Why didn't you tell me that when I asked?

[MrTango]

What kid doesnt like Smores???

I didn't when I was a kid.

I agree with all the PPs who said OP wasn't rude at all.

[DottyG]

Given that 'typical' barbecue foods are burgers, steaks, that sort of thing I could understand a bit of confusion if you were invited to a barbecue and found the menu to be as fancy as in this case.

Those are not "typical BBQ foods" in my neck of the woods. I would not expect steaks, burgers or anything of that nature if invited to a BBQ dinner.

[gramma dishes]

Given that 'typical' barbecue foods are burgers, steaks, that sort of thing I could understand a bit of confusion if you were invited to a barbecue and found the menu to be as fancy as in this case.

Those are not "typical BBQ foods" in my neck of the woods. I would not expect steaks, burgers or anything of that nature if invited to a BBQ dinner.

It doesn't matter if anyone thought those are "typical" barbeque foods or not!  I understand that 'typical' may mean quite different things to different people.

But  ~~  this woman was shown an actual menu.  She knew what was being served.  She claimed her kids would eat "anything". 

[DottyG]

But  ~~  this woman was shown an actual menu.  She knew what was being served.  She claimed her kids would eat "anything".

Oh, I agree completely.  I was just responding to the "not typical BBQ" comment.

No, in the original scenario, the OP is totally in the clear.

[gramma dishes]

But  ~~  this woman was shown an actual menu.  She knew what was being served.  She claimed her kids would eat "anything".

Oh, I agree completely.  I was just responding to the "not typical BBQ" comment.

No, in the original scenario, the OP is totally in the clear.

LOL!!   And I was agreeing with you!!  At least that was my intent!   

[snowdragon]

Given that 'typical' barbecue foods are burgers, steaks, that sort of thing I could understand a bit of confusion if you were invited to a barbecue and found the menu to be as fancy as in this case.

Those are not "typical BBQ foods" in my neck of the woods. I would not expect steaks, burgers or anything of that nature if invited to a BBQ dinner.

Dotty G what would you expect as BBQ foods? I am always looking for new Ideas.

[snappylt]

I would have looked the dad straight in the face and said "I gave your wife the menu ahead of time.  She approved it." and then looked at the mom straight in the face and said "I gave you the menu ahead of time.  You said your kids will eat anything.  Twice."

Saying that in a calm and puzzled tone is not rude.

I agree with Rose Red, as long as you use a calm tone of voice - or, better yet, a puzzled tone of voice, I think it's OK to go ahead and ask point blank.

I'm guessing you were floored when they verbally attacked, and you didn't think fast enough, though.  (?)

I appreciate how you told us those people will never be invited again.  (It's a shame that it would be rude for you to tell them that!)

[KenveeB]

I would have looked the dad straight in the face and said "I gave your wife the menu ahead of time.  She approved it." and then looked at the mom straight in the face and said "I gave you the menu ahead of time.  You said your kids will eat anything.  Twice."

I love this.  It's completely true.  It's short and sweet.  And it gets the point across perfectly.

Agreed. Just look at them blankly for a moment and point out that she approved the menu and assured you the kids would eat anything. Sounds to me like she didn't tell her family the menu, then when they didn't like it she tried to put all the blame on the OP for the menu instead of admitting she'd thought they would like it.

[DottyG]

BBQ to me would be brisket, ribs, maybe a roasted chicken (on the BBQ grill) and things like that.

Sides would be cole slaw, potato salad, beans,....

And iced tea - preferably sweet tea!

[Rohanna]

BBQ here means hot dogs and hamburgers, unless the host specifies- fancier BBQ would have steak, chicken breast, meat kebabs or sausage. I think the confusion comes from what the South calls BBQ- which is rarely done at home in Canada- with what we do more of, which is more what I believe is called "grilling" there.

However, that is completely beyond the point here- because the Mom was told the menu. I don't think it's fair to pick on the kids for not caring for the food- though they should not have (depending somewhat on age) made such a fuss about it. There's a whole thread about picky eating adults- and kids can be far more cautious about what they will and won't eat- even if they eventually grow out of it. My 4 year old won't touch leafy salad- and given his father can't eat it without stomach pain (crohn's disease), I'm not forcing him either. I wouldn't let him "gag" about food though- he knows even at 4 that he is to "eat around" things he doesn't like.

I  lay the blame on the parents for either not admitting to their kids pickiness, or apologizing for their behaviour and correcting it if they aren't normally fussy- and also for complaining at the OP's menu instead of speaking up when they could have.

[LeveeWoman]

I would have looked the dad straight in the face and said "I gave your wife the menu ahead of time.  She approved it." and then looked at the mom straight in the face and said "I gave you the menu ahead of time.  You said your kids will eat anything.  Twice."

Saying that in a calm and puzzled tone is not rude.

I agree with Rose Red, as long as you use a calm tone of voice - or, better yet, a puzzled tone of voice, I think it's OK to go ahead and ask point blank.

I'm guessing you were floored when they verbally attacked, and you didn't think fast enough, though.  (?)

I appreciate how you told us those people will never be invited again.  (It's a shame that it would be rude for you to tell them that!)

Would it be rude to tell them?

[snowdragon]

BBQ here means hot dogs and hamburgers, unless the host specifies- fancier BBQ would have steak, chicken breast, meat kebabs or sausage. I think the confusion comes from what the South calls BBQ- which is rarely done at home in Canada- with what we do more of, which is more what I believe is called "grilling" there.

However, that is completely beyond the point here- because the Mom was told the menu. I don't think it's fair to pick on the kids for not caring for the food- though they should not have (depending somewhat on age) made such a fuss about it. There's a whole thread about picky eating adults- and kids can be far more cautious about what they will and won't eat- even if they eventually grow out of it. My 4 year old won't touch leafy salad- and given his father can't eat it without stomach pain (crohn's disease), I'm not forcing him either. I wouldn't let him "gag" about food though- he knows even at 4 that he is to "eat around" things he doesn't like.

I  lay the blame on the parents for either not admitting to their kids pickiness, or apologizing for their behaviour and correcting it if they aren't normally fussy- and also for complaining at the OP's menu instead of speaking up when they could have.

 As per the bolded, they were 8 and 10, no medical issues that anyone had ever hear of.  Next time I saw Samantha she said that porkchops were usually a favorite food so she was not sure what the issue was - but no apology, in fact she asked if "We could try it again sometime"

[Iris]

^ WAY too old to be making gagging noises at food. Way, way too old.

I think you went above and beyond and the family was rude. Now, my DD2 is was a slightly fussy eater and changed her preferences from day to day (it felt sometimes) and I am raising her that it is fine to have food preferences but NOT fine to expect other people to exert themselves to cater to her ever-changing tastes. So I could see myself doing the first half of this - saying that whatever you serve will be fine even though DD2 may in fact decide that she doesn't like it on the day. However, the gagging noise would have resulted in *instant* removal from the table for a serious talking to and she would have been expected to make a meal out of the variety of food on offer. If she decided that corn on the cob was all she would eat because Mercury was in retrograde and the fairies had danced counter clockwise the night before then I would expect her to eat the corn on the cob, say thank you for it, and keep quiet about everything else.

[LeveeWoman]

Barbecue is a red herring.

 

[DottyG]

No. I don't think I've ever had herring at a BBQ.