Okay, E-Hellions. This topic is personally a hot-button for me because one of my offspring experienced an "emergency baptism." This isn't the <hugs> folder and you aren't my therapists, but for what it is worth . . .
First, my vote is that Grandma did exceed boundaries, and ESPECIALLY since the sacrement of Holy Baptism is so important to Grandma that she uses a kitchen faucet to perform one in a non-emergency situation . . . this is important to her, so she doubly disrespects the wishes of the parents.
I'm pretty private on E-Hell and on all electronic formats, but this time I'm going to share. My bright beautiful 3-day old child was life-flighted to a major hospital an hour away from where she was born. We were frightened, almost panicky. Phone calls to our parents and grandparents were immediately made. I was discharged a day early, and our entire family, including toddler daughter, scurried to the larger hospital to find out what was wrong. Gathered in a small conference-sized room awaiting a consultation and hopefully a diagnosis, a nurse blithely waltzed into the room where our entire family was assembled, waved a piece of paper, and exclaimed, "I just baptized your daughter!" Terrified, I screamed, "My baby! She's dying!" Nurse, "No, she's not." Me: "Why did you baptize our daughter if she isn't dying?" Nurse: "Because it says on her chart that you are Christian." Me: "If I had wanted our daughter baptized in a hospital by a nurse while we sat in a closed room 8-feet away, we would at the very least want to be PRESENT."
I do believe hospital or battlefield baptisms are at times appropriate, meaningful, and still a sacrament even though offered by a layperson. It's not because she was "merely" a nurse (please take that comment in the spirit intended.) It was because I was THERE, my ENTIRE FAMILY was there, but we have absolutely no idea what was done or what was said in that closed room between the woman and a 3-day old child. Fast forward 13 years, it's time for her to celebrate her Affirmation of Baptism, but we still don't know. WAS she baptized? As Piratelvr said, we believe in ONE baptism for the forgiveness of sin, not 67 if that is more convenient. Yes, this is etiquette but it is also Theology and Faith and a Sacrament.
Happy Ending. Fast forward to today. Daugher is fine, in college, and engaged to be married. Apparently, however, I'm still angry.