Shared Room and Snoring

[PastryGoddess]

I think if I help to pay for a room then I get a room key and access to the room as well.

Shoo I think you are saying what the rest of us are saying but in a different way.  If push comes to shove and B cannot sleep in the same room with A, then yes they each have to pay for their own room. However, I think that B should not request money of A to help pay for a separate room. Because in effect A would then be paying for a whole room and a half of a room which is not fair at all. 

[Shoo]

Shoo, I just want to make sure I'm understanding your example correctly. So, in what you've asked above, does this mean that B said something before Day 3? Did he try another option before going to the new room (whether that's earplugs, white noise, whatever for himself or something that might help A not snore as loudly)? Was a compromise attempted first or is B going to the new room solution first?

We have several versions of what's being asked here - from the actual OP's situation to some others that we've created since then that I want to get a complete picture of where you are with this.  (That's a genuine question to clarify for my own understanding - not a snarky question.)

I'm not sure which scenario I'm arguing, to be honest!    In both, I am quite sympathetic to B.  He didnt' sleep the first night.  Apparently, he thought his sheer exhaustion would help him sleep the 2nd night.  When that didn't work, he gave up and got another room.  Folks here are blaming him for not getting a new room sooner, or going out and buying ear plugs, or some such thing.  I don't really see anybody here blaming A, and I just find that bizarre.  A may not be able to do anything about it, but he most certainly is the cause of the problem.  Doesn't he bear any responsibility for what he has put B through?

Apparently I am the only one who thinks so.  Oh, well.

[DottyG]

Shoo I think you are saying what the rest of us are saying but in a different way

I think so, too.

I'm not sure which scenario I'm arguing, to be honest

LOL! I know the feeling!

Apparently I am the only one who thinks so.  Oh, well

You keep saying that, but that's not what I'm seeing in the thread. Most, if not almost all, have said that A isn't completely immune to all this. We're reading this thread in such totally different ways if you're seeing yourself alone in that!

[Shoo]

I think if I help to pay for a room then I get a room key and access to the room as well.

Shoo I think you are saying what the rest of us are saying but in a different way.  If push comes to shove and B cannot sleep in the same room with A, then yes they each have to pay for their own room. However, I think that B should not request money of A to help pay for a separate room. Because in effect A would then be paying for a whole room and a half of a room which is not fair at all. 

Yes, this is what I am saying too.  Whew!

[DottyG]

[sparksals]

I'm curious about what kind of responsibility the snorer should accept.  So far, it looks like the only one to have to do anything different, or incur any kind of additional expense is the person who is being kept awake all night by the snoring.

Does that sound fair to you?  It does not sound fair to me.

POD!

[DottyG]

Sparks, then I ask you the same (genuine) questions!

[sparksals]

Shoo, I just want to make sure I'm understanding your example correctly. So, in what you've asked above, does this mean that B said something before Day 3? Did he try another option before going to the new room (whether that's earplugs, white noise, whatever for himself or something that might help A not snore as loudly)? Was a compromise attempted first or is B going to the new room solution first?

We have several versions of what's being asked here - from the actual OP's situation to some others that we've created since then that I want to get a complete picture of where you are with this.  (That's a genuine question to clarify for my own understanding - not a snarky question.)

I'm not sure which scenario I'm arguing, to be honest!    In both, I am quite sympathetic to B.  He didnt' sleep the first night.  Apparently, he thought his sheer exhaustion would help him sleep the 2nd night.  When that didn't work, he gave up and got another room.  Folks here are blaming him for not getting a new room sooner, or going out and buying ear plugs, or some such thing.  I don't really see anybody here blaming A, and I just find that bizarre.  A may not be able to do anything about it, but he most certainly is the cause of the problem.  Doesn't he bear any responsibility for what he has put B through?

Apparently I am the only one who thinks so.  Oh, well.

No, Shoo.  I am with you on all of this.

[sparksals]

I think if I help to pay for a room then I get a room key and access to the room as well.

Shoo I think you are saying what the rest of us are saying but in a different way.  If push comes to shove and B cannot sleep in the same room with A, then yes they each have to pay for their own room. However, I think that B should not request money of A to help pay for a separate room. Because in effect A would then be paying for a whole room and a half of a room which is not fair at all. 

Yes, this is what I am saying too.  Whew!

Me too.

[Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love]

I think if I help to pay for a room then I get a room key and access to the room as well.

Shoo I think you are saying what the rest of us are saying but in a different way.  If push comes to shove and B cannot sleep in the same room with A, then yes they each have to pay for their own room. However, I think that B should not request money of A to help pay for a separate room. Because in effect A would then be paying for a whole room and a half of a room which is not fair at all.

I agree that both A and B should have to pay for the entire cost of each of their rooms. But here's another question: Why should B be the one to have to pay for the more expensive room? If the original agreement was that A and B would split the cost of the one room, and then circumstances make it so that B is unable to use the room for its intended purpose, why is B the one who should incur extra costs simply because the only other available room is so expensive?

I think if both A and B are going to be fair and polite, then A should be the one to offer to move to and to pay for the new and more expensive room. It may not be that A is intentionally making it impossible for B to use the room, but A is most certainly responsible. And part of being a polite member of society is taking responsibility for yourself, even if your actions are involuntary and unavoidable.

[PastryGoddess]

I think what was happening was in the beginning there were lots of people who were blaming A for keeping poor B up all night without holding B responsible for mitigating the problem before getting the separate room. 

Eventually, someone said Hey!, A's snoring is bad, but did B actually say anything or try to work with A to come up with another solution besides shelling out for another room.  Then the thread swung around to defending A and poor B got dogpiled on. 

Then the thread came back to the middle with all of us agreeing on certain points:

• A's snoring kept B from sleeping for two nights
• B needs to actually talk to A about the snoring and both of them need to make compromises so that each of them are happy
• If B absolutely cannot sleep in the same room as A after compromising, then the option of B getting a separate room needs to be discussed

To Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love point
There is a word/phrase for this which I cannot remember now, but I'm going to substitute the word accident instead.

A did not know or think that their snoring was bad enough to keep B awake for 2 nights.  B did not know that A's snoring would be bad enough to keep him/her up all night long.  Neither one are going to be entirely happy with the outcome.  Both of them would have to incur extra costs as the result of B moving out.  Both of them would have to pay for 1 entire room on their own when it is all said and done. 

It was just happenstance(sp) that the only rooms left were more expensive rooms when B decided to move, but that is often what happens at the last minute at hotels.  Also, remember B decided to move without talking to A and finding out if there was a way to reduce or negate A's snoring.  So B made an choice without considering all of the options and the consequences of that uninformed choice was to pay a higher room rate.

[Fleur]

While I think that B was out of line to ask A to pay for part of a new room, I think it is totally fair for A to have to pay all the cost of the original room, for the remaining time. I don't agree with the 'breaking contract' argument. Snoring can be terribly disturbing, and I think that is more on A than on B-it is on the snorer to at least try to minimize how much they inconvenience others (not fully talking about the situation in the OP, here, just more hypothetically. For the OP, it sounds as if B mishandled it by not speaking up soon enough and then pursuing a somewhat drastic and highly expensive course of action.) That said, I think that if A had even a slight idea that they snored badly, then they should have warned B or even just declined to share a room. If A knew about the snoring, it seems like kind of a bait and switch.

[Sharnita]

Shoo, I am confused. In one post you say.A caused the problem then in an another you say nobody is blaming A.

[geekette]

Is there any reason why they couldn't just try a combination to compromise? B wears earplugs or uses a noisemaker of some sort, A sleeps on their side instead of their back (thereby reducing their volume).

[camlan]

Shoo, I just want to make sure I'm understanding your example correctly. So, in what you've asked above, does this mean that B said something before Day 3? Did he try another option before going to the new room (whether that's earplugs, white noise, whatever for himself or something that might help A not snore as loudly)? Was a compromise attempted first or is B going to the new room solution first?

We have several versions of what's being asked here - from the actual OP's situation to some others that we've created since then that I want to get a complete picture of where you are with this.  (That's a genuine question to clarify for my own understanding - not a snarky question.)

I'm not sure which scenario I'm arguing, to be honest!    In both, I am quite sympathetic to B.  He didnt' sleep the first night.  Apparently, he thought his sheer exhaustion would help him sleep the 2nd night.  When that didn't work, he gave up and got another room.  Folks here are blaming him for not getting a new room sooner, or going out and buying ear plugs, or some such thing.  I don't really see anybody here blaming A, and I just find that bizarre.  A may not be able to do anything about it, but he most certainly is the cause of the problem.  Doesn't he bear any responsibility for what he has put B through?

Apparently I am the only one who thinks so.  Oh, well.

A is indeed responsible for the problem. But the thing about snoring is that the snorer doesn't know they are snoring. It is entirely possible that A has no idea he/she snores.

So while that doesn't let A off scot-free, it does mean that for A, B's action in taking another, expensive room might have come out of the blue.

So while A has bears the responsibility for the problem, I don't see A as carrying any blame.

Now, if A had been alerted to the problem and then refused to even attempt to do anything about it, A would indeed be blamed for it. But A didn't know, and therefore couldn't try medications or different sleeping positions, or offer to get a separate room, or buy B earplugs or any other possible remedy.

I guess it don't think it is fair to blame someone for a problem they don't know they are causing.

Now, if A knew before the trip that he/she snores like a freight train all night, every night, then I'd put the blame squarely on A. We just don't know that detail.