why the mom didn't wait until she felt more confident about the child's/family's health before having a party. Or why she was having a party at all--why not invite people over in small groups, where she has more control?

OP, I know this isn't your baby but your SIL's, and she's set on having a party on a specific date. In that case, I think the most you can do is greet people at the door, assess who's showed up sick, and then warn SIL, baby's father, etc. so they can swoop in and cheerfully keep the baby from being held for too long, if at all, by those rude, clueless people. I'm assuming simply not inviting the potential offenders is not an option.

I apologize, I'm honestly not trying to be snarky or anything, I just feel like I'm completely missing something here (which would not be the first time). I don't blame people for being worried about the flu, the news coverage has been terrifying; but in that case, I say don't have a party at all, rather than have a party and make everyone feel like their health is going to be scrutinized and judged if they attend.

I totally agree with Lynn2000, especially the bolded part.  If I was invited to meet the baby but couldn't get a chance to hold or be near the baby, I would honestly wonder why I was even invited or what the purpose of the party really was.

[kareng57]

There's always some bug going around. Even if you held the event in July, there may be people with a stomach bug, flu, cold, etc.  roaming around.
I would include the note. Congratulations on your new niece!

Yes.  In early September (Labour Day weekend) both Dh and I suddenly came down with a severe virus.  Not standard-flu (there were no respiratory symptoms) but it started with one episode of serious vomiting.  After that - 24 hours of horrible headaches/body-aches.  The kicker was that our 14-month-old was just fine, had just learned to walk and was "destroying the house" as Dh later put it.  Somehow one of us managed to check-in on him once every hour or so - and because of the holiday weekend, every relative who could potentially have helped out was out of town.

Overall - many of these things do come on very suddenly, and sometimes they're most contagious the day before the people start displaying symptoms.  So, even saying "do not attend if you are sick" won't prevent all illnesses.

I have to agree that if I received an invitation with these "precautions" I would find it rather insulting and would likely just stay home, rather than risking a small sneeze.